ONS - Should I or Shouldn't I ??

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one.

Basically my situation is this. I'm male, 32 and have almost no sexual experience whatsoever. My experience is limited to one drunken encounter about 8 years ago that I didn't enjoy and regret. Since then, I've had nothing. This is probably due to a number of reasons, lack of confidence, low self-esteem etc.

Anyway I got talking to this woman on Facebook who lives in the same city as me. We've been chatting a bit online on MSN and stuff. We've seen pics of each other and both have webcams so we've seen what we look like right at this moment.

The chat got quite sexual to the point where I suggested she could come over to my place. She liked this idea and we've agreed on next weekend as to when it could happen. It's not definite yet, but it is what has been suggested.

The thing is that now I've had an hour or so to think about this, I'm starting to freak out and panic about it. I'm naturally a worrier about most things and this is looking to be no different. Me and her have been chatting a bit but the interest seems to be purely sexual. At least from my part. I told her that I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the moment and her response was "I know, me either".

Normally this would be all the green light a guy would need. But I'm starting to sort of freak about it all. I guess it's a number of things. I've never done anything like this before (ONS/Casual S**) and if I'm honest, I'm wondering if I'm cut out for it. When I'm horny I often think I could go through with it no problem, but when I'm not horny, the idea kind of scares me a bit. And at those times, I'd rather I had a relationship and I know then I'd not feel as worried or panicked about it as I'd be with someone I know and feel comfortable with.

To be honest I wouldn't say no to a relationship with the right girl if she came along, but some girls I'm just interested in sexually and don't want anything more. This Facebook girl falls into the second category.

But I'm sitting here quite worried about it and thinking I should call the whole thing off. I know from how I react to situations myself I can sort of panic internally (people can't tell) and I end up wanting to run away from the situation. This happened most recently when I was going away for a few days and I was freaking out a bit in the middle of the night in my head but calmed down then after a while.

Right this second, part of me thinks I should just forget all about this and call it off. And instead just focus on trying to be happy, hopefully meet a girl I like and maybe start seeing her at which point the sex part will feel comfortable.

I'm just interested in knowing if anyone else feels like me. I sometimes feel like I'm missing something by not having had a few partners, but now I'm sitting here thinking I should just forget that as the ONS/casual s** thing is freaking me out and seeming like a bad idea.

Anyone else felt like this before?

Liam Byrne

Cardinal rule for me is if either party isn't 100% comfortable with it, then it doesn't happen.

Sleep on it (no pun intended) because there's a chance that you'd be over-thinking it even if it were only a normal date.