Has anyone here moved cities on account of identity?

Filan

Is it much easier to live in larger cities like Cork and Dublin?.....

Goodshape

I guess I kinda did, yeah.

I wouldn't say it was my only reason for moving (to Dublin from Donegal) but I didn't feel comfortable coming out until I had, and have to admit the thought of moving back there makes me a bit anxious. Unfortunately (and much to my mothers protest), I rarely even visit anymore :-/

Not that I ever had any (or much, at least) abuse or difficulty due to being gay - at this stage I'd wager most of anyone who knows me in Donegal knows I'm gay - and I've yet to hear of anyone having a problem with it. It's just that sort of unspoken-ness of it. I'm not straight and... eh... let's just not talk about that other thing. Possibly as much to do with my own insecurities about it as anything else.

In Dublin I feel I'm able to be open and comfortable with that part of who I am, much more than I could be 'back home'.

Though my family moved around quite a bit when I was younger anyway and I sort of got used to it. I didn't so much feel forced to leave my hometown, more that it was just time to move on. At the same time I'd have to admit it was a pretty strong factor in the decision making process.

AssaultedPeanut

I personally haven't (born and live in Dublin) but my ex was from a tiny village in the back of beyonds and wouldn't dream of coming out. We were together 3.5 years and none of her family knew.
She now lives in Brighton I think, and her brother (also gay) who I got on with pretty well, lives in London the last i heard.
Even texting him about a year after me & his sister parted ways I mentioned I had a new GF etc and he replied "oh my god you're gay? Does <insert ex's name> know?":(

It's shitty that people have to/feel they have to go to such lengths as to leave their homes, but if you can't even come out to your own brother who is also gay then I think you're going overboard.

Nebit

I moved to Dublin because i couldn't stand the small town mentality of Maigh Eo it had nothing to do with my sexuality tbh infact by then i had kept it such a tight secret it didn't even come to mind, even though it effected me daily by the end of the Leaving Cert.

off topic, i know i wouldn't have come out had i stayed in Maigh Eo even if i had moved to Galway i wouldn't have, simply because all my old school peers went there. I also think if i hadn't have moved to Dub id av been gone with myself a long time ago.
so no i didn move to Dub on accoint of identity but it has helped me express myself more.

boredboard

moved to Dublin because of Uni... Dublin has changed a lot since then... Not sure if it is so different (to urban areas) in rural areas anymore as have not lived in a rural area in years... though I have notice a greater acceptance of different sexualities in smaller towns/villages when visiting... I was going to start a similar thread asking about how it is for gay men (in particular) living in rural areas in Ireland... and particularly farmers/construction ppl etc who may have less contact with ppl outside of their professions (the reason I didn't start the thread was because I was unsure how I wanted to word it; which may be obvious from this post

Filan

I live in a suburban area, where town and country meet literaly. Was disappointed at cheap shots at Donal Og I heard a few nights ago in the pub, the older generation I feel are slow, if not immune to change, although I hope that younger attitudes are liberalising, some definitely are but not all either.

shoegirl

Yes twice, but not for different reasons. The first time was to be away from family interference in my relationship, and the second time was to get as far away as possible from that relationship!!

azezil

My main reason for leaving Kilkenny was to meet other gay guys. At the time I hadn't got a clue how to meet guys other than in a gay bar (I'm still not much better).

After that initial buzz passed and I gave it some thought I concluded I'll never go back. It simply is easier to be gay in a big city than in a rural community.

YokoFactor

Moved from Enniscorthy to Dublin. It definitely is more liberating, most people I come in contact with up here are open-minded and I can talk about relationships and whatever more freely. Which is nice. And I don't get any more homophobic remarks made at me, which is still taking me some time to get used to. I also don't have to worry about the family anymore, and I can have whoever I want back to my place without having to worry about the folks back home ever finding out. I don't see me moving back in a hurry.

jady88

Filan wrote: »

I live in a suburban area, where town and country meet literaly. Was disappointed at cheap shots at Donal Og I heard a few nights ago in the pub, the older generation I feel are slow, if not immune to change, although I hope that younger attitudes are liberalising, some definitely are but not all either.

People, young and old, will always make cheap shots, if he had announced he was marrying someone from the Philippines I'd imagine he'd have gotten the same level of commentary if not a bit more.

Personally I've lived all over the place, inner city Dublin, "posh" Dublin, suburban nightmare in Kildare, picturesque countryside in Laois and back to Dublin again. I think that it is much easier to be gay in a more urbanized area because there is just more gay people there, it sounds simplistic but I genuinely believe thats the crux of the issue.