Why dont I get chatted up?

LegacyUser

Hi,

OK, Im kinda confused at the mo...

Please dont think im big headed cos I am far from it but im having trouble trying to figure out why lads dont chat me up. I know I am pretty good looking (oh god i hate typing that) I have been told constantly that im lovely looking, a stunner, model material etc ex boyfriends have felt in awe of me whilst going out and mad to show me off like im sum trophy. Im just trying to get my point across here but I know i probably sound like im so full of myself but see the problem is, I just dont ever really get chatted up and if I do, its by weirdo's, like men much older than me, sleazy lads or really poor looking lads (that sounds awful and please dont go mad at me but ya know what i mean!) all my lad mates do go on about how they'd love to be with me but i always tell them no cos i dont want to mess up my friendship but when im out with the girls, im always left out when it comes to lads coming over to chat to us and Im not sulking in a corner or anything or as quiet as a mouse, i'd chat to anyone and have a laugh but then nothin else happens, what is wrong with me?

xzanti

A lot of fellas will feel intimidated by really good looking girls, or assume you're taken? why don't you make the first move? girl power and all that sh1te

Terodil

Unregistered wrote: »

Please dont think im big headed cos [I think I am totally awesome]

Well, sorry, but I do think your post came across that way. I'm only one person and not the majority or even representative but if others feel the same way, and I suspect they might, then you may have one part of your problem right there.

Unregistered wrote: »

I just dont ever really get chatted up and if I do, its by weirdo's, like men much older than me, sleazy lads or really poor looking lads [...]
i'd chat to anyone and have a laugh but then nothin else happens, what is wrong with me?

... to anyone except those aforementioned people?

I'm not sure how to read that last sentence anyway, it seems you are communicating after all ('but then nothing else happens'). Attraction is one thing, keeping them interested is another. If you reduce yourself to your outward appearance you are doing yourself a disservice.

xzanti wrote: »

A lot of fellas will feel intimidated by really good looking girls, or assume you're taken? why don't you make the first move? girl power and all that sh1te

Indeed, that could also be the case, and +1M to the advice.

I'd also suggest looking outside of clubs or pubs where people tend to either be uninterested in others (when out in a group), drunk, or on a meat bazaar.

kittenkiller

Maybe regular guys get a big headed or stuck up vibe from you?
Are you standing at the bar just waiting for a handsome guy to see you and come right on over?
Have you tried chatting a man up instead of waiting for them to come to you?
Do you cast your eyes up to heaven when someone comes over to talk to a friend of yours? (I've seen tonnes of girls do this when they realize that they're not the one the guy has his eye on.)

Bottom line: If you're not getting the right guy come on to you, make the first move yourself, at least then you'll get some sort of feedback from the type of guy you're actually interested in.

LegacyUser

Talk to the freaks, the fuglies and the old guys!

Mr Hotness could be watching from the wings! There's no point just sitting pretty, you need to look like you're having a good time, and everyone (apart from the drunks) are worth a friendly word and easy enough to ditch if they're too time consuming. Also, its more fun when you talk to randomers and you break out of that awful 'girls night out' circle of females and you're much more approachable. It sounds like a cliche but its worked for me, and my friends too.

kjl

move away from your pack a little and Im sure you will get chatted up a lot more. I would say people are not scared of talking to you, but more worried if your gang of girl will be like every other group of other drunk irish girls.

I would hit on you if you were as hot as you say, Im not wierd old or bad looking, maybe you are going to the wrong places

Warfi

Your thread title is' Why don't I get chatted up'. Then you go on to say you get chatted up but it's not by the right people.

So are you getting chatted up or not?

Your post is contradicting itself, I can only imagine you're sending out conflicting signals to men in pubs/nightclubs too. If men aren't chatting you up, go talk to them instead. They're not aliens.

Overheal

all my lad mates do go on about how they'd love to be with me but i always tell them no cos i dont want to mess up my friendship

Is that really true or is that just what you say because you arent attracted to them?

Its some twisted sick Irish stereotype that you have to meet random strangers. Theres little wrong with hooking up with friends or known associates.