transition from the 'chandler phase'

LegacyUser

Hey guys.

Bit of a strange one here.Im a guy.Late teens.I'm in college in 1st year.I'm loving it so far and I have a few nice friends I hang around with.Well There are some very nice girls in my class that I would class as quite attractive.Anytime I talk to them I invariably make them laugh.It's in my nature and I love making people smile.Anyway were 6 odd weeks in now and its come to light that people are already sleeping with each other.

If i was honest with myself I would say I have low self confidence.I would class myself as moderately good looking.Im over 6 foot and I'm addicted to the gym ha.

I feel as if I use my humour as a defence mechanism to shield from my confidence problems kinda like chandler in friends.

Like I enjoy meaningfull conversations with people.

another thing is i think girls that i have contact with would tend to think of me as more of a friend because I'm funny and I listen.

Does anyone remotely get what I'm rabbiting on about?Maybe I should be more overt about my attractions to women.I tend to keep them to myself because Im afraid it mighn't be reciprocated.

jumprope

jumprope wrote: »

Hey guys.

Bit of a strange one here.Im a guy.Late teens.I'm in college in 1st year.I'm loving it so far and I have a few nice friends I hang around with.Well There are some very nice girls in my class that I would class as quite attractive.Anytime I talk to them I invariably make them laugh.It's in my nature and I love making people smile.Anyway were 6 odd weeks in now and its come to light that people are already sleeping with each other.

If i was honest with myself I would say I have low self confidence.I would class myself as moderately good looking.Im over 6 foot and I'm addicted to the gym ha.

I feel as if I use my humour as a defence mechanism to shield from my confidence problems kinda like chandler in friends.

Like I enjoy meaningfull conversations with people.

another thing is i think girls that i have contact with would tend to think of me as more of a friend because I'm funny and I listen.

Does anyone remotely get what I'm rabbiting on about?Maybe I should be more overt about my attractions to women.I tend to keep them to myself because Im afraid it mightn't be reciprocated.

Give it time. you are only 6 weeks into college- your still a young lad. Dont be focused on sleeping with a girl but rather focus on making her laugh which you seem to be good at. You sound like a good guy so dont turn into some alpha male to compete with the boys. you say you like meaningful conversations so therefore you will have meaningful relationships. i guarantee you these women will not get long term with the lads they sleep with but if you continue in the same vein of form they will see you as a potential relationship. also be brave. if you like a girl sure ask her out for casual drinks etc. if they say no, its their loss

LegacyUser

jumprope wrote: »

Hey guys.

Bit of a strange one here.Im a guy.Late teens.I'm in college in 1st year.I'm loving it so far and I have a few nice friends I hang around with.Well There are some very nice girls in my class that I would class as quite attractive.Anytime I talk to them I invariably make them laugh.It's in my nature and I love making people smile.Anyway were 6 odd weeks in now and its come to light that people are already sleeping with each other.

If i was honest with myself I would say I have low self confidence.I would class myself as moderately good looking.Im over 6 foot and I'm addicted to the gym ha.

I feel as if I use my humour as a defence mechanism to shield from my confidence problems kinda like chandler in friends.

Like I enjoy meaningfull conversations with people.

another thing is i think girls that i have contact with would tend to think of me as more of a friend because I'm funny and I listen.

Does anyone remotely get what I'm rabbiting on about?Maybe I should be more overt about my attractions to women.I tend to keep them to myself because Im afraid it mighn't be reciprocated.

Hey man don't worry you are not in that bad of a situation at all. You have friends in college and regularly chat to girls after class. This is pretty much the essential ingredients to having a great time at college and getting your bit now and then. Lots of people (including myself) never really make friends at college and we just leave after lectures and go pretty much unnoticed. We never go to the class nights out and we never pull any of the nice looking girls in the class. Seriously the people that get involved with all that stuff are the people who score the girls. I think that I am definitely good looking enough to pull a lot of girls in my class but I most likely never will because none of them even know my name and they will never see me outside of lectures. Lol, this is starting to sound quite sad and I am not some weird loner or anything but I just don't fit in to my whole college scene where as you do. And this is a huge advantage believe me! So my advice is stop worrying, keep being yourself and cracking jokes and get stuck in. If you are able to charm a girl, you should have no problem mate!

Mossin

I know exactly how you feel!

I still get that after 5 years in college. Dont see it as a bad thing. Often it is the people whom you listen to and befriend that you will end up liking the most and perhaps something will happen as a result.

Dont use friendship as a mechanism of getting into their pants though as thats not nice either.

As has been said, women wont stay forever with the type of lads that sleep around so early. They like your company and your humour, so let it be like that for a while. There is never a rush on finding someone you truly like and someone who actually likes you for you as well.

Miss Fluff

Whoooaaaa there, you are only in college six weeks. Get to know these girls better, then you can choose who you really want to make a move on. Can guarantee you that the charmers that are bedding everyone in sight in the first term won't get a look-in again once they have done the rounds. Enjoy settling in and getting to know people and the rest will come in time.

And I think most women will agree with me, but a sense of humour in a man is so so attractive. A man with wit and charm and humour can quite literally laugh the knickers off a woman so being like Chandler is not such a bad thing:)

opinion guy

lol - the chandler phase - very good

I also think - get invovled in college clubs and socs if you can. its a good way to meet people outside of your own class and I tend to think women like a guy who is into something/has passion for a hobby/cause/whatever (hmmm hooking up with people in your own class not necessarily the best thing anyways)

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies!I'm going to take it to heart.I think im just going to push myself out of my comfort zone and see where it takes me.thanks guys.

kenbrady

jumprope wrote: »

Hey guys.

Bit of a strange one here.Im a guy.Late teens.I'm in college in 1st year.I'm loving it so far and I have a few nice friends I hang around with.Well There are some very nice girls in my class that I would class as quite attractive.Anytime I talk to them I invariably make them laugh.It's in my nature and I love making people smile.Anyway were 6 odd weeks in now and its come to light that people are already sleeping with each other.

If i was honest with myself I would say I have low self confidence.I would class myself as moderately good looking.Im over 6 foot and I'm addicted to the gym ha.

I feel as if I use my humour as a defence mechanism to shield from my confidence problems kinda like chandler in friends.

Like I enjoy meaningfull conversations with people.

another thing is i think girls that i have contact with would tend to think of me as more of a friend because I'm funny and I listen.

Does anyone remotely get what I'm rabbiting on about?Maybe I should be more overt about my attractions to women.I tend to keep them to myself because Im afraid it mighn't be reciprocated.

Some girls might thinks that he's out of my league, tall, fit a real charmer always laughing and chatting to all the girls.
The low confidence is only in your head, most people have low confidence at one time or another, but people can view then as being very outgoing.