friendships affected by my job

LegacyUser

I do not know where else to post this.
I am a civil servant, which is becoming an issue with my friends, most of whom work in financial services. I am NOT at the top of my grade, I'm on about €30k pa (after pension levy, income levy, PRSI etc), which to a lot of people is lots of money, but in my group is on the lower end of average.
Several of my friends have been affected by recent economic events, as have I. However, recently they have started to get pay rises (some work for AIB) and one girl just got a €12k bonus-she works for a high-profile dodgy bank Joe Taxpayer will be saving. I am not jealous, I chose a different career and know there are benefits to my job beyond money, plus I love it.

However, those who work in the financial sector have been driving me crazy with their comments about the "cushy civil service". I've bitten my tongue so far but the AIB thing is driving me crazy, FFS I'm being told my pay will be cut AGAIN and my friends are getting a pay rise next month, paid for by my taxes and I'm being told my them I'm lucky to have a job? I work damn hard and do not expect to earn thousands, but my friends in finacial services in the banks which are the reason for the mess seem to be in a much cushier position than me-one even said she's going to look for a rise as she is paying too much in the income levy!!!!

I'm sorry if this is a rant, I just need to get it off my chest. I have brought this up and have told them I do a fair days work for a fair days pay, but I can't help but think they think I'm a lazy sh!te who does no work and has a handy number, but they seem to be doing pretty ok to me-all had holidays as usual and are planning a lavish Christmas weekend away which I can't afford, because their companies' recklessness means I'll be earning less. Thanks for reading.

OS119

your 'friends' are c0cks for talking about specific figures and earnings in general - particularly in this economic climate - its extremely rude and frighteningly insensitive.

i socialise in a very close group - friends 15 years on from university - that includes people earning £15k to those earning over £80k, and none of us would discuss our earnings or make 'aren't we the mutts nutts for having a £500k house/£50k car/£10k holiday' comments because of how uncomfortable it might make others in the group feel. its just politeness and consideration for those who may not be in the same financial position as you.

that people working in the financial industry, having just been bailed out by the taxpayer to a position of near bankruptsy, show abolutely no consideration for others however, is i'm afraid no surprise...

i'm not sure what practical advice i can offer - except don't hang around with c0cks...

thefeatheredcat

tbh I would say find yourself some better friends.

If what you do and what you earn is what matters to them, then its defining a person by their job title and salary, not by who they are as a person.

On the other hand, if it's meant as a poke or in jest, laugh it off.

I think its speak up now or forever hold your tongue.

Kipperhell

People including friends are entitled to their opinion. Having worked with civil servants I can assure you many have cushy jobs compared to the private sector.

Your view of their work is not exactly balanced either. It is the same argument about how taxes are spent but instead of giving out about civil servants pay you are substituting bankers.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to talk about financial and work matters with friends. If you are bothered by your friends views I would suggest get used to it as many people who have never really done anything with the civil service have the same view.

At some point you might just hold your views in such importance that you no longer want friends with a view different to that. Is it really that important to you that you can't be friends with them? You can always tell them you find it directly insulting because they are talking about your work. Do you avoid telling them how you feel about the banking sector?

Celtic67

Hi,
First off I find it odd that friends would discuss their earnings openly and may be use it as a stick to beat each other with.

I also work in the "Public Sector" dealing with banks on a regular basis. I am at least doing 10-15 hours extra a week now for less money with no overtime or time in lieu.

I have friends working in the private sector in banks, telecommunications and in retail and none of them have taken a pay cut. These friends do less hours than me in a week - fact!
Obviously there are areas of the public sector that need to be tightened up but in my experience public sector workers work just as hard as anyone.

CeNedra

I agree with Kippernell completely.
I have worked private sector for over 10 years. I have never received a penny for OT, and I do on average 10-15 extra hours a week. Then when I am home I am getting phone calls, emails etc etc. Plus I have to travel when I don't want to.
I'm on a pay freeze for 2 yrs now and of course like everybody I'm hit with the extra levies/taxes etc etc.
Work is getting harder, freeze on hiring, launching new products so more work with less people etc etc.
What we won't be doing is going on strike. As a group of a few thousand people, we're clued into the Economy and what's going on out there. We won't screw over a country that is already on its knees.
I'm peed off with bankers as well, but not at the people who are on the level your friends are, they are worker bees like the rest of us and weren't responsible for screwing us over. I'm peeved with regulators, govt, advisors to govt (i.e. public sector workers) and top nobs at the banks who were not far sighted enough. I could rant for a half hour.
If your friends are not sensitive to the fact that they are insulting you when they insult public sector workers then tell them and play them at their own game if you want. Tell them how unhappy you are with their organisations. Not that its their fault or anything.
Get real to the fact that public sector needs to get efficient. If you guys worked in my company for a day you'd get the fright of your life. Generalisation of course. I know some of you know how to work, shame about the rest. when we don't do a good job we get fired. Not enough of that happening in public sector for my liking.

bangersandmash

Kipperhell wrote: »

I think it is perfectly acceptable to talk about financial and work matters with friends. If you are bothered by your friends views I would suggest get used to it as many people who have never really done anything with the civil service have the same view.

As Celtic67 pointed out, many people consider it vulgar to openly discuss personal finances, regardless of whether someone is boasting or whining about their circumstances.

As for the rest, predictably this has turned into a public/private sector mud-slinging contest. If I was cynical I'd say that this was the intent of the OP. Certainly the thread would be right at home along with the rest in the Irish Economy section, rather than in PI.

Jo King

You should learn to laugh off the comments about dosser public servants. You are never going to convince people who have their prejudices stoked up by the media that you are hard working and deserve to earn more. I had experience of this when I was associated with the defence forces. There are constant "what do the army do all day? " comments, from people who do not know their ass from tyheir elbow about it. It is pointless trying to explain the true situation. It is equally bad to get the civil service begrudgery streak. So what if people are earning more than you and can afford a better social life. You sound like a child saying "he got more than me". Getting involved with comparing yourself tgo other people in terms of earnings is a recipe for a long life of misery. How much people earn for the hours they work is a function of market conditions and is not governed by any fairness considerations

OS119

Jo King wrote: »

You should learn to laugh off the comments about dosser public servants...

i always find thanking them for paying for the round you just bought - or, after letting rip with a hideous, alarmingly-close-to-following-through fart, wafting it towards them and telling them to breathe deep and get value for their tax dollars was always a good way of making people get bored of the subject pretty quickly.

don't get upset these goons, i've no doubt that when the boom was on they were filling their boots - its not your fault you chose a job with greater security - allbeit with less cash up front - and better pension provision etc...

the central issue is one of 'friends' being inconsiderate, boorish and vulgar in talking specifics about money, don't for one second be embarrassed because your 'friends' are chavs with no sense of social decorum.