men who don't give compliments

LegacyUser

hi,
i have a great BF, we're together 6 months. we love each other etc but he rarely pays me a compliment. i compliment him all the time and wish he did more so. expecially if i've gone to a lot of effort getting myself all done up for a nite out, but even for little thiings.
are some guys just oblivious to it or think it's not necessary. is it just that it's my problem that i want to hear them?
he was better when we went out together first. does he think there's no need anymore cos we're together for this long?
he's not very romantic either so maybe that's just how he is. he's everything else - kind, thoughtful etc so maybe i'm asking too much?

but girls DO need compliments, right??

BroomBurner

Some people just don't realise they need to say things out loud.

RoyalMarine

of course girls need compliment's. everyone does. it helps build self esteem.
if i never recieved a compliment or only a few, i wouldn't have the confidence i do today.

perhaps you could talk to him about it? he sound's a decent fella if he's kind and thoughtful, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to try.

Eve_Dublin

Yep, I know I personally like to hear compliments from the one I love and I´d always reciprocate as guys need them just as much as we do....but I don´t think it´s something you can MAKE someone do, unfortunately. If you did tell him and he made the effort, you know it wouldn´t be genuine. I´m sure he believes you´re beautiful and wonderful and kind and all of these things or else he wouldn´t be with you...but perhaps he´s just a little shy or didn´t grow up in a household where people complimented each other very often.

Look at it this way, I live in Spain and every second man fills you with garbage about how beautiful you are, how the stars fell from the sky into your eyes blah blah. It´s part of their cuture and Latin ladies expect it but as an outsider, it can be tedious and it can out you off the person immediately. I´ve always found Irish men more genuine in that regard....when they say it, no matter how infrequently, you know they mean it. I really wouldn´t take it to heart...if he shows you he loves you in other ways like you said he does, then you´ve lucked out. It´s a very small thing in the grand scheme of things.

santana75

The only person you'll ever need compliments from is yourself. If youre looking for this guy to compliment you youre just going to be endlessly frustrated and angry. I mean a compliment from another person lasts a few minutes but one from yourself lasts a lot longer. If you can impress yourself thats all you ever need to do.

pookie82

Bit of an overreaction in my opinion. It seems like a massive insecurity to need compliments all the time. Most guys don't gush over how amazing their girlfriend looks every time she walks into a room before going out. They don't need to.

My boyfriend wouldn't be massive on compliments. The odd time he'll tell me I look great but it's mostly if I'm just sitting around relaxing in track suit bottoms, ironically. But the fact that he rarely does it makes it nicer when he does.

Don't think I'd notice or care that much if he never really verbalised his thoughts on my appearance though. I'd be far more concerned with how he acted towards me than anything he said.

LaMortis

Ah no it's not 'needing compliments all the time', it's (as the OP said) when you'd spend a lot of time to dress up it's nice if he notices and compliments you.
You know OP, my boyfriend was quite the same, he used to compliment me all the time at the beginning and then it vanished. I talked to him about it and he just said he doesn't like compliments in general (even when i compliment him). But he did mention how long he travels to see me after work every week, and travels back to work all the way across Dublin on the next morning, things he does for me and that he cares for me, and for him that's the way he shows me that he loves me. Shut me up a little because it's true. So I'm sure he notices how good you look, maybe he just wants to express it in a different way

I enjoy compliments, but I certainly would never say I needed them. Alot of girls do need compliments, but that doesnt make it healthy. Of course it's nice to hear good things about yourself but you shouldn't need to.

Either work on your self confidence so that you get to a place where you dont need compliments, or just tell this guy that you need him to boost your self esteem every once and a while. More than likely he'll understand and start giving you more compliments. Either way it's not his fault that he doesnt.

But really, do you need them?

(sorry if this sounds harsh, its just my advice)

Eve_Dublin

I don´t think the OP said she needed them, just that she´d like to hear them now and then. That´s healthy enough, I think.