Living Abroad - Want to come home

LegacyUser

Hi I Recently moved abroad for a year a 2 months ago, having had some bad luck in last few years decided it would be good for a new start, get to travel etc etc ..now I think that that this is not for me its not who I am, I am Irish and love everything about Living in Ireland I have the opportunity to come back but am worried that peole may think I'm a failure or that it could impact my career , I believe that I would be a lot happier in myself in Ireland ...Its all about doing what makes you happy right???

mjg

Person 1234 wrote: »

I believe that I would be a lot happier in myself in Ireland ...Its all about doing what makes you happy right???

+1000

Anyone that might think you're a failure is hardly someone that you should worry about, they will not be a real friend or close familly member. These people would probably be afraid to move out of Ireland in the first place, that's a huge change to make.

If it has the possibility to affect your career, that's something only you can make a decision on I'm afraid. Whatever you think will happen careerwise though, if you're unhappy, you're unhappy, full stop and you should do whatever you need to do to be happy again.

You could look at living somewhere else in Ireland? I know jobs are tough at the moment but it might be something to consider if you felt that you were in a rut or whatever before you left.

Anyway, best of luck with your decision. The only right decision is the one that makes you happy.

Dizzyblonde

This is more common than you'd think, and I think it takes more courage to come home than to stay so I'd see it as a positive.
You have to do what makes you happy.

krudler

If you're unhappy and want to come back make sure its for the right reasons and not just because it seems the grass is greener, there are a lot of people who would kill to be able to move abroad for new oppurtunies over here, myself included, but cant, I cant wait to get out of this country

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP....I myself moved abroad 2 months ago on me own and it hasn´t been the easeiest transition (I´m in Spain)...it´s taken me a while to get enough hours teaching English to pay my rent and be able to afford more than just pasta and sauce for my dinner. It´s also taken me a while to meet people I get along well with and not just people I attached myself to initially who I didn´t really have much in common with and it´s taken me a while to pick up more of the local lingo to not feel completely isolated wherever I go. 2 months is not really long enough to decide if you´ve made the right decision...like yourself, there´s been times I wanted to pack it in and come home and before I left, I posted up here about my concerns over the fact that if it DIDN´T work out, I´d have to come home and face the music. Like yourself I was worried what people would think...I´m 29, I´m single and most of my female friend are settling down now...I felt like I was making a statement by moving here...a bit of a "feck you" to convention and if it didn´t work out, I would´ve felt like a bit of an eejit.

I would personally advice you to give it a few more months or even ´till Christmas. It´s always tricky moving to a different country and in my experience it´s always taken at least 3 months to get in some way settled. Like yourself I´m Irish and I´m very proud of my country and I love most things about the place...but I´ll be honest with you, I love it more when Ï´m NOT living there. In facteven before I read your message I was sitting here getting all sentimental over Irish music and I´ve just listened to The Frank and Walters, Kila, The Chieftans, Sultans of Ping, The Dubliners, Sinead O´Connor, 2 Tourism Ireland ads and the history of Halloween with it´s Irish roots. I don´t I´d be dong the same if I was living at home.

Are you sure this is not a case of the grass is greener? Ireland IS great regardless of what people say but it´ll always be there and you can at least ride it out ´till the economy improves. The fact of the matter is our economy is still in a bad way and you´d be very limited in your choices of jobs...you might just have to take whatever is offered to you AND it´s Winter and the weather is terrible at the minute...maybe hang on ´till Spring?

Living in a different country doesn´t make you any less Irish or any less proud of where you´re from (as I said, in my case it makes me MORE proud) but it gives you the opportunity to experience brand new experiences and meet people you´d never get the chance to do at home....we only have one life and if you´ve no ties to anywhere, I´d enjoy that freedom while you have the opportunity. Make sure you´re not just having a bad day or a bad week....give it a while longer.

Porkpie

^^ Excellent advice.

You might regret it if you come home so early. I went on a work posting a few years ago to Switzerland. After 15 months I wasn't enjoying it so I decided to come home. But I always said before I moved there that even if I hated it I'd give it a full year before making any decision to return home. I've never regretted this decision as I was lonely and miserable over there.

My point is, definitely come home if you're hating it and screw anyone who doesn't approve. This is your life, you and only you should be in control of your future. At the same time, 2 months is way too soon to give it up. The way I see it, you can handle anything for just a few months - it's only a drop in the ocean of your life. I know plenty of people who loved living abroad but the first few months were always the hardest. Only you can set a deadline but I'd say anything less than 6 months just isn't giving the place a chance.

Is it just the place you're living in? I'd doubt the problem is that straight forward. Could you elaborate some more?

Best of luck anyway.

lilirish

OP would you might telling us what country you are in? Are there cultural issues such as language/customs which are making things more difficult for you?

I agree that you should do what makes you happy but I also think that you should give it a few more months. I have moved from Ireland to live in Spain and the UK on different occasions and definately found the first couple of months the hardest. Then I found a bunch of people I truly clicked with and have never looked back.

What kind of things have you been doing to help integrate locally? What are your wrok peeps like? I found some times that not wanting to be somewhere acts as a wall to progress. If you put up that wall and think "I dont want to be here, I'm going to move home anyway so why should I make an effort" then thats it, your not gonna move forward. I dont mean it in a harsh way and correct me if I'm wrong as you have made every effort to meet and find new friends! Take everyday as it come and have a positive attitude to the experience.

Think about the reasons you left Ireland in the first place.

I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you do but please give it some time.

Take care x

LegacyUser

Hi Op, I've been in your position before.

I did alot of travelling over the years but there was one Asian country that I was really uncomfortable in.

I moved back after four months. This experience thought me that nobody actually cares what another person does for more than five minutes. Your friends family & acquaintances might raise an eyebrow but that will be over in a nanosecond because everyone is so busy with their own stuff.

On the other hand, at month 3, just after I booked my return ticket, I started to really enjoy where I was.... and could easily have stayed longer had I not already booked the ticket. So, maybe you should try to give it a little bit more time. But don't worry about what anyone thinks.

Muggy Dev

Hi O.P.

Two months is way to short a period of time to make a correct decision along the lines you suggest imo.It takes time to build a new life in a foreign country but with (new)friends and employment,the journey can be a most enriching life experience.

I made the move myself to Spain three years ago.The first year was tough but now........? I'd never go back.

One tip though....if the actual town or city you are staying in is not particularly to your liking then move.My first town was pretty bad.I moved seven and a half miles....then everything started to make sense.

Good luck!