Sex Issue - GF can't get wet

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Hoping you can help me with an issue I’m having with my girlfriend - basically, she finds it really hard to get wet and even when she does she finds sex uncomfortable, and painful on occasion. We’ve tried lube but I can’t penetrate at all when we do.

She isn’t comfortable with foreplay of any sort except kissing and cuddling, which is great, except that this can take 20 minutes at which stage she often decides that she has lost interest. I understand, though she’s never really discussed it, that she had similar problems with her other boyfriends. She’s 22 and I’m her third sexual partner. I’m 27 and we’ve been together just over 3 months.

Any advice? I really like this girl and I want it work – long term if possible – but I want to get this sorted too.

Hope you can help!

Taltos

Unregistered wrote: »

She isn’t comfortable with foreplay of any sort except kissing and cuddling, which is great, except that this can take 20 minutes at which stage she often decides that she has lost interest.

Hi OP.
I think you have capped it all above right there, kissing and cuddling is nice - but might not do it enough for a lot of folk...

If you are her 3rd sexual partner and the same thing keeps happening there is only one common denominator - her head.

Basically she needs to figure out what is happening in there? Something may have happened in the past that means she is uncomfortable with her own sexuality. It appears that she needs to do alot more self-exploration - either physical or mental to figure out what she wants.

Maybe also consider finding someone for her to talk to.

You though can try loads of things - maybe treat her to a nice bubble-bath, a sensual massage -and FGS take it slowly. Do not attempt penetration until she is ready otherwise you risk reinforcing whatever is going on here. Maybe even stick to manual stimulation for a few nights, or help her play with herself - this will help her see that nothing bad is happening etc.

BOL though.

opinion guy

Has she spoken to her Doctor ?
Worth outruling that there could be something medical going on perhaps, especially since its been the same over 3 relationships

LegacyUser

it can be a problem that i have sometimes. i'm with a boyfriend who i adore and really fancy but sometimes i'm not wet enough and the intercourse can hurt a bit and i have to stop. it seems to be more after we've done it a few times, as if any natural lubrication wears off. i'm always turned on, so no problem there, just the body ain't doing what it needs to do. am just about to suggest using lube to my B/F but i know he finds it hard to climax when it's too (for want of a better word) slippy below. what to do?! apart from reduce the no. of times we get it on - which would be a pity...

and at the moment i'm a little sore below, there's a teeny tear there but it's v sore. not sure what's best remedy. don't really fancy talking over the counter to the chemist! have tried vaseline and now using lanacane. been 3 days now and no real relief - help?

shellyboo

Both the OP's gf and the unreg poster need to go to the doctor and see what's up.

Faith

It's worth noting that the contraceptive pill can interfere with a woman's natural lubrication. However, she should still speak to her doctor.

Wibbs

+1 re the pill. The nuovoring(sp) can be a bugger for it. Condoms can be a nightmare too. If condoms are added to the mix on a long session they can chafe even the most turned on woman. Extra lube is the way to go there if the doc says you're otherwise fine.