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Lonely October

  • 22-10-2009 11:35am
    #1
    dyl10
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,355 ✭✭✭


    When cold air descends
    And days are cut short
    There's nowt around
    That'd lift a mood

    Each black, bare morning
    A frosty monotony, stark as nude
    A hope of snow, to dress bare trees
    An Ambitious dream

    A slumbering sound, like a whistle
    Tones the mind, thoughts to the beat
    A collage of liquids, Present mists
    A painting in progress, later's gift

    Distraction is born, familiarity returned
    Gaunt, jaw dropping attraction
    Splendered, free of the storm
    A raging fire, among frozen wood

    Follies away, a private pondering
    An encounter untapped, a warming dance
    Rippled waves, suspended in air
    A flow of virgin golden, innocent as sin

    Like a sun drenched waterfall, Flowing about diamonds
    Navigating meanders, of clustered snakes
    A naked softness, untouchable now
    As I’m ripped from the warmth, of my secret snug

    Stolen time, an early departure
    Always too early, no matter how late
    The cold sleet begins to drag itself again
    Again in dead, rotten clumps,
    Raging elements to be braved

    Like a record skips, dampening an explosion
    Funded by distance, longing's its powder
    A slender, rounded Mecca evaporated
    Slipping through my clutching grasp, it’s gone

    Gone again, to start anew
    I, left to face the shrill bore of winter once more


    I'm working on this piece at the moment, alone.
    It's difficult to gauge its readability for an outsider(naturally, because I understand it).
    I'd very much appreciate if someone could give it a quick read and let me know.
    This is one of the first times I've written something without a planned structure so it feels very rough.


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