what do irish people think of interracial relationships

teaandtoast

my boyfriend is not irish. my mother doesnt like it and doesnt accept him. I dont know i think she just dosnt trust men in general beacuse my brother's girlfriend is korean and she is completely ok with that. if your boyfriend/girlfriend was of a different race would your parents be the same. its very sad and primitive. why are many people like that here. i dont know anymore

loloray

teaandtoast wrote: »

my boyfriend is not irish. my mother doesnt like it and doesnt accept him. I dont know i think she just dosnt trust men in general beacuse my brother's girlfriend is korean and she is completely ok with that. if your boyfriend/girlfriend was of a different race would your parents be the same. its very sad and primitive. why are many people like that here. i dont know anymore

Hi OP. If your mam is ok with your brother's gf, then I don't understand why you think she doesn't like your bf due to his nationality?

Why are you making this a race issue if you even just said you think she just doesn't like men???

e04bf099

I used to live with a young Chinese girl who would talk very racistly about black people. She would talk in the same fashion as my Dad, and he is very racist. A lot of young people with my experiences of their parents' racism, imo, over-compensate. They try so hard no to be racist that they fail to understand it. They stigmatise it and in the end, never expell it from their own subconscious intentions. That is why now, and this is honestly genuine, after a lot of soul searching, I find black women extremely attractive. People don't live by facts, they live by habits and generalisations, and to pretend those generalisations and habits are not there in yourself is arrogant, ignorant folly. Cultur is a jugenaut. The reason I mentioned the Chinese girl is because where as, in young people, racism is a minor issue in Ireland (as opposed to how our parents think) other countries suffer much worse with it, even in younger generations.

So to answer your question, I think lots of young people in interracial relationships in Ireland suffer with the same issues of conscience. It is not anything to be particularly ashamed of, and as long as you do your best to prevent your mam from affecting your own judgement then that is fine. It is not something you could change about your parents. When I came home with a Korean girl my Dad told me to use her and abuse her, and I don't respect anyone in the world more than I respect my Dad. We all (or anyone who lives with the issue) just have to live with our heritage and just make sure not to pass it on to our children.

minidazzler

Your mam is a fool.

My parents probably would have a problem if I went out with a black girl, but that's because they are also fools.

sam34

i went out with a foreign guy for years, different race, religion and colour.

i struggled against prejudice form my friends, my family, my colleagues, as well as his friends, family and colleagues.

it put quite a big strain on the relationship and was very hard to deal with.

teaandtoast

well its very sad so many people are small minded i dont know why for yrs in the past irish people got racism from the british they of all people should know how it hurts

Is your boyfriend from a culture that has very different attitudes to women??
Or is it possible that you are trying to justify her dislike of him for personal reasons by using his race?

It doesn't sound like she has race issues if she gets on with your brothers girlfriend.

Beruthiel

teaandtoast wrote: »

my boyfriend is not irish. my mother doesnt like it and doesnt accept him.

Your mother failed to learn one very valuable lesson and it's this: She has a right to not like your b/f, but she does not have the right to interfer with your relationship or make life difficult for you as a result of her dislike.
Silly woman only needs to make an effort I'm sure. Learn a bit about their culture perhaps.
I've always been of a mind, if my daughter is happy, then so am I. Even if I don't happen to agree with how she goes about it.
Enjoy your b/f and ignore your mother.
It's your life and happiness, not hers.

teaandtoast

Moonbaby wrote: »

Is your boyfriend from a culture that has very different attitudes to women??
Or is it possible that you are trying to justify her dislike of him for personal reasons by using his race?

It doesn't sound like she has race issues if she gets on with your brothers girlfriend.

well my bf is from india and they dont really have much different attitudes to women. why would i lie to myself and others and call it racism if i thought my mother didnt actually like him as a person or had a personality clash, that not true im trying to keep it real here. wel my mother said to me why dont u find a nice irish /english/ welsh man so i think she dosnt like the fact he is indian. well i dont know

e04bf099

teaandtoast wrote: »

well its very sad so many people are small minded i dont know why for yrs in the past irish people got racism from the british they of all people should know how it hurts

Racism is not just an Irish issue. In fact, it is really moderate here. It is much worse in most other places in the world. Seriously, I think some people live in some kind of bubble around there laptop to get angry and outraged at such an issue here, without looking outside to see all of the multi-culturalism and the significant lack of race violence, relative to Britain, France, Russia, Poland (one Polish guy called me a "Pig Irish ugly mother f%&ker" because I didn't give him a room I had advertised), China, Australia, the US or Spain, Denmark, Israel, etc. People are awfully racist, but the younger generation here are more tolerant than most other countries in the world. So don't fret OP, let your mother know that she won't influence you and she will quickly change her attitude. She won't want to lose a daughter over her prejudice. And she is NOT a fool. That is the worst attitude you can take over racism. That person seems rash and headless to think people can deal with racism through spiteful attacks on peoples credibility.

Goodluck,
And if you still have trouble in a few years, well he won't be the first lad to have a turbulent relationship with their mother-in-law:)

stek

minidazzler wrote: »

Your mam is a fool.

My parents probably would have a problem if I went out with a black girl, but that's because they are also fools.

Are you for real?!! this guy should be banned!

Xiney

stek, if you have a problem with a post you should use the report post function.

Off topic and unhelpful posts can earn you an infraction or a ban from Personal Issues/Relationship Issues.

Eve_Dublin

teaandtoast wrote: »

well my bf is from india and they dont really have much different attitudes to women. why would i lie to myself and others and call it racism if i thought my mother didnt actually like him as a person or had a personality clash, that not true im trying to keep it real here. wel my mother said to me why dont u find a nice irish /english/ welsh man so i think she dosnt like the fact he is indian. well i dont know

In fairness now toastandtea, men in India have a very, very different attitude to woman than men from most Western countries. Take a trip over there some day and you´ll see. They are most definitely second class citizens, more so than any country I´ve been to BUT this is besides the point really. Your Indian boyfriend is living here in Ireland, you love him, I´m presuming he treats you well so forget what your mother thinks. She´ll get over it in time.

I think interracial relationships are badly needed (for health, both mentally and physically) and just for the sake of a bit of cultural diversity. 3 out of 4 of my siblings are married to non-Irish, my brother went out with a Nigerian woman for a year, I´ve gone out with a fair gaggle of foreign men, my uncle is married to a Mexican woman and have children, my auntie is married to an Indian/Tanzanian/Dutch (but of Indian blood) and have children, uncle married to an American...we´re as diverse as an Irish family comes and it makes things all the more interesting at family reunions....and I have some ridiculously good-looking cousins, nieces and nephews. Not sure how it all went down with either families when they met up, I´m guessing things weren´t smooth sailing from the very beginning but if you handle this maturely and make it clear to her how you feel about this man, then she will except it in time.

Are you sure it´s a race issue though and not just a case of your mother worrying about her little girl? There´s an awful lot of small-mindedness in Ireland as there is in most countries. Not justifying it but this often just comes down to a fear of the unknown. I wonder how your boyfriend´s mother would react if he brought you to his home in India. Have you made the effort to introduce your boyfriend to your mother yet?

minidazzler

stek wrote: »

Are you for real?!! this guy should be banned!

Sorry now mate but I was relaying my experience, I would be interested to know why you think I should be banned, PM or VM me because I don't like dragging threads off topic.


What I was trying to say in my original post, my parents probably wouldn't approve, but I would pay no heed to their idiocy.

dsmythy

Same as every other nationality. Vast majority will have no problem the small minority will.

e04bf099

Interracial people are better looking also. So if you want goodlookin' babies...