Opinons please

LegacyUser

To cut a long story short. Boyfriend left a year ago. Took me to court over access etc to our son. Didnt do too well there. Things very frosty ever since. He knows I still have feelings for him, often plays on that.

Recently there was 2 way texting and one of the last texts he sent was 2 ask me "what I would like him to do?"

I told him its not about what I wanted him to do

He then demanded an answer to his simple question??

Now Im headwreaked wondering what he is up to???

Is he hoping I will say "come back to me, I love you etc so he will have this on his phone and show his legal team"

Or is he testing the water to see what im thinking???

I'm kind of thinking he wants to trap me into texting but Im wanting it to be to test the water ifykwim

minidazzler

If ye are in court over your son, then do not contact him with regard anything BUT your son.

You obviously don't trust him, which is fair enough, so DO NOT give him any ammunition that can be used against you.

LegacyUser

Adults don't communicate via text messages. They call each other or meet in person. If you have something specific to say to your former partner regarding your son, call him or speak to him in person. Otherwise maybe stop the juvenile text nonsense, it can't possibly be a very satisfying way to communicate. Also, you need to cut him out emotionally. He is nothing but the father of your child and you'll never meet anyone else if you are engaging in this type of behaviour.
Sorry if thats harsh, btw, but it does my head in when people say they are having a "relationship" which involves communication by text message. When did adults start acting this way?

kenbrady

watheupto? wrote: »

He knows I still have feelings for him, often plays on that.

Why would he need to test the waters if he know you have feelings for him.
If he really wanted you back he would come and get you, not demand a text answer to what you want to do.

LegacyUser

So I guess he is playing games with me. Its very hard when there is a child involved (and my feelings) you always cling onto hope

Some very valid points you have made, if he wanted me he would come and get me

kittenkiller

On a basic level, he either wants an ego boost or a quick shag.
On a more sly and devious level he might want to compile some sort of evidence.

You need to focus on what's best for your son and the family he was born into.
Do whatever you can to redirect any warm feelings you have towards him to your son and his needs.
Unless your ex comes up to you face to face and you discuss the possibility of the pair of you reuniting, assume that you'll end up hurt by any flirty texts or written admission of your feelings.

Protect yourself and your son by getting your priorities straight and sticking to the safe road until everything is sorted and you don't need to think about lawyers whenever you get a message from your ex.

Sounds like a nasty place to be OP, I hope it all works out.

jellyboy

Hi op

What do you want?

Seems like there is a lot of pain and hurt floating around?(its a guess im not there)

What have you got to lose by txting him? arent you gaining by being honest and open with your heart? if he rejects that opneness surelly he loses?

What could the lairs,oops lawyers do with ur opneness ?

i dont think that any judge would look diffo at you for saying ur heart feelings....

And a suggestion...why not go to medation(its a winner all round,less cost,clear the air ,and when ur child/children reach an age they can understand life,it wont take a lot of explaining that mammy/daddy loved them enough not to bring more pain to there life) and drop the court case,why allow solictiors to make money out of ur pain...