Waster

LegacyUser

I'm not sure why I'm posting this, it is more just for me to get it of my chest than anything else. So you can stop reading here if you like !

My problem is, I am completely fcuked, I am just finishing a crap degree with a crap mark, I have nothing going for me even though I come across to everyone as someone who's going to go far ! I'm talented at certain things but nothing I can make a proper career of, I won't be able to get a decent job. To make it worse I've just started seeing someone who is amazing, beautiful, intelligent and one of the nicest people you could ever meet. I have to let her know that she could do so much better than me, I have nothing to offer her. She seems to think I have some sort an inferiority complex or am modest. Meanwhile my parents just bury their heads in the sand and say "sure it will all work out, you'll find yourself a job you love"

I've come to the conclusion that the only way to sort myself out is to cut all my ties with here and join the British Army and make the army my life, but to be honest I'm such a failure I probably won't even be able to pass the fitness test for that. Well that's it, thanks for reading and I'm sorry I wasted your time.

jellyboy

Hi op..
Can you speak to anybody about the way u are feeling?

everybody has somthing to add to this planet...you just havent found yours yet...

try not to be so hard on yourself...

thefeatheredcat

If you're still in college, have a chat to the student counsellor and guidance counsellor about what options are available for you. Even the college chaplin or someone?

I finished my degree a few years ago and haven't as yet been in a job related to it. It happens to everyone.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has something to offer someone, even if we can't see it ourselves.

If you're serious about joining the army, well it's a choice that you have.... but only do it if it's something that you think is really for you and not just a temporary fix to a long term problem....and not as an escape from the situation you're facing.

My advice would be to finish your degree and have a long look at your options, If the army or defense forces in general is still appealing to you follow that course of action.

anonymous_joe

If you get a degree you can get a masters and work really hard and do well.

You could get a job, save up, do another degree and get a good mark.

Just don't give up.

Overheal

people underestimate their skills. degrees are great and all for specializations, but if youre looking for work theres a lot of options out there. after dropping out of a programming degree you wouldnt have convinced me id be the manager at a flooring gallery - yet here i am.

Jonty

Don't put yourself down. Think of it like this. In your eyes your GF is great. She must see something equally great in you to be going out with you???

meditraitor

Oct22 wrote: »

My problem is, I am completely fcuked, I am just finishing a crap degree with a crap mark, I have nothing going for me even though I come across to everyone as someone who's going to go far ! I'm talented at certain things but nothing I can make a proper career of, I won't be able to get a decent job. To make it worse I've just started seeing someone who is amazing, beautiful, intelligent and one of the nicest people you could ever meet. I have to let her know that she could do so much better than me, I have nothing to offer her. She seems to thinks I have some sort an inferiority complex or am modest. Meanwhile my parents just bury their heads in the sand and say "sure it will all work out, you'll find yourself a job you love"

I've come to the conclusion that the only way to sort myself out is to cut all my ties with here and join the British Army and make the army my life, but to be honest I'm such a failure I probably won't even be able to pass the fitness test for that. Well that's it, thanks for reading and I'm sorry I wasted your time.

If they are problems we are all fucked.

Sounds like you might be a bit depressed ourlad, go talk to your GP because I really cant see a problem

opinion guy

Yes if you must be down on yourself there's little anyone can say to stop you, but have a little faith in your girlfriends' ability to pick the man she wants, yes ? If you dump her for the silly reason that you think you are not good enough for her, you will really hurt her.

OP - what is it you would like to do after finishing college ? I don't think joining the army merely as a lack of other options is really a good idea - you might HATE it

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down on yourself, I remember feeling very similar when i was coming to the end of my degree as well, but this is 3 years ago now. College is crap for the competitive side to it and i was always comparing myself to so many other people, when you leave college it gets so much easier,

I was not able to feel good about myself on my degree show night or for the fact that i only got a 2-1 degree- i thought i was a complete failure! and i was someone who had failed my junior cert and my leaving cert and came back in college as a mature student and got an honours degree!

I just think it is such an anti climax, i thought i would walk into a job straight away and i would be at the top of my game and i would be ambitious ambitious ambitious, god in fact deep down i did not really want that and i have had the best 3 years of my life enjoying my BF who i bought a house with and we set up home together, you just have to feel blessed for what you do have in your life, and OP you have a lot going for you, a beautiful girl, an education etc, i really think you need to give yourself some time to relax after college and find your confidence again. Dont make any rash decisions until you feel you are in a more balanced place, because right now your hating on yourself a bit!

LegacyUser

Hey,

Listen, it seems like you think your "career" or the job that you do defines what you are and how successful you will be.

I think you need to start untwisting your thinking....

What things are you talented at? Seriously - what are the things that you are good at?

How can you have "nothing going for you"? The fact that you're "seeing someone who is amazing, beautiful, intelligent and one of the nicest people you could ever meet" sounds like you've a few things going for you at least.

Take it from me - I left school and did a couple of certs, worked in a job I felt totally unable to do and looked into the abyss at one stage. Left, travelled and fast forward 10 years I work for myself and although I'm not minted, I live the way I want to live. I have better friends now than I ever had and I have a hobby which I do every week which gives me so much enjoyment.

You seem to think that life is about a good job. That's only one part of life.

It's also about friendships, relationships, having interests, fun, enjoyment, experiences and much much more.

And just think about what exactly a job is: working about 40 hours a week earning money for yourself but ultimately earning money for someone else. And you do that for 48 weeks a year. You take orders from above and you probably have to commute aswell.

I have friends doing "decent" jobs that they hate. I also have friends doing jobs they like.

And look around you..... a job isn't always security - there are many people who have amazing degrees and Masters who are now out of work despite their efforts and they work they have put in.

As for joining the British army - seriously dude, what are you thinking that for? For the money? Have you had any experience with the army? Have you ever met any squaddies? Have you seen what's going on in Iraq and Afghanistan? You'd just be escaping from your present situation but jumping into something far more horrendous.

You also have two supportive parents giving you reasonable advice. Maybe try explaining to them in more detail what your issues are and they can give you better advice...