Let's write a story

Slow Show

I thought the three-letter story thread had too much limitations ...so how about for this one there are no limitations - write how much or how little you want and we'll see how off course the story goes...
So I'll start it, and just add as you go along....this is from one of my English essays, if you're wondering!

It was a cold dark night. A gentle drizzle fell, pattering quietly on windows, accompanied by a strong wind that rattled the windowpanes, further abusing them and insulting the gentle drizzle, comparing its strength to the pitiful precipitation.
Inside a well-built house, blissfully unaware of the struggles of the elements....

Green Giant

...Mike was making himself comfortable in the living room. A can of Bud in his left hand, the remote control in his right, he lapped up the cosiness of his Bord na Mona fire and stuck on a good oul war film! ...

Slow Show

All was well. Life was pretty good for Mike. He had a nice job where he got paid a lot for doing little, and had a lot of time to himself. But Mike had a problem...

dennyire

...he was really a woman. Nobody except his maternal grandmother knew of his dark secret, and hiding it was becoming a problem.

Little did he/she know but shortly......

Slow Show

his worst fears would become reality when...

dennyire

he attended the grand opening of the new local parish hall, and fell into the fountain outside.

Hauled out by muscular men they..........

Slow Show

remarked what small hands he had compared to them and they began to question him. Flustered, he

dennyire

showed them the little bush he had hidden.........

Slow Show

They were shocked and frankly a little disturbed, so they told him where to shove his bush and

dennyire

as much as he /she tried...it was never going to fit,,,so calling in a person who was suppssed to be an expert .. he /she asked are you a gynogologist to which they replied.....dont know but i'll have alook...

Slow Show

she took a quick look and quickly said, 'no, I'm not a gyno' which didn't do much for his/her confidence. He asked her what he/she really was to which she replied, 'a woman...sort of' so he/she decided to go as simply 'she' and decided to give up war films and a can of bud and go off and do whatever it is women do...

orourkeda

So your man had to go off and buy tiles to do up the bathroom. This was not good news. His curry was getting cold. It was time for justice

dennyire

so...exploding with rage.....he / she says.....im off to to the thai massage parlour which has been nrelocated to to number 5 the strandview in Leitrim, and inhabited by people who everyone assumed died in the last century, but unkknownts to anyone....

Slow Show

they were actually just hiding in the back room and coming out at night to steal so they could get a good deal out of life assurance and the like. So he/she...well, she now according to the gyno, found these people and was outraged and doing her best to act ladylike stamped her foot and demanded that they leave because she needed to get her massage done and they were only in the way

dennyire

so she....as he /she is mow known...went full fligjtn into the unknown,,she had two choices....buy her veg from LIDL....or succume to the amarous advances of the latvian plumber whose granny knew her great aunt or............

ciaeim

and that is the END

dennyire

but it cant end until we see if the latvian plumbèr has any waterworks problems.... maybe his great aunt....

Slow Show

Yeah, it's not over yet...

so she....as he /she is mow known...went full fligjtn into the unknown,,she had two choices....buy her veg from LIDL....or succume to the amarous advances of the latvian plumber whose granny knew her great aunt or............

whatever other distant relatives she had...she decided to just go and buy her veg from LIDL but the carrots were a bit pale so she decided it was a sign and went to see the latvian plumber....

Green Giant

...only it turned out he was on a week's leave and had gone home to Latvia, so she simply told the husband to get off his arse and fix her leaky toilet...

wexgreen

... which had been clogged with spaghetti from the previous nights antics. Nonetheless there was one other issue to be seen to and it involved doctor jameson from down the road...

Deki

Who was in possession of a very large vegetable garden. His carrots were huge and brightly orange, with immense leafy green tops. Oh how she envied him his luscious carrots.
She was intent upon finding his secret to success at carrot growing. So early one blue-skied morning off she went to find out.

Harpic

Having spent ages trying to reverse her SUV out of her driveway,she eventually sped off scraping a few cars on the road whilst trying to put her makeup on and talk on the mobile,she found the house where

Deki

Dr Jameson of the coveted carrots resided. As she exited her vehicle she caught her stocking on the corner of the door causing a long ladder. "Darn!" she said, "First time I'm wearing them !" She saw, upon examination, there was no hope for the hosiery as they were sadly ruined. So, with a sigh, she marched to the door of Dr. Jameson and rang the bell.

dennyire

Dr. Jameson saw the long ladder and climbed up it, somehow arriving in a cold damp room.

The door slammed shut behind him, and he could see no way out.
Feeling around, he came upon an apple and cut it in half.
As two halves make a whole , he was able to climb out through it.
Looking down he saw the ladder had gone, but as the rain was now coming down in sheets, he tied the sheets together and climbed down them

Deki

Running smack dab into the woman from down the road who'd been eyeing his enormous carrots.
She at once siezed the opportunity to badger him as to his technique in growing the carrots.
Dr Jameson tried to explain that the size of the carrots was quite by accident, but she wouldn't believe him. I am afraid Dr. J lost his patience at that point and knocked her over the head with his umbrella.