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Found another womans jewellery in BF's bathroom?

  • 04-11-2009 1:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi all, going unreg here.
    Was at my BF's house last night, it's a rented house he shares with another couple but they have their own bathroom and never use his. I hadn't seen him for a week cos he's a truck driver and was driving in UK all week.
    so was in his loo and found a broken silver woman's chain with a charm on it left up by the sink. This is not mine so i asked him where he got it and he said he found it on the toilet floor or somewhere, he doesn't remember exactly and doesn't know who owns it... when i pressed him on it, he said "i thought it was yours, i have nothing to hide, why else would i leave it up by the sink where you'd see it.."

    I'm finding this a bit hard to believe cos he's usually a bit of a neat freak and it would have stuck out a mile if it was there all along cos he cleans nearly every 2nd day.
    That plus the fact he's cheated on me before with a girl he met online... i took him back eventually about 6 months later as he begged me and i still love him. It's been going great for the past year and i really feel that i trust him again.

    Am i being overly paranoid here? i hate not trusting him but i cant think of any reasonable explanation as to where this chain came out of and it's bugging the life out of me!!


Comments

  • #2
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    He saw it in the hall on the way into his room, picked it up, went into his room, had to pee, went into the bathroom, left it on the sink.

    His female housemate needed to use the loo when there was someone in the shower, it broke, fell off.

    He found it somewhere else in the house, stuck it in his pocket, found it when he was using the bathroom, took it out, left it on the sink...


    And a million other possibilities. If it's not the housemate's, I'd maybe be suspicious... find out if it's hers first.


  • #3
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    If he hadn't cheated before I'd be saying you're over reacting but.....

    So, I'd ask the flatmate if it's hers and if not then I'd be suspicious.

    Has he been giving you any reason to suspect he might be cheating again? I only ask as it's a pretty big jump from bracelet to cheating.


  • #4
    dublingal80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭dublingal80


    even if he was cheating, why would he have the other womans broken bracelet?

    I think you a probably thinkin too much into things, but since he cheated on you before, i wouldnt blame you


  • #5
    Colonel_McCoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Colonel_McCoy


    maybe one of his house mates friend\sister\cousin etc called over and dropped it!


  • #6
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    OP, is your boyfriends bathroom an ensuite? As in, would the person have to be in his bedroom before getting to his bathroom?
    Or do the couple have the ensuite and your OH has the main bathroom to himself?


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  • #7
    Terodil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Terodil


    ash23 wrote: »
    OP, is your boyfriends bathroom an ensuite? As in, would the person have to be in his bedroom before getting to his bathroom?
    Or do the couple have the ensuite and your OH has the main bathroom to himself?
    I don't really see the relevance. Shelly pointed out:
    shellyboo wrote: »
    He saw it in the hall on the way into his room, picked it up, went into his room, had to pee, went into the bathroom, left it on the sink.
    which, I think, is the most probable scenario. I forget stuff all over the place all the time, esp. in the bathroom, and I always go to the bathroom to wash my hands as soon as I come home. Not unrealistic at all.


  • #8
    loloray
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 149 ✭✭loloray


    Terodil wrote: »
    I don't really see the relevance. Shelly pointed out:
    Shelly wrote:
    He saw it in the hall on the way into his room, picked it up, went into his room, had to pee, went into the bathroom, left it on the sink.
    which, I think, is the most probable scenario. I forget stuff all over the place all the time, esp. in the bathroom, and I always go to the bathroom to wash my hands as soon as I come home. Not unrealistic at all.
    Read the OP's original post. He said he found it on the toilet floor, so it's impossible for what you are saying to be the most probable scenario.

    Anyway, whenever someone leave's jewellery/whatever in mine, I have a fair idea who owns it. I think his answer is too vague to be the truth.

    If it was yours then why didn't he tell you he had it? And if he is a clean freak and it was yours, then he would've seen it from the last time you were there, so I don't think he thought it could be yours.

    If it was something you found under his bed, I'd say it could've been there for ages, and perhaps that is paranoia, however based on his description, I think this one stinks, especially as he doesn't have a good track-record.


  • #9
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    The reason I ask about the bathroom is that I feel it is important.
    If the couple have the ensuite and he has the master bathroom. then if they had guests in while he was away, it is quite probable that they used the main bathroom (his) and that someone could have lost the bracelet.

    If someone has to go through his bedroom to use his bathroom, well it's unlikely he wouldn't have known they were there. Unless his housemates let someone stay in his bedroom or use his bathroom which is unlikely.

    I have an ensuite and I'm the only one who uses my bathroom. If I have friends staying they use the main bathroom.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi All, the couple he is living with have an en-suite and his is the main bathroom but the thing is he usually keeps it locked if he's away driving for long periods of time and they don't have many guests in the house usually.
    The couple are polish and the girl has very little english.
    Also, i left the chain on the window last night meaning to pick it up today and ask the girl but when i got up this morning, he'd left for work already and the chain was gone.
    i know i sound like i'm blowing this all out of proportion but all the little signs of the last time he cheated are coming flooding back and i'm really trying not to, but i am starting to get suspicious.


  • #11
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    charmss wrote: »
    Also, i left the chain on the window last night meaning to pick it up today and ask the girl but when i got up this morning, he'd left for work already and the chain was gone..

    Which window did you leave it on? Could the polish girl, if it is hers have reclaimed it?


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  • #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    it was on the window in his bedroom.


  • #13
    Heilixc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Heilixc


    Of course he is cheating. Time to move on!


  • #14
    Kipperhell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,477 ✭✭✭Kipperhell


    Every reason to be suspicious no reason to be sure. I think you should leave him if you are going to be that suspicious all the time.

    Having gone out with somebody who was jealous and suspicious I can firmly say it is as destructive to a relationship as cheating.


  • #15
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    charmsss wrote: »
    it was on the window in his bedroom.
    Ok well obviously he took it or moved it so did he give it back to his flatmate or to someone else? Its easy enough to ask the girl if she got her jewellery back. If its not hers then....


  • #16
    jeckle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 652 ✭✭✭jeckle


    Even if it turns out there is a simple explanation to this the fact is you are suspicious. These suspicions will only continue.

    If you don't trust him, dump him.

    You don't seem to trust him.


  • #17
    dublingal80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭dublingal80


    i think you should sit back and think about if this is a relationship you are honestly happy in.

    If he is cheating on you again.. well you know what you have to do but because he already did before, its hard for you to trust him properly, which all of us can understand. But if this scenario does come out with a happy ending and the bracelet does end up being his housemates or one of her friends, it doesnt mean that something else will happen, that could be easily something misunderstood again and you will have your poor head melted.

    Im not saying he is innocent, and im not saying he isnt. I'm just saying that if he is, and you get past this, someone else is bound to happen that will have you question him again and you cant live your life on edge, always worried.

    u deserve more


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