Small Inconvenience's

spoofilyj

So I had my motorcycle stolen a while back and have been having a discussion with the lads in work about what curse I'd like (If it was possible)
to place on the person/people who Stole it.

So I came up with. Reoccuring Constant Small Inconveniences.
I'm now compiling a list of these annoyances and would love some interesting contributions.

I came up with this list as I dont wish any serious harm on anyone but want these people to suffer mildly for nicking my bike. I dont know makes me feel better anyway...

So some so far are.

Getting out of bed and standing on an upturned plug.
The toaster never at the right setting so toast is either not toasted or burned black.
Missing the bowl while taking a pee.
Getting a paper cut.
Arriving at the bus stop just having missed the bus. Always.
Forgetting an umbrella on a rainy day.
No hot water for a shower.
Randomly stubbing you toe.
Constant sneezing. For no particular reason.

Had loads more but my brain has stopped working....

MrMicra

arthritis in your right hand

powerfade

The battery dying on ones mobile phone at the most inopportune moments.....

Archeron

All of their skin turning to liquid and sliding off just as they meet the woman of their dreams.

Latchy

Being stuck in traffic for 1 hr 45 minutes

Ross_Mahon

Getting their bike robbed

NothingMan

No clean mugs left for your morning tea/coffee.

Running out of home heating oil on a friday evening in November!

Syphilis! (Maybe a bit more than minor, but he deserves it).

Todd Gack

Hiccups.

**Timbuk2**

There's no toilet roll but you want to take a shít.

stovelid

spoofilyj wrote: »

Getting out of bed and standing on an upturned plug.
The toaster never at the right setting so toast is either not toasted or burned black.
Missing the bowl while taking a pee.
Getting a paper cut.
Arriving at the bus stop just having missed the bus. Always.
Forgetting an umbrella on a rainy day.
No hot water for a shower.
Randomly stubbing you toe.
Constant sneezing. For no particular reason.
ng....

Humming that shit tune by Alanis Morissette all day.

SEPT 23 1989

Erectile Dysfunction

MagicMarker

Being one number away from winning the jackpot

Aldebaran

Having a weird smell in your home and never discovering the source.

NothingMan

MagicMarker wrote: »

Being one number away from winning the jackpot

Wouldn't you still get a fair bit of cash for that though! That's hardly a punishment!

NothingMan

Aldebaran wrote: »

Having a weird smell in your house and never discovering the source.

That is annoying, there's a very weird smell of urea from a corner in my little granny flat. I thought it was the couch and replaced it, but it's still there.

I'm moving out now, so it's my sisters problem! hahaha.

spoofilyj

MagicMarker wrote: »

Being one number away from winning the jackpot

I like it.

The more recurring minor inconveniences that happen the more he will get depressed and eventually end it all... Or not.. I'm not that evil...

MagicMarker

Anytime he searches for something he could accidentally find his ma's vibrator.

Borneo Fnctn

Every time he takes a piss he forgets about the last dribble of wee. Dripping down the inside leg of his trouser every time.

Perpetually dry mouth and wet interbuttock area.

Saibh

Flat tyre everytime he uses his car/motorbike/bicycle and he can never figure out why it keeps happening.

bluto63

Everytime he opens up a can, it always fizzes up

Ciaran187

Shoe laces snapping when he's late for work
Constant slow punctures
Constant red lights
Wasps being attracted to him (I have this problem)
A draught in his house so the bedroom door constantly clicks when he's trying to sleep.
Big spiders in his bedroom
Light bulbs constantly blowing
Birds pecking his bins (when they're still in his garden)
Birds crapping on his car (or your bike)
Damp in his house
Damp in his pants
Lime scale in his shower head (causing water to spray random directions at low pressure)
Shampoo in his eyes
Piles
Running out of milk
Running out of underwear

I'm a nice person really!

genericguy

the only real inconvenience for me is dublin bus.

I hate you, dublin bus, and your cnutish drivers who are good for nothing but getting thick with members of the public.

jester77

Too much pressure in the tap causing water to spray over his crotch area every time he washes his hands

DarkJager

spoofilyj wrote: »

So I had my motorcycle stolen a while back and have been having a discussion with the lads in work about what curse I'd like (If it was possible)
to place on the person/people who Stole it.

So I came up with. Reoccuring Constant Small Inconveniences.
I'm now compiling a list of these annoyances and would love some interesting contributions.

I came up with this list as I dont wish any serious harm on anyone but want these people to suffer mildly for nicking my bike. I dont know makes me feel better anyway...

So some so far are.

Getting out of bed and standing on an upturned plug.
The toaster never at the right setting so toast is either not toasted or burned black.
Missing the bowl while taking a pee.
Getting a paper cut.
Arriving at the bus stop just having missed the bus. Always.
Forgetting an umbrella on a rainy day.
No hot water for a shower.
Randomly stubbing you toe.
Constant sneezing. For no particular reason.

Had loads more but my brain has stopped working....

I don't know about you, but if some **** stole something I'd payed a few grand for, I'd be wishing and praying for him to collide with something very hard, very fast and preferrably detaching a few of his limbs in the process.

Osgoodisgood

the complete inability to decide when to use an apostrophe

The Monkey Pump

Having a penis so big that you pass out due to loss of blood every time you get an erection.

That, or having a baby, both are equally inconvenient.

NothingMan

To always first push on a pull door or pull on a push door, regardless of the signage.

pickarooney

Get called by one of those radio shows and not know the magic number to win a cash prize
Keep waking up just as he's about to get it on with Megan Fox in his dreams
Never be sure if the taste of fish is completely gone from the lasagne tin (I had this once, nightmare)
Food moths

spoofilyj

DarkJager wrote: »

I don't know about you, but if some **** stole something I'd payed a few grand for, I'd be wishing and praying for him to collide with something very hard, very fast and preferrably detaching a few of his limbs in the process.

I completely see your point but I'm having a really wierd year (totaled my car and walked away with only 18 stitches in my head, lost my job got loads of money and then got a new job the next week now in Abu-Dhabi missing the crap Irish weather) and I just cant wish for serious harm to come to someome.
Also I am a bit sadistic in so far as the build up of small things constantly happening are a bigger punishment in the long run rather than sudden accidents.

I'm getting a new bike anyway once I get home to Dublin from working in Abu-Dhabi so I have that to look forward too. And two very big locks anchored to the footpath.

Couple more!
Never being allowed into clubs by the bouncers
Always steping in dog crap.

davyjose

spoofilyj wrote: »

Arriving at the bus stop just having missed the bus. Always.

They can just ride their shiny new Motorbike instead...

davyjose

The urgent rush of flatulence whenever he talks to a pretty girl, which he tries to suppress with a squeeze of his sphincter, but emerges as a squeaky trumpetty sound.

This, over time, will destroy his self esteem and confidence, and he'll spend the rest of his days holed up in a bedsit eating beans from a tin and masturbating tearfully over pictures of his ex.

The_B_Man

developing an allergy to beer.

sleep apnea.

turn into a ghey.

always get static shocks from pushing shopping trolleys.

pens always wasting.

jock itch.

finding boards and getting so addicted, they lose all attachment to their social life and die lonely....with 50000+ posts and being a mod of PI and AH.