What Should I Do

LegacyUser

Hi, Just looking for some pointer maybe from the female perspective.

Im a fella in his late 20's. Never really had a relaionship, had a cpl of opportunities over the years but passed them up for whatever reason, i.e. not really into the person, friend was into them more so i stepped aside etc.

Now the thing is that it never really bothered me. I like to party or whatever and was relativley happy alone. This is no longer the case. I now feel ready to have a relaionship with someone, but the thing is throughout all the years of drinking hard etc. I think i never really developed the game for want of a better word.

Now i believe i am a nice fella, I maybe a little moody at times but try to be nice to people . I ve been told I am a good looking guy, (sometimes I have my doubts) and I have a good job, future prospects etc all the usual seems to be in place, im trying not to sound arrogant or matter of fact about the above, just trying to be honest.

Now I have had a number of "crushes" where i saw myself with that person but it never came about. Looking back i think if ihad done things differently things may have been different but who knows.

I have lots of friend and go out alot, the thing is I tend to get quite drunk on nights out, very infact and i am sure this is part of the problem. Another may be I have quite high standards, not trying to be shallow but i only seem to be attracted to certain girls. Now this may not be the girl that everybody sees as attractive or anything but lets just say that there isn't many that do it for me.

I also fear I may come across as being sleazy or creepy, sometimes when out and after a couple I may say something in jest trying to be flirty/suggestive that doesn't seem to get a great reaction if you know what i mean.

So I guess I just wonder is there is anything I should do differently, I am starting to watch lots of friends etc. get settled / married and I fear I may become the lonely mid 30's guy sitting at the bar crying into his pint...exagerating there for effect but you know wha I mean.

I recently had a "nearly" i was smitten but when she told me to calm things down a bit I panicked and ended up ruining it totally.

I realise i need to drink less / and i think i should make a concience effort to smile more, but despite what I have stated above about myself I still lack confidence / self esteem in relation to this and i think it is becoming a vicious circle.

Any Ideas.

AthAnRi

Maybe your looking in all the wrong places. A pub or club is a bad place to try and pick up a girlfriend simply because there are so many wolves out there women are kinda on the defensive.

Also try not to overthink it. Be a little bit more direct. If you see a girl you like approach her ask her if she would like to go on a date and get her number.