A bit confused..

LegacyUser

Hey all, some of you may find ths ridiculous, i'm just looking for someone to steer me in the right direction with some decent advice.
The other day, my best friend was talking with my girlfriend while I was at work in Dublin. Today he revealed to me that in their conversation he asked her if Pete Doherty asked her out, would she dump me? She said yes. This obsession with him has been long established, (she was supposd to see him in belfast in concert recently but he cancelled, constantly goes on about him etc.) but my question is does she really prefer this junkie that she doesn't even know to me? Do I not fulfil her enough as a boyfriend? Sometimes I really feel I do my best for her and then I get told that she would dump me for someone else..It hurts.Perhaps she was joking around?..I don't know. My friend advised me that these things are better kept quiet but he did suggest that this is a potentially bad sign.Should I bring it up in conversation? I'm confused because she sometimes says how she feels about me and praises me but maybe this is just her being nice? What woud you do?

tim0ney

This happens all the time! My friend's GF is totally obsessed by Jarvis Cocker. Why would you worry about it? People have a way of viewing celebrities as if they're not real people. Hypothetically, she would get eaten up by the hedonism surrounding him and get spat out the other side, a gibbering wreck of a human being.

You obviously care for her a great deal, but worrying about something like this isn't going to get you anywhere. To quote Kenneth from 30 Rock:
"I don't believe in hypotheticals. It's like lying to your brain!"
Stop worrying about it. It's needless and does you [and her] no good. And if it becomes a "big thing" that wrecks the relationship, that would be very sad and extremely silly.:)

minidazzler

In fairness Pete Doherty is a Poetic genius. He is quite a handsome fella, and he is the bad boy partyer that alot of girls go for. Don't be surprized that she wants to jump his bones.

It's just like you wanting to shag someone like Anna Kournikova. It's not actually gonna happen.

Everyone has fantasies, hers happens to be Pete Doherty.

Moomoo1

there is a reason to why people who suddenly achieve fame or celebrity don't stay in their relationships. Because (and this is the sad truth) many relationships are conditional on what else is out there. What's perfect on a desert island in the Pacific with a human population of 2 might not work when one of you has half of Hollywood after him/her.

As far as practical advise goes, I'd just make fun of her over this. In a nice way. I can see quite a lot of mileage in this...

Peggypeg

Yeah don't worry about it sweetie, unless she comes in and says Pete Doherty asked her out, although saying that that could be a good thing, she'd probably go out with him, realise he's not the stud muffin he is in her head and not be interested anymore - actually yeah that's what you should do - set her up with Pete Doherty. Ah I'm only joking but can you see the sillyness in you worrying about this?

I would however wonder why your friend is stiring sh*t between you guys, I would be very careful around a person like that.

Loopsie

i tell my boy all the time if i got an offer from Josh Harnett i wouldnt turn him down!!!! Its NEVER gonna happen though!!! his fantasy is angelina jolie!!! Your friend is stirring the pot simple as, ignore and laugh about it that he felt the need to be so petty!!

martdalto

rochyll wrote: »

The other day, my best friend was talking with my girlfriend while I was at work in Dublin. Today he revealed to me that in their conversation he asked her if Pete Doherty asked her out, would she dump me? She said yes......

My friend advised me that these things are better kept quiet but he did suggest that this is a potentially bad sign.

I completely agree that your friend is stirring.

Why would he ask her that question in the first place?
Then why would he tell you, and then tell you these things are better kept quiet?
But then suggest it's a bad sign for your relationship?

He has his own agenda here.. whatever it is. Either he doesn't like her and wants to split to two of you up, or he really likes her, and wants to spilt the two of you up.

I had a gay aquaintance years ago... he was such a lovely, lovely, lovely bloke! I remember telling my then bf that if he wasn't gay I'd be in love with him! My bf stuck around though, and became my husband!

It doesn't mean anything... it's not going to happen.

I would be more concerned about your "friend".

Terodil

Is it just me who thinks rubbing stuff like that in your OH's face is 'not nice'?

It's one thing to have a 'crush' on a celebrity and to talk about it at times, it's another to keep swooning about your crush and to declare that you'd dump your OH if s/he became available, IMO.

It doesn't mean that she'll dump you, but ofc it means that he has something she desires that you obviously can't give her.

I think it's rather inconsiderate and hurtful of her to say such things. Up to you to decide if you want to put up with that -- I know I wouldn't.

Edit: As the poster below me, I'm a bit concerned though because I think the question itself is already manipulative, and you didn't actually hear her say it. It could well be that there's more going on than meets the eye.

Danny2580

I have a hunch that your friend is being a bit Machiavellian. Could he have the hots for her or other hidden motives?

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks so much to everybody who replied so far, all opinons are appreciated! I'm not going to write a very detailed post until I have come to a fairly definite conclusion.
Just in response to what some of you have said, I am aware that Pete Doherty isn't going to ask her out but you still know what I mean yeah? She said she would dump me IF he did and that still kinda gets to me. Just the thought of her dumping me over another guy wrecks my head...Would you mention it??
Regarding my friend, he's easily one of the oddest people I know. I wouldn't think that he would TRY to split us up but the thought has come into my mind...Like he also said that she's "very pleasant" to be around and is the "girlfriend material" somene should look for, not that exactly but at least something very similar to that.The term "girlfriend material" was definitely used.Tbh I was quite flattered, but the above comments are making me think twice. He definitely doesn't dislike her. Is he really a threat? Tbh, he's never been kissed and his only "relationship" was with a girl who lived about 200 miles away that he never saw for a few months about 3 years ago. (1st year college now). However, he does often attempt to chat up girls gets their numbers etc. just nothing ever comes out of them every time. I've gone a bit ff topic, sorry. Ok this post is far longer than I thought, sorry again. Keep the replies coming though, thanks!

pisslips

Honestly I have friends like that, and I'm like that too and I appreciate it. Like if you trust him, then he's only uncovering the truth for you. Like you should have thick enough skin to deal with that. It's not a big deal. The truth is she probably said it and she has probably shared a lot with your friend that she thought was for his ears only. He probably kept some of it and gave you some of it.

Everyone has some agenda but you can't go around guessing what it is. You are in the driving seat, she likes you, you're friend won't do anything because it's definitely not worth the friendship loss and reputation loss to him, plus he might get shot down, so pride loss also. Why would he do that, it wouldn't make any sense.

The Pete Doherty thing is bull****, I doubt she would dump you for Pete Doherty and if she did happy days, your free from a shallow relationship and she well, she'd reap her own rewards. Anyway, thats so ridiculous it would never happen anyway.

Don't let fear and lack of confidence undermine you're chance for happiness.

This is a serious mountain being made out of a molehill and actually if you bring it up, it will not only make her suspicious and paranoid of what your friend may or may not have told you but also make you look like you are needy and have low confidence and also that you need constant re-assurance of her affection. I doubt thats very attractive.

I know the feeling that you never want to be with anyone if you are not their first choice at least at that time, given all hypothetical scenarios. Thats a good perspective to have, I think.

Relax and trust, it's reasurring that even if these things go belly up that you bought into it wholeheartedly and with full trust, you can be proud of that no matter what happens. Don't ruin it with petty doubts.Let the cheat cheat and let the lier lie, it is they who suffer in the end.

There's nothing to worry about anyway.

Chinafoot

I adore Bruce Springsteen. Absolutely worship the ground the man walks on. My other half knows this and he finds it funny. We've joked about it plenty of times.

Anyone who would leave their other half over a celebrity fantasy will have lots of ended relationships tbh. If someone is asked the question they'll answer it. It's hardly the same as the OPs girlfriend telling him constantly and seriously "I'd leave you for him, you know." :rolleyes:

OP your mate is stirring the shít. Celeb crushes are fine (although your girlfriends taste leaves a lot to be desired there...a dirty junkie who produces utter shíte...but thats for another thread :P) and its just a bit of fun. She's passionate about him but nothing is ever going to happen so worrying about it silly.

I'd question the motives of your friend although perhaps he's just ridiculously over-sensitive about things like this.

G-Money

Has she ever seen that clip of him being interviewed and he squirts a syringe of blood over the camera and interviewer? It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. Anyone who'd still fancy him after that needs their head examined.

Try not to think about it and if it's really bothering you, just think of some famous girl who you'd lose the run of yourself over.

..Summergirl..

Well, if you still want to keep your relationship with her, talk to her then and tell her what she is doing it's really hurts you, and if care not taking them you'll not know what going to happen next. You don't have to sit down and wait.... Break up the wall before it will grow to a stage where it will be late to do something.

Terodil

Chinafoot wrote: »

Anyone who would leave their other half over a celebrity fantasy will have lots of ended relationships tbh. If someone is asked the question they'll answer it. It's hardly the same as the OPs girlfriend telling him constantly and seriously "I'd leave you for him, you know." :rolleyes:

By the same token, if someone gives an answer it's going to be taken at face value, in this case, 'I'd leave X for Y'. Interpretation: X is second-rate only. If Y came along (or somebody who came sufficiently close to Y), X would be dumped.

Yes it's ridiculous, most probably not serious, and the answer may have followed the ****-in-****-out paradigm (again, friend as ****-stirrer), but it's still a hurtful thing to say. Not enough for a breakup obviously but enough to shake people, see OP.