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Advice please!

  • 03-11-2009 5:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey there.... As the title says this is a bit of a story. I don't think I'm alone here, infact I'm certain there's been loads in my boat so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

    I'm a male in my mid to late twenties. I was in a long term relationship for most of my college years; first year to forth year. We lived together for the entire relationship so it wasn't your regular thing. It was a pretty mutual ending... the relationship went stale and got boring, we fell out of love so went our seperate ways. We were each other's first sexual partners. This ended in 2005.... donkeys ago!

    I was depressed for a long time after this: read about three years or more. I hit the drink hard but still managed to top my class and land a good job which I still currently have - great in this climate! :) I've since resolved the drink problem. I put on lots of weight during this course of self destruction, which I have also now resolved too. I look better than I have done in years, and I feel great.

    Recently I found out she is engaged and this has been great closure for me. I can finally move on with my life, as I did day dream every now and again about bumping into her. I haven't had a relationship since her - out of choice as I did not feel I was ready for one again. I wanted to be sure I was over her and had my head straight before giving it a go again. So that's all grand, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to give another relationship a try.

    The problem: I've only had three sexual encounters since that relationship, and in two of those I ejaculated prematurely as I hadn't had a shag in ages I guess. I never had this problem with my ex so I'm hoping it's not some mental thing that has developed. I'm not big on one night stands so whenever I have the chance to take someone home I don't do it.... in the back of my mind I'm thinking I haven't had sex regularly enough to make it worth while... while also thinking it's a bit cheap/trashy. I just don't like the idea of it, never have. The three encounters since my ex have been one night stands and I didn't enjoy any of them to be honest.

    So... I'm probably over thinking alot of this... but is there anyone in the same/similar boat? After a long term relationship ending you decided to give relationships a miss for ages... and then experienced nerves when getting back in the sack? Have I anything to be worried about or should I just relax and go with the flow.... it'll all 'come good', etc. :)

    Thanks for reading!


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    That's great that you've moved on and sorted the drink problem out. Don't worry too much about premature ejaculation, if you think its a mental thing should probably as you say relax and go with the flow. If you avoid sex then you're never going to get back into the swing of things. I've always been against one night stands - sorry nothing against you, I personally just don't like the idea. But if you do meet someone you click with don't go straight into having sex, take it slow and who knows it might all work out down there as you relax and feel comfortable around new women :)


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