can this justify a break-up???

LegacyUser

ok, ill keep this as short as possible, its kinda hard tho.

recently my girlfriend of 2 years and i decided to break up...but to meet up in a month at my m8s bday party and see how we feel. I still love her, and i feel she does too...i know your probably thinking, you clearly didn't love each other if you break up! fair point, BUT!

The reason we broke up is more about our age, both of us are 20, in college and want to do seperate things in summers to come...again, this must sound, well duh...break up!!! Its not like that tho and its kinda hard to explain! We've talked about breaking up before and in the end we both knew we couldn't, shes my best friend and we get on like a house on fire...NONE of my friends can understand it because of the way we got on together when around them sayin how we wer the "perfect couple" etc, and, it was even better when i was alone with her!

can i justify a break-up if i feel i don't want to be in a relationship that seems to have a clock ticking over its head...caz i know we will be going our seperate ways for months on end at some stages.

I want to let her do her things, and in no way would ever want to hold her back for whatever reasons...and i know she would do the same for me...

Shes just the perfect package i could ask for in a girl and it would kill me if we broke up for good, i feel id always have the "what if..." situation for years to come and compare any girl i met to her...and i doubt they would match up.

Its really eating me up!! I love her so much and thats why i want to do the right thing even if the right thing might be to let her go now...but i don't know if i could live with that decision...?

sorry if that went on for awhile, but, its not easy to describe the feelings...and i dont think i even got it across very well...

even my decision has a clock hanging over it...:(

cheers.

justify.break

Let me put it this way ...

justify.break wrote: »

I still love her, and i feel she does too ...

shes my best friend and we get on like a house on fire...NONE of my friends can understand it because of the way we got on together when around them sayin how we wer the "perfect couple" etc, and, it was even better when i was alone with her!

Shes just the perfect package i could ask for in a girl and it would kill me if we broke up for good, i feel id always have the "what if..." situation for years to come and compare any girl i met to her...and i doubt they would match up.

Its really eating me up!! I love her so much

You broke up with this ^ girl? Just in case it didn't work out in the future??

And what does she think of all this? Does she want to be set free??

You can justify anything to yourself but personally that seems like a complete waste.

sedantez

I did something similar when I was 23 (now 33) - I broke up with the my soul mate because (a) I wanted to travel and wanted freedom (b) thought I wanted to sow my wild oats

The minute we split I felt sick. We were soul mates and broke up for a stupid rational reason. We spent a year or two apart, saw other people and that messes everything up. We tried to get back together but too much crap had happened in between.

My advice; good relationships don’t come around very often – don’t let her slip through your fingers!

pookie82

I don't see why travelling seperately for a few summers means you guys absolutely must end what sounds like a near prefect relationship. It can be done while still together. Unless the point of these trips is to sleep around as well as everything else. if not, I can't really see a problem in being together.

LegacyUser

I understand how bizarre this situation must seem...thats why i felt the need to post this in the forum.

Sorry, i should have clarifyed the "summers to come" things, shes going away for a month and half for xmas, next summer shes going away for 3.5 months to vietnam, she wants to do volunteer work away in asia/south africa and this could potentially be 6 month stays or more in the future...i have no problem with this, actually encourage her to do it! same as myself, i have my own dreams of travelling but they differ from hers as i want to go to family in canada/america and new zealand.

I feel that this would put strain on a relationship which seems so perfect at the MOMENT and in my mind, i dont want to ruin it, kinda remember how good things were ya know...BUT, can i really live with that???

in my mind, i feel like a relationship has a certain amount of chances...could things possibly go back the way they we're in the future if we broke up? is this stirke 1 or 3?

and going back to a previous poster, i can only speak for myself here, i dont intend to go off with other girls...far from it at the moment...and for herself, shes very attractive and gets an awful lot of intention from other lads, but thats not reason im still with her.

I don't want things leading up to her going for me to act selfish and want her to stay and then for her to feel guilty or worse...this could lead to resentments etc and ruin what im trying to preserve?

am i living in fantasy land if things were to end on a high they could be restarted on a high in the future???

thanks for your replies.