Struggling through teenage years

LegacyUser

I'm afraid I'll have to go unregistered for this everybody.

Anyway, I am an 18 year-old male who is an OCD sufferer and have been on medication for most of my life. I take soroxat as my prescription and try to enjoy a similar social life to many people my age by going out and having a few drinks once in a while, which admittedly shouldn't be done while on this sort of medication. The main reason I do it is because I have a lot of trouble socialising with women, particularly ones that I know are interested in me and I am likewise in them. I just end up feeling awkward and don't know when the time is right or have the confidence to make a move on them. It is breaking my heart at this stage the amount of girls I'm crazy about and just don't know what to do when an opportunity with them arises, them therefore then losing interest in me as a result. After a situation like this, I usually go into a state depression due to the amount of alcohol previously consumed, combined with the heartache over the lost opportunity with the girl. My OCD also suffers drastically as a result at times like this, so it's a double-edged sword really.

Right now I am in one of the situations as described above. It is not easy for me juggling my illness right now, especially with the pressure of the Leaving Cert at the end of the year. I feel like I am alone among my friends and that I am the only person who has the problems that I have. I also appear to be a lot different to the person I actually am to many people, particularly in school, appearing to be overly-confident and sometimes arrogant at times in front of teachers in class and my fellow pupils. They would have no idea that I am suffering deep down and would probably think of me as the last person in the year with personal problems. I feel isolated in my thoughts and always feel inadequate next to many people and have barely any friends I can talk to in school in relation to these issues. It is an all-boys rugby school with a very competitive environment and an overall lack of emotion felt among the pupils, with most of the attention focused and preferential treatment given as a result of their sports skills.

I apologise if any of the above is hard to understand, but I have tried my best to convey most of my feelings in this post which is something I'm not too good at. I'd be more than appreciative of any words of support or any recommendations people have for me.

Thanks.

Kevster

Hi,

I'm 26 now and have OCD, but Iv'e had it from around the age of 18 too. I had to take medication just to lessen the symptoms of it. Are you officially diagnosed with OCD? If so, then I assume that you have been offered therapy for it? Once I was diagnosed, I was immediately 'handed over' to a therapist, and he/she helped me out a lot.

You can use OCD to your advantage though, by the way, and especially in an academic situation. For exaple, you can get into the habit of making sure that all of your work is done each night before you go to bed. OCD means being strict with yourself and doing things 'right'. If you can control it (which siounds ironic), then it can become advantageous. Im aware that this probably sounds a bit too far fetched right now for you though.

Kevin

cafecolour

Well, most of this is pretty cliche, but not inaccurate:

90% of your peers feel the same as you. Not OCD necessarily, but convinced they're the one struggling while everyone else has it together. They don't have it together. They might seem to in your eyes, and excel in one aspect, but most of them are a mess of insecurities and doubts as well.

And I know you are all about now, but you are in your last year of school. It gets much better after this. Once in uni - or whatever path you choose - you have much more freedom to seek out like-minded groups and situations, rather than the limited set in school.

Finally, make sure you are getting proper therapy besides just medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy is all the rage at the moment and could help a lot with your OCD. Some sort of group therapy might be useful as well, to help you connect with peers in similar situations.

LegacyUser

I have had OCD since I was a small child and was officially diagnosed at about the age of 9. I am well used to it at this stage and just accepted it when I was younger, but now it is really starting to bother me and it gets me down as I get older. My type of OCD is more bad thoughts in my mind than tidyness, etc.

Thanks for the replies by the way.