New Relationship Problem

LegacyUser

Hi everyone.
I've a niggly little problem! Been seeing a new guy for a little while. Really mad about him and so far everything is great. However my problem is our first time sleeping together... basically I've been putting it off due to an old ectopic pregnancy scar. It's not huge or anything, but I'm scared if he notices it ( which I'm sure he will ) he will kind of freak out and god knows may even think It's a c-section scar or something.
I'm really just looking for advise on if I should tell him about the ectopic before hand so he'll know why the scar is there or should I keep quite, make sure the lights are always out and hope he doesn't notice?
Being a typical female it's prob more a big deal to me than it will be to him... but girls and guys... opinions please!
Thanks!

LegacyUser

Maybe say it to him before you slip between the sheets, but in a suttle way that suits YOU not him, If he's worth it he'll understand. My wife has a C-Section scar and she was put off by it and to be honest I love the person "wards and all" and now she's still the beautiful person I fell for many years ago. Show it to him and make a funny little joke about it just to settle your nerves. Post a reply on how you get on as im sure there are other women who have the same issue. Relax and enjoy

kenbrady

Fuzzy Logic wrote: »

make sure the lights are always out and hope he doesn't notice?

If you do that you will never be relaxed and enjoy yourself.
It's a scar on your body no big deal, most men wouldn't know what a c-section scar looks like.

I would tell him before you start getting down to business, bring it up in conversation and pull your bottoms down to show him the scar.
That's it done, all out of the way and you can enjoy yourself with out worry.

Special K

Why would he freak out if he thought it was a C secion scar??? :S

LegacyUser

Special K wrote: »

Why would he freak out if he thought it was a C secion scar??? :S

Well, c-section usually means delivering a full term baby via surgery... I don't want him thinking I've got a child hidden away somewhere! Most men wouldn't have a clue what an ectopic pregnancy is.
I guess I just better come clean, let him know why the scar's there. Even though that will involve raking up a very traumatic experience in my past. I don't know how he will react to the fact that I lost a child. Even though it was a very long time ago.
Guess I just gotta see what happens!
Thanks guys for your views!

SheRa

You dont have to tell him that its a scar from an ectopic pregnancy if you dont feel comfortable doing so. Just tell him that you have a scar from an operation that he may notice when you two get naked. Tell him about the pregancy in your own good time, not because you feel that you have to expalin the scar now.

Madame Razz

Don't feel bad OP, my stomach is destroyed from individual laparoscopy scars and an appendicts scar, really destroyed, I have 7 in total. OH didn't even notice until I pointed it out. To you it probably looks a lot worse than it actually is because you're conscious of it. Mention it to him before
hand(that you have a scar from an operation) if you want, but you don't have to go into details, he won't even realise what it is most likely anyway. Rose hip seed oil really helps them to fade too for what it's worth.

Basically, you've met a great guy and you want to take it to the next level. Don't let a superficial scar take from or stop that. It was necessary surgery and it can't be helped, so don't let it stand in the way of your happiness.

krudler

I'd bring it up beforehand, purely to avoid any awkwardness that may be there but unsaid if he notices or if you dont like the idea of him being down there and seeing it first, I was with a girl who had a scar down there from being stabbed (dont ask) and she said it before we did anything, it wasnt even that bad I would have thought it was appendix or something but it was nice to have it out in the open, was never an issue after that but she was insecure about it

SarahSassy

You don't need To tell him yet. If he asks say you had an operation and if he asks why just say 'girly stuff', that should divert any further questions. Only tell him when you are ready. Other posters I think her issue is that she would have to tell him about the pregnancyif he sees the scar and it may upset her

c123

Hi Fuzzylogic,
Just wondering how you got on with this?I have the exact same problem have a scar from an operation.It does not bother me at all but awkward to know whether to say or not before somebody actually sees it

dublingal80

Just tell him to get it out of the way. Honestly, its not anything that would make him run a mile if he is a decent guy. Its nothing to be ashamed of.
When I first slept with my OH i was very self conscious as I have a big scar on my leg from an operation. I had told him about it and when he saw it he kissed it and that was that..
Then a few months later I had another operation and I have a big scar going down my stomach, and again, he just kisses it when he sees it. Very attentive. never once was grossed out or shocked by it
am a very lucky girl

Gyalist

There's no need to tell him anything at all unless he asks then just tell him it was a "girly" operation. Then later on when you are more secure in the relationship you can expand on it.

Most likely, he won't care.

c123

Thanks for your advice-think i might just tell him at least then i wont be bothered by it and if it bothers him then really not the rite guy anyway.Its just part of me now and cannot change! Tx again

SarahSassy

c123 wrote: »

Thanks for your advice-think i might just tell him at least then i wont be bothered by it and if it bothers him then really not the rite guy anyway.Its just part of me now and cannot change! Tx again

TEll him if you are comfortable with it- good luck