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Why are other people so hard to get on with?

  • 02-11-2009 6:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I dont dislike the company of people. I just prefer my own company. But I do like to be with people and I have friends.

    My problem is sometimes people can be so difficult to get on with. At the moment I am doing a F/T course with a friend from college. We would be quite friendly but not really best friends. Lately she has been disagreeing with almost everything I say or belittling me. I want an easy life, so I try to let it slide but I won't let someone walk all over me. This has been really getting to me. We are the only 2 girls in the course and while I would be friendly with others we sit together and would hang around together.

    It is just incidents like this that make me want to withdraw from people. It might seem minor to most people but this kind of thing really bothers me. Antagonism gets me down. Whenever I put myself out there and people are rude or mean, I just want to become a hermit and forget about people.


Comments

  • #2
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭santana75


    Yeah I understand were youre coming from. People can be difficult alright. Best thing to do is to learn how to deal with people like your "friend" but dont be their friend if you know what I mean. Dont hang out with people who are constantly disagreeing with you or putting you down. Its as simple as that. I know that this means you may have to go friendless for a while but really, people who'd put you down arent your friends in the first place.
    Have you read "Nasty people" by jay carter? You can get it on amazon and its a revelation in terms of teaching you how to deal with difficult individuals.
    But for the moment take this person up on her behaviour, dont let it slide when she puts you down. And yes that means a confrontation. I know you want a peaceful life without conflict or hassle, most people do. But there are people in the world who will try to dominate you and control you for whatever reasons of their own. And because of this you need to let them know that youre not going to allow yourself to be walked on. Dont introvert, dont be afraid of making a scene or whatever and dont be worried about this person not hanging out with you anymore. Its your fear of not being liked which is also contributing to this difficult situation. Youi cant please everybody and not everybody will like you. Thats life. The most important thing is to develop a liking for yourself so that ultimately it wont matter to you terribly if not everybody wants to be your friend.


  • #3
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    I learned something important in college with people like this. And this is ONLY MY OPINION btw.

    1) Tell the person and see if they improve.
    2) if not, tell them to get <expletive> and go to hell. Turn your back walk away and don't look back.

    The users and belittelers drag you down. The power you gain by choosing who to spend time with is great and you ain't gonna please everyone. That is just life. If she keeps it up she can hit the road.


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