Sick of hearing all about friends' love lives

LegacyUser

Hi everyone

Before I start, let me preface this by saying I am not a miserable, terrible person!

Granted I may be a bit bitter, and that's probably at the root of this issue.

I seem to be the 'ear' among my group of friends, the one that they all confide in, which is great, except that I am so bloody sick of hearing about all of their love lives. Particularly my best friend. She's constantly obsessed with someone and she seems to meet all the bad eggs (or at least all the ones that won't call her back, are only after one thing, blow hot and cold, etc...) and I am sick, to the teeth, or hearing all about it, ALL THE TIME.

I'm not a bad person, I'm not a bad friend, I just don't know how many times I can do the 'he's-not-worth-it-he-doesn't-deserve-you' dance before I explode.

To put this in context, my love life is sh1t, or more precisely, it simply doesn't exist. I'm not hideous looking, I'm not a complete psycho, I'm an interesting and intelligent person who maybe has confidence issues, and this is manifested through my lack of a love life. Now don't get me wrong, I aint at all happy about it, but maybe I'm used to it. It's been this way for years. (24 year old f)

I figure this must be the reason, or at least part of the reason, why hearing about my friends and all their dates and love interests etc is becoming intolerable, but I just don't know how to shake it. Do I just suck it up and pretend to give a crap?

For example, tonight, I had to log off MSN mid conversation with one of my best friends, because I just couldn't take her 'but why did he take so long to ring?' 'What does this text mean?' 'should I write back now or wait until the morning?'

I just can't take it anymore, especially after a long day's work.

I don't even know what I am expecting to get out of posting this, more than likely nothing. Just a therapeutic vent. Or maybe someone to tell me I am not the horrible friend I feel like I am!!

LegacyUser

Your not a terrible friend, your a person just like them.

I'm 21 Male and single pretty much forever (I know I'm young). I've only gone on a few dates. Now one of the reasons I'm single is because I do a lot of work (self employed, long story) and sport as well takes up a lot of my time, so trying to find someone doesn't really happen, I don't do the meeting in night clubs stuff, when I'm out (rare at this stage) it's just for a good time with the lads.

Now, most of my close friends bar one are in long term relationships, i.e 2 years for most of them, and their a year younger than me. When they were 16/17/18 and jumping from one girl to another I was their 'ear' and let me tell you it drove me up the wall to the point where I'd just ignore them. I couldn't hack it anymore. I've more important things going on with my life than their stupid adolescent love life! Like things that are going to get me a good career and more importantly get me experience in the field I'm currently studying and I have to say Im happier I spent my time doing that cause now I've overloaded with work which means money which means holidays etc etc.. I also have a good reputation this field and I've no problem finding work thankfully. Anyway I'm gone off the point.

When they blabber on again, try change subject or something. Or just be a biatch and tell them there only gonna dump them in a few weeks

thick neck! only way to get through to people!!

and as for your self confidence, I don't have much either, but screw it, go out have fun, fcuk the begrudgers, there only sour because they don't have the balls to go have fun!

I'm in a very similar situation myself so maybe I might be able to help out here. I don't think you're a bad friend at all.

I'm 25, been single all my life because I find socialising extremely difficult. I have a few friends and a couple of them do come to me about relationship problems. They know I've been single all along (and therefore don't really have any experience to give proper advice), but they see me as easy to talk to and a good listener so I guess that's the reason they do it. Sometimes it helps them to let it out to someone who is willing to listen to them.

However it does irritate me at times and I do know why. I know there's more than a hint of jealousy and bitterness there, the fact that he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend means that they've already done better than me.

Stu77

Your friends should be a little more aware of your needs and how you are feeling but some people are good listeners and you are probably one of those people and get all their stuff dumped on you.

You sound like a nice person and i'm sure plenty of guys would like to take you out on a date but when confidence is low its hard to believe that your are worthy of a boyfriend.

Make no mistake about it, your friends confide in you because you listen and support them and try to make them feel better. That is a great quality to have so that in itself should lift your confidence.

Take plenty of time look after your own needs and be kind to yourself. Eat well, exercise and find something you are passionate about. Things will get better for you. .its worked for me