Introducing sex toys

LegacyUser

I'm having a hard time orgasming with my boyfriend, its not a real problem but we've discussed using a vibrator to get me to come. I don't just want to whip it out and use it, but we are going away for a weekend soon and I was planning to bring a few bits and pieces (you know what I mean!) along. I'm wondering how the guys think I should introduce the toys, don't want him to feel bad so I was thinking of getting all dressed up in my sexiest lingerie (he has usually seen me in nice, but not particularly sexy stuff) and being much more naughty and domineering than I usually am. Would that work I would I freak him out? I want him to have as much fun as me (I do come very quickly and multiple times when on my own with my toys) without making him feel inadequate....any thoughts guys?

minidazzler

Hmmmm, this is a toughie because it really depends on the type of guy he is.

What I would like to see when I walk into the room (If I were him) is;

Some candles burning, lights dimmed.
The Girl lying on the bed comfortably in her lingerie.
The Toys standing on the bedside table.

The reason I think the toys should be on the bedside table is because it is non-intrusive and it doesn't put pressure on him.

Start getting into it, then ask him does he want to try one of the toys on you.

Again, that's what I would like, he may be and probably is, different to me.

Nevyn

Start with someing small like the durex finger vibe or a magic bullet.

LegacyUser

OP here,
I have the figer vibe and a magic bullet (really love it!) plus some other things, but I don't want him to think I've bought half of ann summers which might make him feel a bit inadequate. As I said we've talked about this (usually post-coital when I haven't come) and he knows I come with a vibrator but he hasn't said "why don't you show me what works" which is why I've not brought out the toys before. I am into him, love having sex he is good in bed but I need something extra-so how delicate or straight up should I be? Would a guy be insulted or turned on by a girl bringing this up during foreplay or after intercourse? How did other girls do this?

Terodil

I've been on the other side of this. For me initially the thought of toys was a bit off-putting, the standard 'I don't do it for her, but a piece of plastic does' kind of self-doubt. For me personally there were a few things that helped me over it:

• her assuring me that the toy was just an extra (or the second choice when we're apart -- we're in a LDR), underlining that a toy cannot replace being together with who you love (yes it's evident but in such a situation, explaining this clearly (and also repeatedly) definitely helps!)
• showing me how to use the toy on her
• being incredibly patient with me during that time, because if she cannot reach climax every time herself, it's infinitely more difficult for me to achieve. I still usually have to hand the toy over to her for the last stretch
• taking a fun approach to it and allowing giggles if things don't work out as they should, not letting it turn into a chore or rated performance, and therefore also not overdoing it in the beginning and not demanding/using it all the time
• integrating me into the play properly and not just doing her thing, fingers + rosebud are so much fun :pac:

I now see the toys as what they are: toys, to increase the fun for both partners. But it was difficult at first, I must admit. Tread carefully, especially if he's relatively inexperienced. I'm not so sure about the domineering bit, it could work but it could also fail phenomenally.

I think what I'd do in your case is get a small vibrator (magic bullet) out and start on him first, grin evilly and tease him thoroughly with it, then just push it into his hand and let him explore your body with it. Guide him a little and show him how much fun it is.

thefeatheredcat

How about the two of you going shopping for toys together during the weekend away (or before if no sex shops there)?

That way ye can pick something together that suits both and even something for the both of ye...

As for toys, get him involved! Something for both of you to indulge in and share.

tfak85

thefeatheredcat wrote: »

How about the two of you going shopping for toys together during the weekend away (or before if no sex shops there)?

That way ye can pick something together that suits both and even something for the both of ye...

As for toys, get him involved! Something for both of you to indulge in and share.

i agree with this, i brought my boyfriend with me and he was a bit freaked but it is something you can have a laugh about too...

the magic bullet is a great thing to have in the bedroom, my boyfriend loves it when i use it on him too, this way it's not just used for me..

St James

I think that OP suggestion is a good one too. nice meal, then he finds her in bed with candles, in nice lingerie on the bed - playing!

wicked