advice on how to attract guys.

LegacyUser

hi guys - i am single with nearly 2 years now. yikes. And latelt im fed up on my own. I met one one two guys during the last 2 years but they didnt work. When im out i do see guys checking me out but i wouldnt have the confidence to approach them at all, I tend to act as if im not interested! Yes i know stupid but i guess im shy too. Can anyone advise me what i could do?? Im going out for drinks this week and i dont want to come home again thinking - damn, why didnt i approach him!

Wibbs

Smile at them. Works a charm on men. Works on me and any of my mates anyway. Say hello if you feel a little more adventurous. Don't do subtle. Most men don't get subtle. Look at how the men in your past showed their intentions towards you. I'd be pretty sure they were pretty clear about it.

opinion guy

yup gotta agree with wibbs. simple thing like a smile or even just hi delivered with confidence and warmth will get you talking. I know u are lacking the confidence right now - but fake it for now and eventually with experience it will become ingrained

kildarelad

Exactly give them a smile nd they will come over.Im a single fella and when im trying to catch a girls eye if she smiles at me thats my signal to go over and chat to her

LegacyUser

silly question but just a normal friendly smile or a flirty smile to show i like him?

kildarelad

A normal friendly smile.Im a lad and i often find it hard to know whether to approach a girl or not in case she has a boyfriend or isnt interested.However a friendly smile encourages you to approach

opinion guy

Normal friendly smile. Smile that says hi i'm nice non-crazy person.
Flirty smile from someone you don't know is kinda weird and would make you seem too desperate.

kenbrady

gfdkhfgfj wrote: »

but i wouldnt have the confidence to approach them at all,

I tend to act as if im not interested! Yes i know stupid

As said above a friendly smile with a few lingering looks.

If they look away or don't come over, it could be because they are shy, lack the confidence and are pretending not to be interested. Same way you do, so don't think it's a knock back.

Remember if they come over it's because they want to talk to you, so you should have no confidence issues then. You have the upper hand and the power in that situation, but be nice don't abuse it.

ash23

Lol OP. I find it hard to meet guys too. Once I am introduced to someone I'm flying it, chatting away etc.
It seems so simple....just smile. My problem is I tend to be a bit oblivious when I'm out. I concentrate very much on the people I am with. I wouldn't even notice a guy checking me out.
I also have bad eyesight and hate wearing my glasses out. Time for contacts me thinks

Obviously I just need to be more aware of my surroundings rather than going around in my usual bubble.

G-Money

As a guy myself I know it's not easy to approach women. At least not for me. All sorts of thoughts go through my head, mostly negative ones. You are dreading her freaking out, being rude, embarrasing you, or my personal favourite, getting a look of horror and disgust as she see's me coming over and realises I'm coming over to say hello.

Fair play to Wibbs who goes straight in when he gets the queue. I on the other hand don't. I know I lack confidence and have low self-esteem so even if I seen a girl smiling at me, I'd just assume she's being friendly. Although I don't tend to look at girls long enough for them to give me that signal. Even if they did, I'd probably not cop on.

I guess if I were to meet you in a bar I'd like you to be friendly and chatty and not be too full on. One thing you could maybe do is if you see a guy at the bar waiting to order a drink, go up to order one yourself and just stand near him. Then just make some sort of comment like "Taking ages to get served tonight". Just anything at all to break the ice.

I don't know what your body language is like but try not to stand there, arms crossed looking angry. No guy will approach you if he thinks you seem like a cold b****. I'm not saying you are, but some girls complain that they can't meet guys and wonder why and it's because they're coming across as cold and unfriendly and the type who'd tell you to f*** off if you even just asked them for directions.

I remember one night being in the Temple Bar and I was out with a few lads and me and one of the guys sort of got separated from the rest. We were chatting to each other and I noticed this girl kind of hanging around near me. I got the impression she wanted to ask me something but I'm not sure. Eventually at one point she asked me something about some type of drink (she was a foreigner) and we chatted for a bit. A while later I bumped into her again and got chatting to her a bit more. My mate was convinced she was into me but I wasn't so sure (low self esteem again). She had to go meet her mates so I told her to enjoy her time in Dublin. Anyway me and my mate went to leave and somehow we bumped into her and her friends again. Again he was convinced she was into me but he'd had a few drinks so I didn't really believe him. Me, her, my mate and one of her friends went to another bar and got chatting there a bit more. I could tell I was starting to get the flu at this point so I was hesitant to make a move as I was coughing constantly. We kept chatting and she asked if I wanted to meet up the following night as her and her friends were going out. I agreed to this and we swapped numbers and email addresses. But even then I was still not sure she was interested. In the end I got really badly sick the next day and couldn't go. But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes it's really hard to know if a girl is interested. Sometimes it's really obvious, but that tends to be the exception rather than the rule.

If you are chatting to some guy, laugh and be friendly, touch him on the arm as you talk and stuff. If you are anyway sound (which I'm sure you are) you'll be well sorted.

If all else fails, send me a PM and I'll give you my number

Good luck

thee glitz

Wibbs wrote: »

Don't do subtle. Most men don't get subtle.

Ye

994

Wibbs wrote: »

Most men don't get subtle.

Women don't get subtle either, because men know that subtle is a terrible plan.;)

BumbleB

gfdkhfgfj wrote: »

hi guys - i am single with nearly 2 years now. yikes. And latelt im fed up on my own. I met one one two guys during the last 2 years but they didnt work. When im out i do see guys checking me out but i wouldnt have the confidence to approach them at all, I tend to act as if im not interested! Yes i know stupid but i guess im shy too. Can anyone advise me what i could do?? Im going out for drinks this week and i dont want to come home again thinking - damn, why didnt i approach him!

The answer is very simple Do what every girl does ,if you see a guy you like ,move over within 4 feet of him .Stand there talking to a friend, get friend to leave while he's watching , move closer to him.

LegacyUser

ok so if a relatively good looking girl talks to a guy in a bar - will you tell her f off and laugh at her? thats what i dread will happen

Nervous Wreck

^^Never.


EDIT: I would never do that and neither would any lad I know. I'm sure it has happened before and will happen again to people but it's not a regular thing (unless you're a mentaller). When people are out and about, chatting to strangers is a big assload of fun. For me and my mates anyway. It's most of the reason I go out. So I wouldn't worry about it!

BumbleB

op again wrote: »

ok so if a relatively good looking girl talks to a guy in a bar - will you tell her f off and laugh at her? thats what i dread will happen

I second nervous wreck ,it doesn't happen. (This is going to sound big headed but its actually true and btw I'm no Johnny Depp).

On an average night out at least 5 girls will approach me and I'm never rude to any of them.

There's loads of girls out there now that will go straight up and talk to lads these days.Youre not alone here at all. Go for it girl ,life isn't a dress rehearsal !

lala stone

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

^^Never.


EDIT: I would never do that and neither would any lad I know. I'm sure it has happened before and will happen again to people but it's not a regular thing (unless you're a mentaller). When people are out and about, chatting to strangers is a big assload of fun. For me and my mates anyway. It's most of the reason I go out. So I wouldn't worry about it!

where is the line crossed when your simply smiling and coming across like a mentaller?!! If I could only get that balance lol!!

minidazzler

op again wrote: »

ok so if a relatively good looking girl talks to a guy in a bar - will you tell her f off and laugh at her? thats what i dread will happen

No, there are VERY few lads who will tell a good looking girl chatting them up to F-off.

I am quite self-conscious and have quite low self-esteem at times, so I might worry I am being played, but generally I won't show it and I will chat to anyone.