Making a move on a friend

Elessar

Has anyone ever made a move on a friend? If it's someone you have known for a few years and are getting/have gotten some signals to say he/she is interested?

Has anyone done it? How did it work out? If someone was in this situation themselves, and couldn't get the other person out of their head (!), what would you say? If you work closely with this person and don't want to ruin anything.

barleybooley

Hello! Okay, making a move on a friend is always risky but it does work sometimes, like, that's how my other half and I got together. We were great mates for months, hung out every night and then one week he got it into his head that he liked me and decided to kiss me a few days later, that's nearly two years ago and I couldn't be happier. Obviously, it's not always the same but maybe do some subtle digging to see if you should chance it? If you really REALLY like this person and you think there might be a chance, go for it. Best of luck!

kev_s88

speaking from personal experience, no matter how much you like a good friend, NEVER do anything about it....yeh it may work out for a while and they may be great times...but the chances of anything going wrong are just too big to risk it. the moment that something goes wrong it'll ruin everything you ever had as friends...and if you're as good friends as you say then you'll always see eachother and i just dont think its worth it...some people say "its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"...but when it comes to friends i think its complete bull****!!! stay away if you can!

ziedth

with respect i disagree kev, I say go for it, IMO the best thing to do is talk to her about it and outfront ask does she think anything is there?

If you ask me people should be flattered if somone likes them. Jesus its not a bad thing.

Be warned though i did try it on with a good friend in my teens and it ruined the friendship., But do i miss her as a friend? Yes. Do I regret telling her? Not for a second. I'm happilty engaged now and life moves on.

Best of luck.

Elessar

Thanks for the responses. To be honest, I actually agree with kev, sometimes the risk is just too great. Sometimes you just have to fight your feelings and get on with things.

G-Money

It depends really on how good a friend you are with this person. Worse case scenario is that you end up not being able to hang out anymore. Would that really be so unbearable? I mean I have a few close friends and lots of others I've sort of picked up along the way. I'm friends with a few girls but to be honest, if I was into them, losing them as a friend would be the last thing on my mind. For me I'd rather take the chance and damn the consequences.

Maybe I'm just not that close to my female friends so I'd not really worry about risking a friendship if I liked them. In fact there was a girl I was friends with and I liked and I made a move and got shot down. To be honest, we didn't speak for about 6 months afterwards and to be blunt, I was fed up that I got shot down but I didn't lose any sleep over not being in contact with her.

Anyway it's up to you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Holda

Stop worrying about ruining the friendship, or working too closely with them (unless of course it's frowned upon in work, and then you have a whole other problem) it's all nonsense. I did that for well over a year, saying that I was afraid things wouldn't go well and that I would make everything awkward between us. That year was hellish, and I agonised and agonised over my decision for a long time. Friends were telling me I was an idiot and I felt terrible every time I saw him, worrying about my decision and regretting it. Finally I got out of my own way and acted on what I felt. I'll never regret it. If you feel a spark between you and think they feel it too, act on it. I don't mean confess your undying love, but let them know you're interested.

Elessar

Holda wrote: »

Stop worrying about ruining the friendship, or working too closely with them (unless of course it's frowned upon in work, and then you have a whole other problem) it's all nonsense. I did that for well over a year, saying that I was afraid things wouldn't go well and that I would make everything awkward between us. That year was hellish, and I agonised and agonised over my decision for a long time. Friends were telling me I was an idiot and I felt terrible every time I saw him, worrying about my decision and regretting it. Finally I got out of my own way and acted on what I felt. I'll never regret it. If you feel a spark between you and think they feel it too, act on it. I don't mean confess your undying love, but let them know you're interested.

With all due respect, this is a gross oversimplification. Simply because you are a woman. I do not know a man on this earth who will reject an attractive woman making an advance on him. You never really had a risk in the first place. I am a man and it's quite different.

Liam Byrne

Elessar wrote: »

I do not know a man on this earth who will reject an attractive woman making an advance on him.

Wha' ???

1) Married / otherwise spoken for
2) Slapper
3) Headwrecker
4) Money-mad
5) Pissed out of her tree
6) Rude and ignorant
7) No spark or "xtra-factor"
8) Away with the fairies
9) Completely different interests

And those are just off the top of my head!