older girl.. not even that much older

LegacyUser

Howdy..

I've came out of a relationship about 6 months ago.. I was out the last week with a few friends and we merged with a group that were friends with one of the guys I know. Anyways i end up chatting to this girl and it goes pretty well we are into the same things etc. Kissed her before she went home..exchanged numbers she said she didnt want a "boyfriend thing" right now and i thought score.. I just wanted to get back into the swing of things..

So I texted her last night (i had a busy busy week) just asking how she was blah blah.. and she jumps onto the age difference.. which i never really thought about.. Im going on 22 and she is 28. So.. i took the hint and said it was fine and talk to you later..im not offended and made a joke about getting into my cradle and she made a few about seducing young men.

But its sorta pissing me off now.. not a huge amount.. But its such a silly thing to dismiss someone by(or is it).. She said she thinks I'm nice and good looking or whatever (and ok maybe someone going on 30 wants different things..but she said she wasnt looking for something serious) its a shock i suppose because i was going out with a 26 year old in my last relationship and it was pretty good and a friend of mine the same age is with a 29 year old..

Just wondering what you guys think? Would you not go for someone younger.. or what?
Like it obviously wasn't in the way until she found out about my age.. I wasnt talking about playdough to her like..

Or do girls not like younger guys.. I was shocked by my last relationship but i just accepted it.

I always want to send her a text telling her she is silly for dismissing somebody she got on well with over age..

Red Hand

She might be into only older guys. Sure, your last relationship was with someone older, but that really means nothing. Your ex and this girl are totally different people, and it really may not matter how "mature" you are-once you're put in a category (and this category is age), you are stuck there.

ash23

I met a guy last year. He was lovely, we clicked, we kissed, swapped nubers etc. I did think he was a bit younger than me, maybe 24 or so (I was 26).

But he told me he was 20!!!!!:eek:
I nearly died. He was maintaining the same as you, he had finished school, set up his own business, had his own place etc. His mum was older than his dad, his mate was dating a 27 year old......

I bought it and ended up seeing him a couple more times. And I really liked him. And I went home and had a little cry when I ended it.

It's not the 6 years for me that were the problem (nearly 7 years really). It was his age. Had I been 36 and him 30 I would probably have been more open to the idea.

But I know what I want from a relationship. I want it to progress to getting married and having children. That is my goal from a relationship. And I want all that within the next few years. I don't want to be with someone for years and years and not have it progress anywhere. I did that in my early 20s. But I couldn't expect a 23/24/25 year old to want to jump into that. Lots of growing to do and seeing the world etc. And as he was turning 23/24/25 I would be turning 29/30/31......


Doesn't mean she doesn't like you. She just feels, as I did, that the age gap means you guys are incompatible.

dogbert27

At 28 she might she herself as being married in 2-3 years time and wanting to start a family.
At 22 do you see that for yourself in 2-3 years time?

Monkey61

Agree with above. She is 28. Chances are she wants marriage and kids in the next few years and thus wants to be getting with somebody now to build that kind of relationship with -which, even though it could be what you want, more than likely isn't. And I imagine she thinks it isn't really something she could bring up with you just to check on your second date - as no doubt that would ruin the fun and have you running for the hills.

Sure you said yourself that you aren't looking for a relationship anyway and were delighted when she said she wasn't. To be honest though, she probably only said that because she wasn't looking for one with you and didn't want you to get the wrong idea.

I understand where she is coming from though. I am 26 and going out with someone much younger. I wanted a mortgage, marriage and all that in a couple of years with someone, but I know that because of her age it definitely won't be with her.

G-Money

If she's not interested for whatever reason, delete her number and move on. There's plenty of other girls out there. Don't do your head in over it.

Sanjuro

Personally, I wouldn't have a problem dating someone younger than me, by about 7 years or so. But it would totally have to depend on maturity. I'm 28 now, so dating someone who's 21 would be a little strange at first. I know at 21, I was like a child, so I wouldn't want to date someone like that. But if she was pretty cool and we got on, age wouldn't matter.

As it happens, the last girl I went out with was six months younger than me, but incredibly immature. Things got pretty bad and we broke up, and then she unleashed immaturity the like of which I've never experienced before and hope never to experience again. So what I'm saying is, it's not age, it's maturity. Seems your girl just jumped the gun and presumed you wouldn't be mature enough for her. No loss there, really.

CDfm

there is a good thread in the gentlemans club "cemented vagina"

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055709744

the question is could you be friends with her if sex was off the table and if you could then thats reason to contact her IMHO.If you had a friendship maybe she would see you differently.