Sounds like terrible advice but....?

LegacyUser

Hi folks, going unreg for this one.

I've been seeing a girl for this past 5 months. I am totally in love with her and would do anything for her. She's at uni and I'm working at home so I only really see her at the weekends but when I do I just love spending time with her. She says the exact same about me and says she loves me too. Anyway she spent the nite in mine the other nite. The next morning she got up and was getting washed and I was lying in bed and her phone was left lying beside me on the bed. She was waiting on her mum to text and had told me to shout in when she did. She got a text through but it wasnt from her mum. It was from a fella who she has grown very friendly with and I couldnt believe it when i saw it. It was a message full of unbelievably dirty talk. I know i shouldnt have but i went through more of her messages and saw more from him along the same lines. Thing is shes a virgin and is understandably very prudish about sex to me anyway so I couldnt believe what i was reading I put her phone down and never said anything to her about what i had seen.

I was talking to one of my best mates then about it yesterday. He reckons i shouldnt confront her about it directly and never let on i'd read her messages. His advice was to say i had got a text message from an unknown number telling me she had been messing about with this guy behind my back and confront her that way. What do you guys think? I dont even know for sure whats going with them in the first place.

Very confused.

opinion guy

ok so someone sending her dirty messages.

you are assuming this is something she wants.

does she respond to them ?
Perhaps this is some stalker freak who is driving her nuts and she can't get rid of ?

LegacyUser

I dont know if she responded to them or not i didnt check. Its definitely not some stalker guy driving her nuts, its a friend of hers who she spends a lot of time with.

Wibbs

Confront her. She asked you to check her phone.

shellyboo

She asked you to check her phone... she must have known there were dodgy texts on there. Seems extremely strange to me that she'd leave a phone full of filth with you if she was bothered about you seeing it.

Definitely confront her, something very fishy going on here.

opinion guy

Unregisteredude wrote: »

I would probably find the guy and give him a warning. A very physical warning. But that's just me.

Very VERY bad idea.


OP what I think is this
- tell her what you found and ask her what it means. Do not confront her.


whilst i realise this is disconcerting to you, i think its far too easy to jump to conclusions here without any real evidence of anything. For example - could this guy be her gay-best-friend or soemthing ? I ask because gay guys I have known would often exchange far more raunchy comments with girls than any straight guy would get away with. I also think - she is your GF and as you say is prudish about sex. I therefore doubt she woudl continue to date you in a prudish manner and have an openly sexual relationship with another guy, and i would think such texts are likely to be in jest for one reason or another. I could be wrong. coudl be flirting. but theres no real reason to assume one way or another


I guess what i'm sayin is - yes enquire about this as you found out legitimately. If she asks why you didn't say anything striahg taway say you were shocked and didn't know how to react. but i would avoid interrogating her lest there is an innocent reason behind it as in that case you would only drive her away.

Edit: and definitely don't make up any stories about getting tip offs or such rubbish