Socially Im Crap

LegacyUser

Ok here goes,
Basically i feel like a total misfit socially, im 20 and its getting me down BIGTIME! I just feel as if i dont have the ability to converse naturally with people even my own family and people iv known for years. I suppose im a quite kinda guy by nature but when im put in pressure situations i just freeze up, for example in a nightclub talking to women or talking to people i dont really know too well i just feel as if i have nothing to offer and cant come across as humourous or interesting, this makes me feel as if people dont like me or find me boring and has lead me to avoiding many social situations.

At this stage its all i can think of when im talking to people im just constantly comparing myself thinking in my head why is this guy so good at talking to people. iv been told in the past im shy and this hurt me deeply. i just want to release my inhibitions and become the person i want to be, by this i dont mean the life and soul of everyparty all i want is to be able to talk to people comfortably without any major awkwardness!

Im really poor with women, i dont want to sound cocky but many women have showed major interest in me in the past and i just try to avoid them as i know i will not be able to talk to them if we go on a date etc... it really is bugging me as i want to involve myself with people more but until i let go of my anxietys i wont im still young and realise that but i feel iv alot of years wasted as is!

In the past iv suffered alot of rejection like being bullied as a child, and never ever discussing person issues with my family, my father seems to be a socially anxious person but dosnt seem to realise it so i think it might be a generic thing.

any help welcome

Kevster

Hi,

Are you being yourself around people or are you always trying to be someone else who is 'better' than you? I always found that I wasn't happy with myself when I was younger, and trying to be someone I was not was really affecting how I talked to people. Do'nt be afraid of saying the wrong thing, for example, as it happens all of the time. Who knows, what you say might even make them laugh. Plus, remember that if you seem nervous then they will too.

Know what things / environments make you feel comfortable, and use them to your advantage.

Kevin

greengiant09

ok dude,

i'm 27 and i have very similar experiences. only managed to sort out the same anxieties in the past year or 2 cos i didn't know how to approach them in the correct manner.....i literally spent years before that trying to work it out myself but got no where. luckily, your still young so don't panic.

the solution to your problem is CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy. research it on the net.......theres loads of info on it.....it's the most successful treatment for people with anxiety disorders....FACT!

mail me if u want more info.