Getting your social life going again

LegacyUser

I am in my mid twenties but the thing is, I have no social life any more. Friends have moved on to other places and I am left alone. I dont now what I can do. Absolutely none of my friends are around any more, moving away for work, travelling etc. My best friend went back to college recently In another country) and looking at his facebook page, I see him making so many new friends. It makes me jealous. I simply dont know how to make new friends and meet new people. How do people do this? These days, I stay in every weekend, never go out anymore. Will I be alone forever??? How on earth do people make new friends? I have a decent job but most of the people there are a little older, with kids and dont want to go out often :-( I would to be off to the pub with some of them now and again (Like in the TV series, "Teachers"!). But its not possible. I am just at a loss how to meet people and its getting me down so much. I live in a shard house but they take off home most weekends so dont see them very much at weekends :-( They are not exactly people who would go to the pub anyway. Has anybody here ever reinvented their social scene?

Weidii

As I'm sure many people will say, if you have a hobby or interest go join a society, club or night course. Even a dance class, group drumming class, art class, language class, a sport club... the list goes on.

I'm pretty sure the folks on boards meet up every so often, if you're from the Dublin area you could go to those.

You really have to put yourself out there if you're trying to meet new people. It seems obvious, but by doing new things you'll meet new people. Doing the same old things will only run you into the same old folks.

appleb

In a fairly similar posion myself. Have just come across a web site www.meetup.com . Seems to be good with the opportunity to meet people in a similar situation. Havent tried it out yet but WHEN I do I will keep you updated!!

G86

Theres a boards meet up next weekend I think, you should go along to that! If you're nervous just pm someone else who's going and meet them beforehand, I've met some great people on here.

niallith

sorry to hear about your situation, im pretty much on the same boat at the moment,ex + daughter recently moved back home to usa 3 weeks ago,mixed feelings about it really miss my daughter(2) alot but nice to not be on the brink of insanity from the ex anymore, but social life died 3 years ago when i met her... and now with all the free time i have(outside of work) most of my friends are lazy/busy with college and no money to really hang out much, so finding myself highly bored at the moment, and i guess in the need of meeting new friends or finding a new girlfriend, which is hard for me as im somwhat shy and not the greatest conversationist(at first) only thing really going for me is poker every thursday night with manager from work...but yea what others have said joining a clun or something would be the way to go i guess, tho i cant see myself using that option... but something will come up im sure so hang in there

TheCandystripes

like football? head to your nearest league of ireland team on friday nights? great banter if u pick the right club, and great way to make mates. actually if you like football, and want to get new friends you should be making it your business to get into the league as soon as possible. league is over till feb in a couple of weeks but maby just go get started, join the teams messageboard. st.pat's seem pretty good for this.

Overheal

Get out. Honestly. Cant meet people if you arent exposing yourself to anyone (and I mean that in any sense of the word. If you like streaking, thats your business)

Get some new threads, walk around, do stuff. Even if youre just going to a pub to watch a football match its doing you more good than parking your ass at home. Theres this nasty stereotype about pubs where you have to drink Like a Man or some **** which gets real expensive. Nothing wrong with ordering a happy hour drink and nursing it a while.

Im totally lost out here in Charleston. But I took this advice this weekend. I bought a really nice hat. Those newsboy wooly bastards. Found a dive bar and hung out by a wall and said nothing until something newsworthy happened and before you know it youre just talking to all sorts of characters like Iraq war veterans and 4 ft tall school teachers (true story)

jenny4385

i know how u feel... i ve posted about thiss before.... really want to get out there and make new friends.. evryone else doesnt seem to have a prob doing it so why shouldnt i...im just scared that no one will like me...

LegacyUser

"Theres a boards meet up next weekend I think, you should go along to that! If you're nervous just pm someone else who's going and meet them beforehand, I've met some great people on here. "

People that you wuld regard as friends

"like football? head to your nearest league of ireland team on friday nights? great banter if u pick the right club, and great way to make mates. actually if you like football, and want to get new friends you should be making it your business to get into the league as soon as possible. league is over till feb in a couple of weeks but maby just go get started, join the teams messageboard. st.pat's seem pretty good for this. "

I do go to LOI but by myself...

"Get out. Honestly. Cant meet people if you arent exposing yourself to anyone (and I mean that in any sense of the word. If you like streaking, thats your business)

Get some new threads, walk around, do stuff. Even if youre just going to a pub to watch a football match its doing you more good than parking your ass at home. Theres this nasty stereotype about pubs where you have to drink Like a Man or some **** which gets real expensive. Nothing wrong with ordering a happy hour drink and nursing it a while."

I know what you are saying. I gotta do something different. I live in Dublin so there should be plenty of stuff to do, but I just cant find anything. But I dont think going to a pubduring happy hour by myself will solve it!

To be honest, I thoguth more people would be in the same situation as me. Do people stay friends with their college mates until they settle down and dont bother meeting new people? I need to change, it has to happen or else I wil ust keep falling furthe into this rut. Surely others have succeeded in getting past this???

ash23

I was in the same boat a year ago. Moved to hicksville, miles from friends and family with my now ex. He fecked off and I was stuck here (as my daughter was settled and I didn't want to disrupt her life anymore than I had to).

I started by talking to people more. People that I only knew to say hi to. I'd stop and chat to them. then after a few times of a quick chat I'd ask them if they had plans that weekend. They'd say "oh I'm going to such and suchs party. You should come" and hell, even if they weren't genuinely interested in me actually going, I'd still go! You just have to be ballsy. I'd go and I'd meet more people and to be honest most of the people I initially started to be friendly with aren't my friends now. They are still aquantainces. But by getting out more I met more people and I now have some very good friends.
It takes time and it takes guts. But you won't meet friends in your front room. You have to get out there.

Good luck!