Pills- Think I nearly died last night

LegacyUser

Okay- having a hard time getting my head round this today.

I pill about once a year or that but when I do i tend to go to town. I went out Tuesday night and ended up taking three pills, as you can imagine was in the horrors Wednesday and spent my day in bed but not sleeping, I was making some sort of recovery and ended up out last night. I knew it was stupid as my body was ****ed but ended up taking another pill last night. It was too much, the drug was writing cheques on my energy levels my body couldn't take. I felt really ill and had to leave the club to go sit in the car and smoked my mind out with the hash.

My heart was racing and I could feel it in the car. I started breathing in and out really slowly to try and slow the heart rate down but nothing was working. I found myself wanting to sleep but instead of sleep it felt like a darkness come over me. The only way to describe it was someone pouring black oil into my brain. It started at the top of my head and I could feel it work down on my brain, when it was almost totally over me I opened my eyes to fight it and could literally feel my brain coming back to life. It was like an electrical shock in my head and it was very painfull. This happened about three times, this blackness enveloping me and me fighting it. I knew that my body was at the brink and to sleep was to die. Of course this panicked me further and got my heart racing again. It was the scariest experience of my life, all the time I was very conscious of the fact I had injested a large amount of hash but my heart was palpating instead of slowing down. I had my finger on my pulse and my heart was all over the place, at times it would fade and other times it would rally until it felt like I was running a marathon. I stared out the window and tried to concentrate on the leaves on the tree blowing in the wind to try and calm myself down.

In the end my mate ended up coming out to me in the car. He was fairly wired himself. I just closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing willing my heart rate to slow down. I knew my body badly needed rest so I decided to go to sleep. I knew if anything happened that he'd drive me up to hospital which was only ten minutes away. This is where things got really weird. I had all these strange mental images, like a plug being pulled and water draining down the plughole only I was the water. I remember going cold, and seeing a white light on the horizon spread like a long white line and a feeling of peace going towards it. I remember thinking jesus this is heaven and then it started to retreat as if I was being kicked out and negative connuctations, there was an internal battle and I remembered the negative things I had done and felt ashamed, I remember not my life flashing before my eyes so much as the feelings of different stages of my life, how i FELT as a child, how i FELT as a teenager. And then I heard a voice as clear as day saying "I'm sending him back", a male voice I didn't recognise and I remember taking a breath in and coming back. I felt the blood being pumped back into my head and got a rush like you do when you stand up after sitting down a long time. After that I didn't feel tired, I felt like I was out of my body, behind it so to speak watching in panorama. My pupils had dilated further and light was about 15% more intense and everything seemed to shimmer and have an aura.

I just relaxed and in time the feeling of being on the brink faded. That's the thing you see, I KNEW that my body was about to collapse and could actually feel that and fight that, I had to fight to stay conscious, but that faded and my heart slowed down and I knew I was out of the woods. I kept smoking hash but the trip was more about random mental images after that. This time when I felt like sleeping, it was more like the normal sleep of fading out and not this earlier blackness that seemed to envelop me and painfully shut things down.

I've been around drugs on and off for about ten years and I've never had anything remotely like this happen to me. I've been on crazy crazy trips and seen some mad crap in my head but this actually scared me. I'm not religious, heck I don't even believe in an afterlife and part of me thinks that this story is full of too many cliches of dying to be believed. I mean if I have heard or read about similar things then surely my mind could conjure this trip. The only thing that rattles me though is that blackness. I could feel it. It felt like dying and the agonising pain that shot through my brain as I opened my eyes those times, I could feel the electricity fire in my brain.

Part of me thinks it's just a trip, if I was that close to death would I not be in all sorts of crap today and needing medical attention, but I remember that voice man. I was ready to die, I had accepted it and it's when I stopped fighting that voice sent me back and it was like BANG! inhale.

I really don't know what to make of this today. Was it just a trip- did I nearly die. Either way I think I'll be giving a drugs a wide bearth from now on.

I'm 27 by the way, I'd actually be interested to hear any medical professionals opinions on this.

Xiney

There are no medical professionals on the internet. At least none whose credentials can be verified.