Distancing himself from me

purple17

Ok im posting this as a last resort im fed up to death of my bf lately. Everything's always been cool wit us, we've never really had a fight, been goin out for about 11mths now and always have a good laugh n get on great when we meet up. Lately over the past 2/3 weeks he's been distancing himself from me. Usually we talk every day either mail, phone or text. Lately ive been finding it's me that's contacting him a lot and he's not bothering unless i text him 2 ask what's up. If i dont make contact we cud go a couple of days without talking. Then i find when we meet up we've kind of drifted apart a little bit.

I really dont want to be a nag and ive been putting off asking him why he's not making an effort lately - for the simple reason that i want him contacting me because he wants to not so i wont give him a hard time!!

How do i bring this up without seeming needy? And i dont really expect him 2 tell me that he's getting bored with me or couldnt be bothered anymore! Im not imagining it, he is busy in work but he has no excuse after work other than he's playing his playstation or doing sports! I really feel like im making excuses for him in my head as to why he not making an effort lately.
I am starting to think he's getting bored wit the relationship as im his longest relationship so not sure if it's getting a bit old for him now. Sud i just leave him be and b happy wit the ways tings are as i really do want 2 b wit him but ive always prided myself on being a cool gf n easy going! I dont want to ruin things by putting it in his head that im giving him hassle n asking 4 a lot of his time.
Arrrggghh head melted!!

yermandan

The quick answer is to tell him exactly what you've written here. He might feel that the relationship is not for him or there might be something he isnt telling you. Either way you'll never know until you sit down and have a candid and open talk with him.

Bringing something like this up is not easy because of the discomfort you feel at appearing needy. But to be honest if you want the relationship to continue and go on from strength to strength from this point, then the minimum requirement is that you can both sit down and be open and honest without fearing a lash-back from each other.

Talk, talk , talk until you are both clear about what is going on.

Worst case scenario for you = he wants to break-up

Best case scenario for you = There is an issue that needs discussing and you can both move on happily and with more trust and openness

Best of luck

purple17

thanks for your reply and i will take into account what u've said. i do need to bring it up with him but wasnt sure what to say or how to approach it. If he wants to end it then fair enough, i wont be happy but at least i can move on. Maybe he just doesnt realise what he's doin and i have said it to him last week in a joking way i.e. ur very quiet lately, i know ur busy in work but what's ur excuse outside work? Reply i got was sorry about that the playstation and football distracting me. Anyhow the next day he went back to being the same. Im just being a chicken really so i have to bring it up but i sooo dont want to be the nagging or needy girlfriend!!

Weidii

Hi OP, I recently had this problem with my own bf (who I love to death!) and it really scared me. Like yourself I was hesitant to bring it up with him, as I wanted him to contact me because he wanted to, not because I was nagging him to.

Eventually I did bring it up with him and I'm so glad I did as things have been great ever since. To be honest I think he didn't really notice he wasn't making an effort and he didn't think it was a problem at all. Now that he knows it's all been sorted out and he's glad I said it to him.

Say it to him, OP. What's the use in being with someone if you can't communicate with them about little problems. Don't throw it all away with this lad over a solvable problem. Ok, he could come out and say that he's not feeling too into it anymore, but even then, wouldn't you rather know?

Do it