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New Relationship - Don't wanna fcuk up this time..advice?

  • 08-10-2009 12:38am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Right quick version
    Married young..disaster.. separated at 30..now 43..quite a few relationships since..some long (5 years) many short...noone really ticked my boxes ..met another girl last year, fell madly in love, moved in, about to buy a house together..disaster a few months ago ..dumped by text....I was DEVASTATED ..a period of 'rediscovery' followed..another 2-3 months relationship (think it was to get me over my 'big love' that had just dumped me...)

    Was thinking I'd never find anything like what I had lost..
    Now I find myself having met a wonderful girl.(about 6 weeks..)...so unlike all the others..I'm hooked..TOTALLY..I can see she's getting hooked too but is being quite cautious..and rightly so !!

    So this time I want to make sure it works...
    I have had a few probs with self esteem, possessiveness, moving too quickly etc etc...always parking my life to concentrate almost SOLELY on the girl..

    Think I've gotten all the above out of my system..

    Mind you in ALL past relationship I have had doubts from the VERY start..not so this time..new ground for me :)


    Any words of wisdom to ensure I get this one right?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    U sound like my ex.... You have just met someone, who you you say you are hooked on after 6 wks and this is new ground for u???? What a contradiction, when you said that u met another girl just last year who you, and i quote, '''fell madly in love, moved in, about to buy a house together.
    Was thinking I'd never find anything like what I had lost'''


    My ex has just done the exact same thing, and I think to be fair that while we all have connections with people don't you think that you are seeing any connection as the perfect connection and jumping in way too soon on all of them.

    I am not having a go at you here at all, but I think if you want to make this relationship work you should take a step (or a few) back and let the relationship breath. Life isn't a race, Sit back and enjoy this new girl and don't scare her off or rush into anything. If it is meant to be it will be so sit back and enjoy the journey, cause it is not always about the destination when u get there


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You are of course quite correct..I know this...I need to allow the relationship to develop over time..this has always been an issue for me..

    Last relationship I had moved in after about 3 months..utter madness in hindsight..

    I wont be making mistakes like that this time...but problem is that I enjoy spending time with her so obviously seek that time..but think I might ease back and let her do some of the running?

    I will certainly attempt a wee step back...wish me luck..

    Thank you !!


  • #4
    thefeatheredcat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    Learn from your mistakes. Should you find yourself in a similar situation where you've made a mistake, address the issue. You know where the mistake will take you, as you've been there before.

    Get to know the person before committing long term. Don't rush into getting the relationship too serious a level too early on - if you give all the goods, what's left to discover about eachother?

    Enjoy the relationship. Let it grow and develop naturally. Don't take it for granted and enjoy exploring another person over time. Value the relationship.


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