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How much should I spend on a wedding present?

  • 30-10-2009 11:00am
    #1
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭


    I don't know if this is the right thread for this query. I've been asked to the evening part of a wedding by an acquaintance. However I probably won't go because I already have other plans in the pipes for that weekend and the wedding is about 50 miles from me. She invited me on my own and I don't know that many people who will be there and most will be in couples anyway. TBH I don't really want to go. My financial situation isn't great at the moment and if I went I'd have to either not drink and drive the 50 miles home or pay for a hotel.

    So I was thinking of politely refusing the invite and sending a gift voucher for a present. How much should I spend on the gift voucher?


Comments

  • #2
    Khannie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,485 ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    There's a weddings and marriage forum here.

    You're not getting the meal or whatever, so you're not costing the couple anything, and there's only one of you. I'd say 50 euro, or less, depending on how much you have like. Either that, or get them an actual gift, then it removes the issue of cost.


  • #3
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Thanks. I'd get them a gift only I have no way of giving it to them before the wedding. Would it be rude just to refuse the invite and bring them the gift later when they're all cosy in their new house?


    And how do I move the thread to the weddings forum?


  • #4
    funnyname
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,786 ✭✭✭funnyname


    You're not going so you don't have to get a present, she's not a friend so why should you put yourself under pressure to get a present. Even if you were to go a fiddler's invite doesn't require a present.


  • #5
    NothingMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    You were only invited to the afters, and you're not even going to that. I'm sure they wouldn't expect aany gift, and unless they were family or a really close friend I wouldn't get them anything.

    They'll have plenty of gifts from everyone else and with all that's going on, they won't even consider why they didn't recieve a gift from non attenders.


  • #6
    Khannie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,485 ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    NothingMan wrote: »
    You were only invited to the afters

    Oh! I missed this bit. Yeah, I wouldn't bother. Maybe some kind of token gift later down the line.


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  • #7
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Emme wrote: »
    Would it be rude just to refuse the invite and bring them the gift later when they're all cosy in their new house?

    That's what I'd do. Maybe bring them a bottle of bubbly or something.


  • #8
    misswex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 745 ✭✭✭misswex


    Yeah I say you shouldn't have to send them anything. Just visit them when they are settled into their new home with a nice gift then. I'm sure they would be delighted with that.


  • #9
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Thanks for the advice. I'll send her a nice card saying thanks for the invite but it's a bad time for me and get something small later for when I see her again. I feel bad about not wanting to go but 50 miles is a long way to go to the afters of a wedding particularly when the invite doesn't give you the option of bringing a friend. That annoyed me more than anything else. If I'd been given the option of bringing a friend I might have persuaded someone to come along but there's no way I'm going to the afters of a wedding on my own.


  • #10
    wantolose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 64 ✭✭wantolose


    Thats a pain in the ass getting invited to the afters on your own:eek:, when we got married it was all or nothing, and anybody that was single and invited had the option of bringinng somebody. and guess what some people came to the whole day and stuffed there faces and didnt give us anything.... but hey its not about the presents its about getting married and living happliy ever after!:D:p


  • #11
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Moved from TLL as per OP.

    Maple.


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  • #12
    How Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    OP, if I were in your position I would send a regrets card and nothing else.

    I really don't think there is any need to give any sort of gift when refusing an invitation whether it's the full thing or the evening part.

    Inviting you on your own is downright rude. It costs them nothing to invite you plus guest.

    Definitely don't send any sort of gift.


  • #13
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Thanks for the advice. I didn't go. The invite said RSVP and gave a phone number but no address. I rang the number a few times and got an answering machine every time so left a message with an apology about not being able to go and we could catch up after blah blah blah. If she gets back to me and arranges to meet up again I'll get her a small present. If not well...:rolleyes:


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