so weird

LegacyUser

how can a good looking guy like me still never have been kissed when he is 19. i was always a bit detached growing up, school discos i wouldnt be bothered with. i know a lot of ugly people who have got laid but me im still a frigid or whatever this word is.

my personality is so ****. i dont act like a real person. i can't make relationships with anyone. in school girls hug guys and there so at ease but me im so awkward.

what to do?

minidazzler

Goodlooking is nothing without personality mate. It will make you come across as a douchebag.

Take your post for example, "i know a lot of ugly people who have got laid", does that seem like something a person with some tact and personality would say?

Do you have friends? I presume you go out every now and then to clubs or whatever?

Well when you are out clubbing little personality is needed so just chat a girl up. Don't come across as a douche just act nice but not too nice.

Just relac a little, and don't rely on your looks because truth be told you might not be as good looking as you think.

krudler

pleashelp wrote: »

how can a good looking guy like me still never have been kissed when he is 19. i was always a bit detached growing up, school discos i wouldnt be bothered with. i know a lot of ugly people who have got laid but me im still a frigid or whatever this word is.

my personality is so ****. i dont act like a real person. i can't make relationships with anyone. in school girls hug guys and there so at ease but me im so awkward.

what to do?

Stop referring to other people as ugly for one, grow up and get over the fact you seem to think you're better than other people when they're the ones getting the girls

kittenkiller

Maybe people aren't comfortable around you.
If that's the case you need to learn how to put people at their ease.

Do you have many friends?
Any female friends?
If so ask their advice as they'll know you better than randomers on the internet.
I mean, there could be hundreds of reasons you're not getting any action, we can't tell.

Is there anyone in particular you'd like to kiss?
This would be a good starting point.

Liam Byrne

krudler wrote: »

Stop referring to other people as ugly for one, grow up and get over the fact you seem to think you're better than other people when they're the ones getting the girls

Not that I'm excusing them (because a lot of the PC bull**** that's floating around now lets people makes excuses for all sorts) but I think the OP seems to have bigger issues, and already knows this issue to an extent.

pleashelp wrote: »

my personality is so ****. i dont act like a real person.

That is obvious from the objectionable references in the original post.

pleashelp, bear in mind what was said above, and try to improve your personality, bit by bit, until you don't look at other people as "ugly" and don't feel the need to ask "what's wrong" or "how come", when you've actually typed the answer in your own post.

Apart from extremely shallow so-called "socialites" and the odd fun one-nighter, looks will count for little or nothing if there isn't a reasonably positive, fun and engaging personality to back them up.

But the good news is that you can improve your outlook and personality, and the first step would be to not look down on other people.

Elmer Blooker

Original post: remember one thing - good looks mean nothing for a guy, a woman with a good body and face can walk through life. In fact good looks are a disadvantage for a guy, I've a very dark mediterranean appearance and yes I'm very good looking but you wouldn't believe the hostility (for no reason) I've encountered from an awful lot of women over the years. Another reaction from women is turning their backs on me when in company. No, I'm not over sensitive or imagining things, women are just uncomfortable around good looking guys and that's just the way they react.

kittenkiller

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

No, I'm not over sensitive or imagining things, women are just uncomfortable around good looking guys and that's just the way they react.

I'm not.

RossFixxxed

WOOOOAH there's a big over generalisation!

ALL women are uncomfortable around off green hedges too you know. No no no, cop on there. The real issues are:

1) The OP's attitude as addressed
2) What factors are pushing women away (see 1 for a start)
3) The stupid mad (often PUA) theories about women that people spout.


Generally I find in these cases if ALL women are to blame, YOU are.

And if the 'ugly' people can get laid and you can't then there must be something very 'ugly' about you perhaps? (See point 1 yet again)

Perhaps speak to a councellor or doctor? Maybe your **** personality (as you put it) is due to something more serious? Or maybe you are just like that.

Malari

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

No, I'm not over sensitive or imagining things, women are just uncomfortable around good looking guys and that's just the way they react.

The way women react to you could be nothing to do with your appearance. That's your baseless assumption.

OP, it's not just about looks. You need to just start by talking. I don't find it easy to make conversation either, by the way, small talk scares me! I bet your personality isn't ****, but the older you get and the more people you meet, you will get a broader range of personalities. You will probably also feel more comfortable with you are, instead of thinking you are not like anyone else. In school I would have felt a little on the outside too. It will get easier I reckon.

LegacyUser

OP,

I have a friend who currently models. He has done countless promotions for big name brands and been on TV on shows such as Ireland AM. He is the most quiet, shy and inward person I have ever met. When out with him girls are always coming up and telling me how goodlooking he is but quess what? He never pulls. Girls approach him (says a lot) all the time but it never goes anywhere because of his personality. Meanwhile I, someone who would be goodlooking but nowhere near his level, get a lot of girls through simply engaging them. A lot of women will initially see looks but unlike men they subconciously won't act on these urges unless there is *something* else there to keep them attracted. My friend has a lot of girls wherever he goes that want to shag him but when they go talk to him he quickly goes down in their estimation.

Elmer Blooker

baseless assumption........... how do you know?
we all have our opinions, you stick to your's and I'll stick to mine! ok

Malari

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

baseless assumption........... how do you know?
we all have our opinions, you stick to your's and I'll stick to mine! ok

I quoted your statement that women generally are uncomfortable around good looking men. That's not true.

Whether it is the case for you is a different matter. I don't think it's that relevant for the OP because women may be uncomfortable around some men for different reasons. You cannot make a generalisation like that.

LegacyUser

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

Original post: remember one thing - good looks mean nothing for a guy, a woman with a good body and face can walk through life. In fact good looks are a disadvantage for a guy, I've a very dark mediterranean appearance and yes I'm very good looking but you wouldn't believe the hostility (for no reason) I've encountered from an awful lot of women over the years. Another reaction from women is turning their backs on me when in company. No, I'm not over sensitive or imagining things, women are just uncomfortable around good looking guys and that's just the way they react.

Sorru but you obviously have little experience of the real world. Your statement is garbage, FACT.

Elmer Blooker

I've little experience of the real world!!! who the **** are you to say that
I'm talking about years of experience, I bet I'm nearly twice your age.... lets hear some of your opinions

RossFixxxed

Going way OT here. OP: WHY do you not form relationships with people? Why are you so negative on your personality?

And naturally do you not see the connection here? Bad personaity, no relationships with people = no ladies.

scarymoon1

ahgtd wrote: »

OP,

I have a friend who currently models. He has done countless promotions for big name brands and been on TV on shows such as Ireland AM. He is the most quiet, shy and inward person I have ever met. When out with him girls are always coming up and telling me how goodlooking he is but quess what? He never pulls. Girls approach him (says a lot) all the time but it never goes anywhere because of his personality. Meanwhile I, someone who would be goodlooking but nowhere near his level, get a lot of girls through simply engaging them. A lot of women will initially see looks but unlike men they subconciously won't act on these urges unless there is *something* else there to keep them attracted. My friend has a lot of girls wherever he goes that want to shag him but when they go talk to him he quickly goes down in their estimation.

so because he is shy and quiet he goes down in their estimation?! everyone is different and if were all average looking with great personalities it would be a boring world. same as if we were all good looking with **** personalities. variety is the spice of life. Your 'friend' may be inward etc but that doesnt meen he has a **** personality - he is who he is.

Liam Byrne

ahgtd wrote: »

A lot of women will initially see looks but unlike men they subconciously won't act on these urges unless there is *something* else there to keep them attracted.

Since we're flagging baseless and sexist generalisations here, can I mark the above as such ?

I can honestly say that - as you put it - "there is *something* else there", then I lose interest just as quickly as you describe.

It might just be a passing thing, it might be a mood or an atmosphere that night, it might be a casual thing or it might be something that turns into an opportunity for a relationship, but looks alone ? Not for me.

Fiend-Foe

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

Original post: remember one thing - good looks mean nothing for a guy, a woman with a good body and face can walk through life. In fact good looks are a disadvantage for a guy, I've a very dark mediterranean appearance and yes I'm very good looking but you wouldn't believe the hostility (for no reason) I've encountered from an awful lot of women over the years. Another reaction from women is turning their backs on me when in company. No, I'm not over sensitive or imagining things, women are just uncomfortable around good looking guys and that's just the way they react.

Not really, like the OP there are probably other reasons why women are uncomfortable around you. I would be considered generally goodlooking but women and people in general are always comfortable around me.

I would say its probably your attitude that makes them uncomfortable.

moviesrme

I would not be so hard on the OP. To me he is clearly at his wits end and doesn't know how to deal with it. And his blunt way of expressing himself is a direct result of this. ie he's fed up.
Kind of sounds like me at your age + maybe 10 years. What I've learned is we are our memories. Somehow I felt great as a kid but it all went wrong in my teens. I blundererd along for 10 years longer feeling more awkward as time went on. It did not get any better.
Then I read a book on Primal therapy and I began to understand that feelings are the key. We are logic and feelings and our memory is just a "harddisk" full of that. Basically you need to "defragment your harddisk". (No I dont mean THAT! Which I'm sure as I was you are quite good at). I mean see a councillor.
For me it took 6 months, once a week. And I cried etc. But I began to feel more like I felt as a child. For me it was the key. I find when things get on top of me its unexpressed feeling thats behind it. If I try to supress it (like I did for years without realising it) I describe life as trying to walk in a bouncy castle when everyone else appears to be on concrete. The feelings keep intruding and I never had peace. The eagles song "Desperado" sums it up wonderfully.
I may be laying it on heavily here but your problem lies between "just snap out of it" and my solution. In any case there's hope.

soon30

op you obviously have low self esteem why i dono but i had too and it improves as you get older especialy if there is something your good at that you can take pride from. Either your job sports whatever and you can take confidence from this.some of these fellas that score a lot,that might be the only thing they are really good at.

If you looked closer they could be crap at most other things im not saying they are but ive noticed a lot of fellas that are very good with women dont always have much else behind it.

I cant understand why a lot of women dont cop on a bit around insecure men instead of making it obvious they arnt comfortable around them it only makes things harder for fellas that are shy or insecure. On top of that women are great at backing each other up supporting each other but fellas are different they knock each other most of the time.

And its each man for himself when it come to sex whereas a lot of women wont go near a fella if they know one of their friends are interested,men seem to carry on regardless.in other words i think we are shooting ourselves in the foot by not being as supportive to each other as women are.

soon30

hope my rant made some sense:D

Wibbs

Everyone, stay on topic. Fiend-Foe and kittenkiller if you have an issue with a post then report it. Don't bitch about it on thread. Posts deleted.

soon30

op did any of this help