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Dealing with regret and worry

  • 14-10-2009 11:22am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this, or even what my question is. In the past few weeks I've done something incredibly silly and it's bothering me non-stop.

    I met a girl a few weeks back, and despite not having a lot in common there was a huge physical spark between the two of us. I haven't a lot of experience, and apart from a holiday I never had a one-night stand before. We had sex one (and used protection), but we fooled around another few days. I ended it a couple of days ago, because I'm just not ready for a full-on relationship at the moment, and our personalities just weren't compatible in the long term. So I didn't feel that having sex on a regular basis was such a good idea, and to continue with it would just lead to more complications down the line.

    Now, although we did use protection when we had sex, we didn't when we were just messing around (oral and playing with each other). But I think we were careful enough. I did end up with blood on my hand the last time I saw her (according to herself that was her period). All the same, I just can't get the thought out of my head that at the back of it all there's a chance she could have got pregnant - and that's just eating away at me inside. I know the die is cast now, but I seem to be worrying about this all day, and it's affecting my sleeping, work and eating. I'm going to get STI tested anyway, but that's not worrying me as much as the pregnancy scare. Although I'm in my mid-20's, I'd really hate having to explain something like this to my parents - they'd feel I'd have let them down, and not listened to their advice over the years.

    I don't know why I'm so worried. But I feel like I've been very stupid or something. I'd never normally have done something like that. And now I'm in a state, thinking the life I had could change very quickly with one phone call. I definitely won't be doing anything like this again, and if learning that lesson is all that comes out of this then I'll probably be better off. Any advice at all would be a real help, even just a reassurance that the chance of pregnancy isn't that high (which if I wasn't involved I'd say from reading the story).


Comments



  • I think your feelings are common enough, OP. Some people just aren't cut out for one night stands. I'm far too much of a worrier and too hard on myself to have casual sex. Tried it once and it was a huge mistake. It's the thought of 'what if something happened?' I know that logically, the risk of getting pregnant from a ONS is no higher than in a relationship but the consequences are unthinkable - to me, anyway. The worrying ruins any fun I might have, so it's just not worth it. I wouldn't worry too much about this encounter - you used protection and you did all you could. I would suggest sticking to sex in relationships if you are a worrier as generally there is less to worry about in that way!


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