Hot and Cold:Opinions needed!

LegacyUser

Hi there,
Just back in the dating scene after a long absence,have been out of a long relationship for a year and have met a good few guys in the interim but have had no interest.Until now,I meet this guy out one night and we instantly are attracted.At the end of the night we spoke at length we kissed,chatted for ages more and exchanged numbers.Got a good few texts from him that nite after I got him,was texting full time for two days and he then asked me out for dinner, I thought what the hell he seems like a nice guy,we met for dinner,had a great time and we were very comfortable with each other.Got home and got texts from him saying he wanted to meet again so we arranged ot for the weekend.We met for lunch on the sat and literally spent the whole day together,had a great laugh and really clicked.So for about a week we were meeting up when then there were no more invitations to meet up, my offers were declined in the line of been given excuses.He seemed to get rude by not replying to my texts when i'd ask him a specific question.Naturally I got fed up cos it now seemed I was making all the effort.We werent going out I know so I decided not to initiate contact and I didnt hear from him for 4 days,no text,nothing.Until last sat nite he text me asking me to call to his house at 2am for a drink after he came in from pub?I was in my bed and I consider myself to be more than a booty call so I declined the offer.I def dont think I was wrong, but guess what, no contact from him since!
I didnt know for sure if I really liked the guy but I gave him a chance and then kinda did and now he is gone all cold on me,is there any light any male can spread on this syndrome!!I dont know how to play this game and thats what it seems like!Can anyone help me for future reference!Thanks

Liam Byrne

No real "answer" to this one, I'm afraid.......I remember meeting up with someone who didn't seem the one-night-stand type, and we got on pretty OK (slightly too quiet for me, but worth a few meet-ups), but when I asked about a repeat I got the "just out of something" story.

Took that in good faith, only to hear later that she met a guy two weeks later and was going out with him.

Basically, you'll never know unless you try. And unfortunately, by giving it a try, you end up getting a slap in the face from some people, and also meeting the "OMG/WTF" headwreckers too, or the "I love you after 2 dates" ones.

But every so often you meet someone who's on your level and puts a smile on your face; and that's what makes it all worthwhile.

So hang in there, and best of luck!

LegacyUser

Thanks Liam, it just baffles me that he couldnt have been straight up,I prob wouldnt have minded but just this non responsive or late night texting is just mind boggling!Why go out to purposely wreck someones head like!!

Monkey61

Well let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a minute. You don't know him very well yet so perhaps there was something really stressful going on in his life for the little while that he wasn't really responding to texts, that he didn't feel comfortable telling you about - problems in work, sick relative, sibling in trouble. Who knows?

Now as to the 2am text, well, that's what drunk people do sometimes. You know yourself how it can be if you have had a few and are in a great mood and suddenly want to see someone, it doesn't really occur to you that it is 2am, they are probably in bed and not feeling the same way as you are. Obviously it is never a good idea, but it may not have been as sinister as "oh I want some sex, let's see if I can get her to come round." It is possible that he hasn't contacted you since because he is embarrassed about the text and thinks he has blown it.

Anyway, none of this could be true and he could just not really like you that much, but it is a possibility anyway.

If you like him, there's no harm in asking him straight out what is going on. At least then you will know.