Girlfriend major mood swings...

cupofjoe

I see that there is a contraception Q&A at the top and had a quick flick but I'm exhausted from a fight with my girlfriend because she's back on the pill (dianette I believe) and need to get some sleep...so I'm sorry if this is well covered here already!

She was off it for 3 months and we rarely faught (normal fights) and she said herself she felt differently but she's back on it and it's like eggshells have been hauled in by the truck load now sometimes and little things that should be covered in a 2 minute conversation become a 2 hour heated discussion leading to a fight.

Now I'm no saint, I have done and do things that she justifiably gets annoyed about but I would love to hear if there is anything that can be done or ways I can approach things with her to calm things when she's getting picky.

She told me that she is on the highest dosage I think and that if she comes off it she gets greasy skin and hair so she wants to be on it...

I know she probably knows anything you are going to tell me but I'm just curious to know - are there alternatives? (before anyone says condoms she wants to be on it to stop greasy hair and skin so that's not an option). Is it possible for her to reduce her dosage to a lower level to see if it still works...?

Any advice more than welcome! Thanks for any help.

Nervous Wreck

Why doesn't she just take care of her hair and skin?

metaoblivia

Don't know about the hair, but a lot of time break outs on the skin are hormonal issues.
She could try another brand of birth control. Dianette isn't the only one that helps with hormonal break outs. She may find one that keeps her skin clear without causing the mood swings.

beks101

Yep, I'll second Metaoblivia - there are alternative forms of contraception that might work better for her. She probably knows already, but it's definitely worth her having a chat with her GP about her other options anyway.

Dianette had the same effect on me, I turned into a teary, miserable, hormonal mess! I was on it for my skin and decided I wasn't willing to feel like crap on a daily basis for the sake of a few spots...I switched to Yasmin, which has a far smaller dosage of hormones and it did the trick for me.

shellyboo

If your girlfriend prizes her hair and skin over her moods, which affect your relationship... well, she needs to assess her priorities. I was on a contraceptive which threw my moods for years and years - being hormone-free now, I'd rather look like Quasimodo than go back to being that way. I was miserable and I made my boyfriend miserable.

There are plenty of other types of contraception to try; and plenty of other treatments for greasy hair and skin. Sit her down and tell her you can't cope with her moods and you want her to go back to her GP. It's really not worth being cranky all the time for.

LadyE

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Why doesn't she just take care of her hair and skin?

Thats not a very helpful thing to say

Dianette is the contraception doctors give to treat acne etc. it is VERY good but it is an extremely high dosage, i was on an off it for about a year, and it was VERY effective for my skin issues, but by god it turned me into a psychopath.

I was horrible, took an innocent comment and too great offense to it, felt like I wasnt myself at all - it really effected my relationship and boyfriend felt like he was walking on eggshells all the time. It came to a stage that I knew I had to come off it or else there would be no "us" anymore.

I came off it in May/June and I still have horrible PMT while the hormones are still leaving my system.

It is the highest doasge of contraception, I think yasmin is 5mg of (whatever) and dianette is 40 :eek:

If she goes to a womens health clinic they can advise of other alternatives for her skin, a friend of mine went to a fantastic one in Blackrock, they prescribed her a brillaint face wash (name escapes me at the moment) and a course of tablets (which I don't think was the antibiotic route, but am open to correction) - her skin has improved greatly and she isnt taking dinanette.

Maybe your gf would be open to going down this route?

Xiney

moved from tLL

Just a reminder that we can't give medical advice - however experiences of being on hormonal birth control and answers to the following:

"but I would love to hear if there is anything that can be done or ways I can approach things with her to calm things when she's getting picky."

are of course acceptable.

Loopsie

OP dianette is quite a strong dose and like anything has different effects on different people......i was on it at one stage not for skin etc purely for contraceptive reasons and put on a sh*t load of weight, felt like i was going crazy, blubbering mess and it nearly ruined my relationship!!!
i went to my gp and told her everything while dribbling i was crying so much!!!! she changed me to microlite and 2 years on im as happy as a pig in sh*te!!!!!!
Recommend getting her to talk to her gp or go to a womens clinic, they see this kinda thing all the time! Im sure she could take a much lower dosage pill in conjunction with something for her skin and hair!
Best of luck x

Lollipops23

I've been on a multitude of different pills, and I was the psycho bitch queen most of the time. My poor OH put up with some awul ****e. I went to the doc at the end of my tether and he explained that there are hundreds of different types of pills and each girl responds differently to each pill.

I'd advise getting your OH to go back to the doc and explain.It's not a stupid thing to change brand over,it can put a terrible strain on relationships. I'm testement to that:o

cupofjoe

Thank you for all the advice, I think will I ask her to see GP and clinic about different options - just had another fight there when I rang to see if she was alright and everything i did was wrong, I know its the pill but god it's hard to stay calm sometimes ...this will have an impact on relationship so best to get something done now! Thanks everyone.

Loopsie

Op does she know how unhappy her moods are making you??
I know if my OH said to me i was making him miserable i would do everything possible to make it better.
She will probably have a hissy fit when u broach the subject but just stay calm and try and get her to reason, make sure u point out the only reason ur bringing it up is cos u love her and want this to work but going forward with her behaving the way she is it wont work
x

Snabe

agree with lollipops.
i too have been on a few different brands of the pill and there are some really low dosage ones out there that your girlfriend could try to see if they still help her hair/skin but make her less moody.

i knew myself when i was on one particular brand that i was acting crazy (crying constantly for no reason!), and even knowing its the pill's fault doesn't mean you can stop yourself!

good luck!

magneticimpulse

i totally understand. when i met my "ex" i wasnt on the pill and very happy person. then went on pill and my moods changed. then came off the pill and that was worse as moods went worse. we split up. i went back onto dianette and another doctor recommended yasmine (i was on a softer yasmielle when with ex).

im now single, but trying my best to control my moods. im taking dianette and no problems and my skin is clear. im talking to a professional and he said theres no reason to take mood stabilisers. talking to the professional really helps. i was insulted when my ex suggested i should go. but to be honest, it gets me by week by week. its more like a personal coach. to be honest i tried to convince myself it was the pill...yeah its hormones. but i think personally, i found on off on off was worse. just better to stick with it for a while. ive been eating better, trying to do sport. and talking to this guy is great. he really nice and its good to just have someone to talk your problems through. to be honest i think you are taking that role at the moment. if she talks to someone, she might not put all these things on you and it can help her moods. what certainly didnt help was that my ex kept mentioning and making a big issue of this. i had a lot of things to deal with, it was difficult time in my life. being single i dont feel moody now. its taking time. im getting my confidence back. so who knows (i think it was studies, other issues making me moody)...certainly talking to someone has helped.

1) She might talk to someone, find the root of whats bothering her
2) Good diet and sleep, exercise. Joining clubs, activities, meeting new people.
3) Herbal remedies? I take 5-HTP to activate serotonin. Lots things in Holland Barrett
4) Try to avoid her during states of mood. It usually only last a few hours or day. Most likely she not moody with you. Yeah its hormones, but the above should help.

Hope it helps...im still trying to find out the mystery myself