Mad about her

LegacyUser

Ok here goes, I've got no one else to talk to about this, lol.

Theres a girl at work, I've known her for about two years but only very recently got talking to her. I haven't fallen for a girl in a very long time so this comes as a shock. The big issue, is that she is 9 years older. I'm a student and she just works, all the time and I only see her once a week. I am literally thinking about her all day every day for the last two weeks and I come straight on to chat when I get home as she might be there. Last night we spoke for about 3 hours, and somewhere in between I managed to tell her that I had some feelings for her. Her reaction was understanding (maybe she seen it coming). But she also said that go to sleep and wake up tomorrow with a fresh mind (as if I wasn't thinking straight). So, lol, I've woken up and I'm feeling the same. I don't really know what I want here, but its driving me mad. Is 9 years too much? Either way, does she feel the same to me? What should I do?

LegacyUser

Lol help, I'm going out of my mind. I can hardly eat even. How can I move on?

enviro

madagai wrote: »

Lol help, I'm going out of my mind. I can hardly eat even. How can I move on?

Ask her out and be done with it, good luck.

Colonel_McCoy

Bust a move, ask her for a drink. if she says no at least you will know!

opinion guy

bitofadbice wrote: »

The big issue, is that she is 9 years older. I'm a student and she just works, all the time and I only see her once a week.

i think you being a student and her workign is probably as much of an issue as the age difference to be honest

Last night we spoke for about 3 hours, and somewhere in between I managed to tell her that I had some feelings for her. Her reaction was understanding (maybe she seen it coming). But she also said that go to sleep and wake up tomorrow with a fresh mind (as if I wasn't thinking straight).

Don't you think she's already given you your answer ?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replied people. Just giving an update.

She asked me to go to an event and support her, which I did, on Friday night.

To make a long story short (the event was ****, lol) we ended up in the bar till the early hours cuddled up and just drinking together. Was nice actually.

Because it was so late she put me up in her house. She put me on the armchair and she slept on the sofa, for some reason, even though she told me her boyfriend was upstairs. Anyway, woke up in the same place, my hand holding hers. We got up and sat in the kitchen for about 4 hours talking, drinking coffee and enjoying the weather coming in the door.

For the first two hours it was great, laughing and joking and enjoying that next morning tipsy half drunk mood. She then changed in no time to being really down about the fact that her boyfriend must have walked in and seen her on the couch and me on the armchair...

Although nothing happened it does look bad. She was in work today and we spoke, and she brought up the subject first (I don't want to be negative the whole time). She said she tried to talk to him and he ignored her. What I'm trying to say is that she is just really down (about a couple of other things too). Because shes down, I'm down too and I'm worried that maybe I don't have a role to play. I'm worried that, although I'm not sure what she thinks of her boyfriend (of 5 years), I don't want to just destroy it. Am I going too deep? Would it be a bad idea to suggest meeting up? At the end of the day we are allowed to be freinds? I'm starting to think I love this girl... While all this is happening I feel down in general, if not depressed and I haven't eaten properly in about 5 days.

Thanks for reading people, I do appreciate this. I haven't really anyone to talk to about this.

opinion guy

opinion guy wrote: »

i think you being a student and her workign is probably as much of an issue as the age difference to be honest

No scratch that. I think her having a boyfriend is a much bigger problem than either age or student status. You didn't tell us that at the start.

Walk away. This has painful drama written all over it. If she becomes single then thats different, but until then I'd keep your distance. don't be rude thou.

LegacyUser

opinion guy wrote: »

No scratch that. I think her having a boyfriend is a much bigger problem than either age or student status. You didn't tell us that at the start.

Walk away. This has painful drama written all over it. If she becomes single then thats different, but until then I'd keep your distance. don't be rude thou.

First of all I was told she didnt have one. Second, she finally admitted she did. And only the other night did I find out it was of 5 years...

I'll be honest and I don't want to try speculate but I think the only reason shes with him is because it suits.. I was told she feels nothing for him and is just with him because thats the way it is.

So I should get away from her? That would hurt

opinion guy

thanksopiniong wrote: »

First of all I was told she didnt have one. Second, she finally admitted she did. And only the other night did I find out it was of 5 years...

WOAH thats major major dose of the crazies right there. Shes lied to you. Shes betraying his trust. Danger Will Robinson, Danger!!!!

I'll be honest and I don't want to try speculate but I think the only reason shes with him is because it suits.. I was told she feels nothing for him and is just with him because thats the way it is.

right stop specualting. it doesn't matter what the reason is. She with a guy 5 years btu says she feels nothing for him, denies she's even got a boyfriend etc etc. She's F**KING MENTAL. Thats the reason and all you need to know. I also believe what she said about feeling nothing for him is a flat out lie.

So I should get away from her? That would hurt

Run my friend. Run like the wind and don't look back. Look she may very well have her problems, but that doesn't excuse the way she is acting. And more than that - you can't help her with her problems.


Edit: You seem like a decent sort of guy. I hope you find someone nice. I just don't think this person is the person for you, nor is she someone nice

LegacyUser

I'm back again.

I feel like I'm at the end of my wits. I think I'm depressed. I haven't eaten, I can't sleep right, I'm waking up nearly every two hours throughout the night. I feel sick when I try to eat breakfast.

When I get to college (today I just didn't go) I sit in class and can't stop thinking about this girl. The whole thing is absolutely killing me. I have no interest in anything, I ignore phonecalls and don't reply to emails and as a result my reputation will suffer for this.

This morning I got up at 5.30am, had a slice of bread, a smoke, and then told my mother I was going back to bed and missing college. She asked me was I ok and there was tears in her eyes. She doesn't know whats wrong with me and my dad is trying to analyse as well.

Yesterday my freind told me I looked like a broken man. I told him everything but he doesn't really understand and I don't blame him (thats just him).


I have doubt I'm depressed. I don't know what I should do now. Should I go to the doctor? Where the hell will I get money from I wonder..

Will a doctor even help?

I've been sitting at the PC all day and sometimes I get highs that last about a minute, telling myself cop on this is only temporary. But for any other time, I just feel like crying, something I can't do anymore, surprisingly. Any ideas?

Sorry to be resurrecting what was once a simple thread. When I first started this thread, I guess it wasn't bad. At least it was positive, but now its just plain bad. My mind is ****ed.

Thanks everyone

LegacyUser

Just to add..

I could way off the mark here but if you read above i was drinking with her the other night, friday night. I reckon... that the drink has a big responsibility for the way I am feeling now..

Although i was really happy, chatting away to her on the morning after, I think in the days after, including right now, I feel deathly.

if this is the case I would really need to consider whether I should drink again...

extrinzic

Look man, walk away. You think you feel bad now, believe me, you are going to feel a whole lot worse about this if you continue. Whatever her issues are, they are issues for an older person. She has built a life with her BF, and if she aint happy that's her problem. She may well use you for a bit of attention. I seriously doubt she sees, or will see, any future between you two. Don't take this too hard though. She probably has all kinds of reasons why she thinks she must live the life she lives, you are young and free. Don't sell yourself short and be used for attention.

opinion guy

OP sorry I somehow missed your post earlier.

Hmm not sleeping, not eating, not enjoying class or things you normally enjoy, feeling like crying. These are all symptoms of depression. But it all seems like an overreaction to this situation. Can I ask - do you have any other sources of stress, any other problems on your mind ?

Yes I would think go to the doctor so that he can properly assess you for depression. But even if he doesn't think its depression, I think it could be useful for you to speak to a councillor. As regards money - does your college have a GP service attached. Usually that's free. And most colleges also have a councilling service thats free too. Find out and make use of it.

What about talking to your folks ? They are clearly worried. Are they good listeners - do you think it might help to talk to them? I'm not saying you should or should not because everyones parents are different. But it is something to consider and you'll have to judge for yourself how if they might be useful listeners or not.


Yes DEFINITELY give up drink for the moment. It is a depressant. Personally I can experience fairly strong drink induced depression sometimes.


As regards this girl. she is REALLY bad for you. Especially right now. You need to sort yourself out and forget about her (TRUST ME SHE IS ONLY LOOKING AFTER HERSELF AND IS NOT THINKING ABOUT YOUR NEEDS IN ANY WAY). In any case I suspect there is more behind this than just the situation with this girl.

I do think you should go to GP. if money is an issue and your college does not have a free gp service i'm sure your folks will give you money given the circumstances