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Feeling lost

  • 11-10-2009 2:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This year seems to have been the year of the engagement for the majority of my friends - 3 in a row in the last 5 weeks. I don't want to get married, I never have but I'm suddenly feeling very "outside" or left behind. I love my boyfriend but our relationship is not at its strongest just now so I don't know what's going to happen there. I'm 27 but I feel about 17 - I love going out, love not having a mortgage or any responsibilities. The most grown up thing I'm doing at the moment is a distance learning course cos I like the subject matter. Also I don't want to stay in my current job which I'm only in cos the recession lost me the good one I had. Anyway I just feel so lost and I don't know which way to turn or what to do next esp as I feel I'm losing all of my friends. I'm like the unengaged leper friend to them now and I'm feeling very much alone. Living in a small town doesn't help either,makes it impossible to just go out and make new friends. Any suggestions?


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Hi,

    I want to pose this question to you: Are you focussing on what others think you should be doing rather than what YOU actually want to be doing? I am 26 now (single for 4 years) and have noticed that many people seem to be unhappy by the fact that they aren't living up to other people's expectations. Well, what about their own expectations? Whatever happened to focussing on what you - and you alone - want from life? To be honest, there's no rush to getting married at all. Your friends will come back to you in a few years and will even claim that they wish they had held out a bit longer.

    So, try to focus on what you've got now, now what others have got. You have a relationship that needs some fine-tuning, so go and fine-tune it, and become more authoritative and independent in how you live your life. I know that it seems like I'm shoving words into your mouth here, but I honestly - and truly - only have your best intentions at heart.

    Take care,
    Kevin


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks Kevin. The problem with feeling 17 is that I haven't a clue how to be authoritative or steer my life the way I want it


  • #4
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Do you have a brother/sister? I found that my three older brothers were great sources of information and help for me. Also, just keep telling yourself that you're a very important person and that no-one is going to mess with you again. It was things like that said to me which really helped me. I went from being afraid to leave the house to being able to walk down the street with my head held high.


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