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Thought college would be better

  • 27-10-2009 4:35pm
    #1
    gayguy2009
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 70 ✭✭


    Hey guys, just want to know if anyone feels the same way about college as I do? I'm talkin about the social aspect. I find it hard to get used to the big groups in college I kind of find it daunting since i came from a small school. I have made a couple of friends so far, but im not as close to them as i would be my mates from school. I look around at some people in college and they have loadsa mates already I really miss my old friends and its so hard to get used to college. I even joined some socs but i dont be in the mood to go after long days of college. I think I over estimated how easy it was to make friends. I'm in my 5th week of college and still dont know that much people.


Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Don't give up that quickly, and don't worry about comparing yourself to other folks. And you're not going to be on the same level as mates from school after only 5 weeks.

    Big groups start first year but tend to break up into smaller ones over time. Just hang out and be friendly with them. Say hi and make small talk with everyone you recognize, don't worry about what they think of you. Arrive a few minutes early to class and talk to the person sitting next to you.

    Pick a soc or two you feel you click with the best, and make appearances as those. It's often a mindset of whether you're up for it or not. Make yourself go to things, as the saying goes "Half of life is just showing up."

    It took a long time for me to make close mates at university - partly shyness, partly a few school friends who I kept hanging out with, and partly way too much time playing games on my computer. You make a lot of acquaintances and often the first few friends aren't necessarily the ones you keep. By now though, I'd say I have more close mates from uni than I do from school.


  • #3
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    OP, give it a chance. Five weeks is nothing. It is daunting, but you'll find things start to come together.


  • #4
    Sir Ophiuchus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Sir Ophiuchus


    The best thing about college is that it's entirely acceptable to start conversations with total strangers, as you're all in the same boat.

    See someone reading a book you love? Comment on it and start a chat.

    Heading to the Luas with someone you know from rooms/class? Start a chat.

    Sitting in class beside someone you don't know? Start a chat. After the lecture, of course, unless you like everyone glaring at you.

    It does require a shift in thinking, but it makes such a difference to the people you know and your social life. Of course not everyone you chat to randomly will become great friends with you ... but in my experience, some will, and far more than you'd think.


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