So hurt and betrayed

LegacyUser

Six months back, I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me while on holiday. I was absolutely crushed, as I'd suspected and he'd denied it. He even had a long chat and told me I was brilliant and he could never cheat on me, and I needed to stop being so paranoid. Well, I ended up reading his phone (I know, I know) which confirmed that it was true. I immediately dumped him as I refused to put up with that treatment. We kept in contact, calling around for tea and texting, he told me he was going to take some time being single, and I thought, at least he's learned from his mistake. Or so I thought!! I found a link to this girl's Twitter on his Facebook, and it turns out he's been seeing her since 4 days after we broke up! So that mean he probably had something going long before that, as she was a friend. I feel so crushed and humiliated all over again. I believed him when he said he was single, and it was just another lie. To make matters worse, he even tried to kiss me on several occasions, when he would have been with her! And it's a serious relationship as well, she's moved back to Canada, and they fly over to see each other every month. She keeps writing about how in love she is. It's making me feel sick. How can anyone be so cruel?

Wibbs

That's a common enough type in men and women. Line up replacements while they're still seeing someone. Indeed if someone starts going out with another within a month of a split, most of the time that's been going on in advance or planned in advance. I've had a few exes like that. Couldn't face being without a Boyfriend tm as an emotional and social accessory. One actually caught me out. Didn't spot it at all. I thought she was single when we started something. Turned out she had been still living with a guy on our first proper date. :rolleyes: Of course did the same to me when we split. Had a guy lined up for about a month before. Found out afterwards that she had never been single since she was 14.:D Daft. On that score you should feel like bullet dodged. you really should. That type of guy is selfish and when the luuuurve wears off that always comes out. It's not cruelty as such. They simply don't think of others enough. Same with the trying to kiss you. Selfish.

Secondly delete the facebook thing for gods sake as that's just going to make you feel worse and massively delay your healing.

LegacyUser

Thanks Wibbs. I will delete the FB but the damage is done to my head (and heart!) I just can't believe he could do this. The going out with the friend soon after is one thing, but it was right after he cheated on me with a different girl! The new girl was posting about her wonderful new relationship, but in fact he was still trying it on with me. The nerve of him! He comes across as such a lovely, genuine guy as well. He had me well and truly fooled and I've always thought I was a good judge of character. I feel so stupid.

kittenkiller

You poor thing!
That's a nasty thing to find out.

But, try to move on.
He cheated on you, he's a scumbag who you're better off without.
The extent of the cheating isn't important. Focusing on that will only drag you down.
He wasn't even a friend to you by doing this not to mention a significant other/partner etc.!

No good will come out of you digging for more details, following him online (I know, I know it's just so damn tempting), trying to find photos of her, figuring out when each pic was taken in case it was while you two were still together, looking through old SMS/MMS's, analyzing things he said to you and how he couldn't have meant them...
The list of self torture methods could go on infinitely.
Success is the best revenge. Move on, have fun, be happy, try not to let a bad experience taint the next relationship you have.
We all have ex's.
Unless they were an amazing person (or later became a hollywood star/billionaire), they're probably not even worth remembering.

Treat yourself to something nice this weekend.
Sounds like you deserve some spoiling to distract you.

Best of luck.