is he just not into me ????

greengirl31

Do you know what ... Men baffel me !!! Have been single now for 2 years following an extermely bad break up with the ex but finally started to dip my toe into the single pond again. Anyway was out last weekend and met a lovely guy ... Hit it off straight away and were chatting for ages ... i felt very comfortable around him and we exchanged numbers ... All good so far... anyway a few txts back and forth on Sunday and Monday then nothing ... I think it's unfair that we expect men to do all the work so I txt him again on Wednesday - lighthearted chit chat and that was fine then nothing again so I thought I'm just going to bite the bullet and ask him to meet up ... He lives about an hour or so out of Dublin so I asked him was he going to be in the big smoke over the weekend and he said no but he'd be up during the week ... I asked if he wanted to meet up and he said "SURE" - but he wasn't sure what day/night he'd be up ... I kept iy light and said Right I'll clear my diary and let me know when you're going to be around - he replied no problem that he wouldn't keep me hanging ... that was grand I said I hoped he had a nice weekend and I'd let him get back to work ... That was friday lunchtime and I haven't heard anything since .... It just dawned on me this evening though when I was about to pick up the phone to txt him that I was the one who iniated contact all the time ...
is he just lazy or as the film says is "he not that into me! ????

minidazzler

He's just not that into you.

Scarce texting means he just couldn't be arsed really.

Drop it, move on, the single pool is HUGE and has a few good ones in there. (Me for example, although I like swimming:P)

Nervous Wreck

He told you two days ago that he'll be around next week and he'll let you know what day when he knows... Chill out.

Doesn't sound like he's that pushed tbh but he could easily be up for it, ya just gotta wait and see. I wouldn't initiate contact again though......

Chinafoot

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

He told you two days ago that he'll be around next week and he'll let you know what day when he knows... Chill out.

Yeah you need to relax. He might still not be sure what day he's coming up. Its Sunday, his plans might not be concrete yet.

I'd definitely stop with the texting though. You'll come across as far too needy and desperate. He's said he'll let you know so leave it til he does..... and if he doesn't, forget him.

Raze_them_all

Maybe he's just lazy like me. Some guys dfont plan stuff way ahead some just go with the flow.

mood

Chinafoot wrote: »

Yeah you need to relax. He might still not be sure what day he's coming up. Its Sunday, his plans might not be concrete yet.

I'd definitely stop with the texting though. You'll come across as far too needy and desperate. He's said he'll let you know so leave it til he does..... and if he doesn't, forget him.

I think so as well.

Any key?

men won't need to be reminded to text you if their into you

Also they like the chase.If you're too eager and forward it rarely works out.

Jules

moved from tLL.

ash23

greengirl31 wrote: »

He lives about an hour or so out of Dublin so I asked him was he going to be in the big smoke over the weekend and he said no but he'd be up during the week ... I asked if he wanted to meet up and he said "SURE" - but he wasn't sure what day/night he'd be up ... I kept iy light and said Right I'll clear my diary and let me know when you're going to be around - he replied no problem that he wouldn't keep me hanging ... that was grand I said I hoped he had a nice weekend and I'd let him get back to work ... That was friday lunchtime and I haven't heard anything since .... It just dawned on me this evening though when I was about to pick up the phone to txt him that I was the one who iniated contact all the time ...
is he just lazy or as the film says is "he not that into me! ????

Ok, so he told you he was going to be up NEXT week nd you told him to have a nice weekend. That would indicate you didn't expect to hear from him til he knew when he was coming up to Dublin so give him a break. Stop texting him. Give him a chance to get back to you.

But are you kidding me when you say you told him you'd clear your diary!!! Seriously? What sort of image does that portray that you are willing to hang around all week on the off chance he is up? Now, even if you are willing, you should still be aloof! He said he was going to be up at some point next week. The correct response is "well it'd be good to see you so give me a shout when you're up and we'll try to meet up".

I don't like playing games but you have to keep some mystery and not come across as too eager too early while also trying not to appear disinterested.

greengirl31

Thanks for the relpies folks ... I've calmed myself down and realised i was getting way ahead of myself !!!!
I suppose I'm a fairly straightforward person and if I like someone I don't see the point in skirting around the issue but I suppose that's how the dating game has gone now ... However, I think i'd rather lose someone knowing i'd been up front about where i was at rather than kicking myself for not having let them know i liked them .... I know i used to hate waiting for the phone to ring when I was younger but at least you knew if he rang by wednesday, thursday the very latest he was interested and if he didn't he wasn't. txting has ruined things I think . The clearing the diary thing was ment as a joke though - I doubt he'd take it up that i was at his beck and call - if he does though It's an easy thing to correct ...
Anyway, as I said, I've cooled my jets and I'll just wait and see ... who said this dating lark was fun

seahorse

greengirl31 wrote: »

... I kept iy light and said Right I'll clear my diary and let me know when you're going to be around

This was, in my opinion, a mistake. You should never clear your diary for any man. Making an arrangement to meet is one thing, but clearing your diary????? Jesus, I wouldn't do that for my own bloke and we've been together seven years!

greengirl31

as I said - the clearing the diary comment was a joke ... I wish i had a diary to clear !!!
perhaps it was a mistake but if this does go any further I'm sure it won't take to long to clear it up ...

Miss Fluff

greengirl31 wrote: »

as I said - the clearing the diary comment was a joke ... I wish i had a diary to clear !

I read that as being WAY too keen tbh OP. Not being harsh but while you were joking it came accross as you saying that you were literally going to make yourself available every single evening....comes accross as a bit desperate.

Quit with the contacting/texting and let him instigate something.

Sephiroth_dude

Dont bother txting him anymore,wait and see if contacts you,if he does yay and if he does'nt oh well :-).

lala stone

greengirl31 wrote: »

as I said - the clearing the diary comment was a joke ... I wish i had a diary to clear !!!
perhaps it was a mistake but if this does go any further I'm sure it won't take to long to clear it up ...

I know this harsh but if u have only started dating, ur not really sure how things work.,, he prob is into u but not that into u,,, just delete his no and see what happens.. gud luck!

LegacyUser

I am in the exact same position as you,out of a long term thing 2 years etc!Its so confusing,I cant understand men at all since coming back into this game, I just think even if they are not into you thats its just rude not to reply to text messages.Just be straight about it like instead of saying one thing and doing the opposite!Have things changed that much,if they have its scary.Best of luck in the game,it certainly is a challenge!

greengirl31

Well I haven't heard anything from him since last Friday ... so that's that ...
I will say that I enjoyed the flirting and got a little ego boost so it wasn't all in vain ... I'll chalk it down to experiance and know what not to do the next time ... However, all this coy mysterious behaviour will take a bit of getting used to - I can't remember it being this difficult when I was in my early 20's or am I looking through rose tinted glasses seen as that was 10 years ago ...
I'm not looking for a husband but I'm not looking for casual sex either ... is there a happy medium and how do I get to it ... ???

LegacyUser

It really has changed,i got back into the whole scene a while ago and you have loads of situations like this to come across,anything you could possibly imagine and yes I think text messaging has a lot to answer for,in my own opinion its more of a hindrance than a help most of the time and men often behind hide behind the phone.I had a similar experience lately to yours and i am still trying to figure it out!I just considered him downright rude!