Depression or is my relationship coming to an end.

whowhatwhen

Don’t know where to start here. Been with my OH for 4.1/2 years, living together 3 1/2 of those years and 1 year ago just built a beautiful house together.
For the past 3 to 4 weeks I have been feeling what I can only describe as depressed and this is effecting me and seems to be getting worse. What is worrying/confusing me is am I depressed as I fear my relationship is coming to and end, or am I worried about my relationship because I am depressed?? I just cant work it out.

I feel down about everything and nothing is exciting me lately, hate the thoughts of going into work, have no motivation at home to do exercise or cook dinners, appetite is effected. I feel my relationship is a factor but I feel that if I took a break away from it I would feel even more unhappy. Also we are financially completely tied with our house etc and if I left he would not be able to cope on his own with the financial side of things and it would leave me in a very bad financial situation also. Also I cannot even comprehend leaving, I would be in bits about the whole thing and it would just seem like an even bigger mess to me then.

My boyf is a great guy, he treats me well and loves me to bits, great looking etc etc, but I just feel there is no spark there , but then im counter arguing that with the fact we have been together over 4 years and the honeymoon period is over and why cant i just appreciate what i have got

I have been speaking to him openly about how I am feeling and he is worried, scared and heartbroken at the thoughts I will leave him. The thing is I so badly want to work on things and get back to feeling normal in my life. Like only about 2 months ago I was thinking about kids , but now I feel like if I got pregnant or even if he proposed it wouldn’t lift my mood.

I have a great circle of close friends who I have spoken to a number of them on how I feel. One of my friends had depression before and has given me a receipe for a herbal remedy which I have bought mixed up and started taking the weekend. But I suppose like any medication it may take a while to work if even at all.

I am considering going to a therapist perhaps, but I know they wont have the answers as such. So basically am just wondering has anyone gone through something similar, and does it sound like im depressed and therefore worrying about my relationship or the other way round maybe?

shellyboo

You definitely sound down, and since nothing negative's actually happened in your relationship, I'd be leaning towards you being a bit depressed. Best thing to do is go talk to your GP about how you've been feeling and get some advice from a professional.

I went through something very similar a few years back, and my relationship suffered massively from it, so much so that we broke up in the end. What I thought at the time was our relationship dying was actually me pulling away from my bf due to my depression, and the fact that I didn't understand what was happening to me/us kind of put the nail in the coffin, really.

Go to your GP - herbal remedies are all well and good, but you need to talk to a professional.

Nevyn

Only a medical professional can say if you are depressed or not, it certainly sounds like you are down or as they have the blues. Hernal remedies are not risk free and you should not be taking them with out medical guidance.

If you are having trouble coping then please do go see your dr.

RossFixxxed

OP as the above say really. But either way you should be treating these feelings you are having. Go to the GP there are numerous things it could be physical and or mental... For the sake of 50 quid it could make a HUGE difference.

Good luck, stay on and let us know how it's going. Are you in South Dublin by any chance? I can recommend a fantastic doctor, one of the best I've ever met for this sort of thing!

R

LegacyUser

As someone who knows and understands depression there is one tip I will give you here.
If you are depressed you dont make big decisions like breaking up with your parnter.
Go to a doctor find out if you have depression. Fix it. And at that point make your decision.

Peggypeg

Yeah I second the above. Make no decisions until the depression is addressed. Herbal remedies aren't going to work for depression. Get yourself to a doctor, you have a responsibility to yourself to get this sorted but you have a huge responsibility to your boyfriend, you've bought a house together and your leaving would destroy you both financially (ok I'm paraphrasing) but not only that, once the depression is sorted and you get back to normal you mightn't get a chance to make it up to your boyfriend I know if my boyfriend was considering breaking up with me and the cause could possably be depression I'd be dragging him to the doctor, reverse your situation in your mind, imagine he was considering breaking up with you because of depression but that he hadn't even gone to the doctor. You need to do the right thing here which is: GO TO THE DOCTOR.