Morning wood

Khannie

How often do you wake up with a morning wood? And have you noticed whether anything affects it being there or not?

For me it varies week by week based on my diet believe it or not. If I'm dieting for any more than a week, morning wood go bye bye. Otherwise there's a good chance it's there. edit: I should add that I get them a lot more often since I got fit.

petes

Kind of depends. I could be dreaming of something and wake up and it's there.

Other times I wake up and it's not. A couple of minutes later lying in the bed it is without my mind having to wander and think of such things.

Krieg

Quite difficult to measure how often since its a common thing and Id barely give it a second thought. I might start counting from tomorrow :P

Ive never noticed/heard of anything that would affect frequency

Wibbs

5 or 6 times a week I'd say. sometimes it's the old morning full bladder "piss horn" and sometimes its the sexy dreams vibe. split about 50/50. I have noticed that if I stay up really late or am absolutely shattered they're guaranteed glass cutters? No idea why. When I was fitter they were better/worse. Though thats a fair few years back :)

Khannie

Krieg wrote: »

Ive never noticed/heard of anything that would affect frequency

Dieting definitely affects frequency. Your testosterone levels fall through the floor when you've been dieting a while. Of course they bounce back when you start eating maintenance calories again.

Vegeta

Wibbs wrote: »

sometimes it's the old morning full bladder "piss horn"

Every morning I have one of these.

Very annoying too as trying to go to the bathroom with and erection is not easy as you all know.

Lately I have been worried by how frequently I have to urinate

Madame Razz

It appears to be a very common and regular occurrence IMHO

Otis Driftwood

Pretty much every single day.

L31mr0d

happens frequently enough that I don't even take notice of it. Worst is when you wake up and need to go to the bathroom and you have one. It's at times like that I lay there and wonder "who exactly is running this body, it's bad enough they plumbed in the recreational facilities right next to the waste disposal, but whoever is looking after the scheduling should really be fired... I mean honestly!"

Will

Usually early morning before i wake up, like today. I just rolled around on my stomach while still semi-asleep, properly woke up it was gone thankfully. Going to the loo is also a pain with them.

minidazzler

It really depends for me.

I am guaranteed morning wood if I have play the 5 knuckle shuffle when in bed just before I go to sleep.

Other than that it's hit and miss really. Piss-horns are a regular occurance too, but I don't consider that morning wood TBH, because if you are lying next to a woman with a horn like that, you know you have to get up and piss before you get some morning glory.

Crotchety

Eating too many french fancies are a common diagnosis for the plank of wood in the early hours.

Madame Razz

Crotchety wrote: »

Eating out too many french fancies are a common diagnosis for the plank of wood in the early hours.

Fixed your post

:pac::pac::pac:

(I'm sorry I simply couldn't resist:p:o)

PetrovthePrat

I figure it's a systems test. If that's not up,no point getting up.

BankMan

Most days I reckon. Hangover guarantees an appearance (plus a very randy bankman)

Snowie

I used to drive a desil land rover every morning id get into that jeep and ten minutes into it id be sporting a nice ankle strangeler :pac:....

yeah id say ost days i wake up with a horn


tho piss horn are worse.... the funny shapes I make with my body :eek: in the toilet trying to releave it...

Dord

PetrovthePrat wrote: »

I figure it's a systems test. If that's not up,no point getting up.

LOL! :pac:

For me it'd be most days

Crotchety

The only way to beat the horn is with a scalding red hot hammer and a poker.

irish_stickman

if its not a piss horn its an "i had a great dream" horn so yeah most days

seanie2

THe piss horn definately bad.. how do you explain to someone who walks in to the bathroom and you doing your best to pee with a raging horn.

Otis Driftwood

Crotchety wrote: »

The only way to beat the horn is with a scalding red hot hammer and a poker.

You are aware this isnt afterhours,yes?

Wibbs

PetrovthePrat wrote: »

I figure it's a systems test. If that's not up,no point getting up.

+1. I'm one of those guys who avoids doctors like the plague. I could have a half severed arm and I'm all "ah no, we'll see how this pans out, only a scratch". Not out of bravery more out of fear. If mr happy shows signs of not playing ball? I'm down to the GP like a shot.

Lack of wood in anything like a consistent pattern IMHO is a sign of something amiss. It could be hormonal, emotional/psychological, vascular, nerve issues(infection or diabetes?). It's a damn fine yardstick(leave it!) of basic male health IMHO. An erection needs so many of the body's systems in reasonable condition before it can happen.

I dunno if any of the docs here would agree it's a good diagnostic tool(no really, leave it!), but I suspect they would and I think it would show up issues before they may become more obvious. I can't think of a similar outward sign in women that may point to the same number of issues.

As I said a drop off of morning wood or wood in general would get me to a Dr in short order.

maherro

Was in bed and a female friend sleeping beside me after a night out. talking the next morning I noticed she was staring at my crotch. I look down and the one eyed monster himself is standing to attention. Never seen her so freaked out - took quite a long time to convince her this is a fairly routine occurance, girl or no girl!

shellyboo

Wibbs wrote: »

It's a damn fine yardstick(leave it!) of basic male health IMHO.

But... your yardstick... it's so hard to resist... :pac:

Khannie

Wibbs wrote: »

As I said a drop off of morning wood or wood in general would get me to a Dr in short order.

It's gonna happen. Your morning wood is based largely on your testosterone levels. As you get older the ole test levels fall off. Other things can affect it too (as I said, dieting is one, level of fitness is another, too much booze another, etc. etc.).

Wibbs

True, though Ive got elevated test levels for my body weight* so maybe that's why the morning wood is still going at 40 odd. Funny how people differ, if I drop my food intake I get more horny, not less. Booze wise, beer defo hits it, but wine doesn't Emotions really hit I've found. If I'm any way low or stressed over something, I can see a drop off, very rapidly too.





* at 40 I was over a 1000 (can't remember what) per ML. Higher in the past. Sounds great. It isn't. Increased risk of prostate cancer(had my first PSA test at 25 AFAIR) for a start and as anyone who has met me will tell you, it defo didn't give me muscles and could be arm wrestled by most women, never mind men.:(:D Though it seems to have kept me free of middle aged spread so that's a plus.

bluemachaveli

Everyday with out fail. Herself doesn't go for morning sex so i normally end up taking care of it myself

994

shellyboo wrote: »

But... your yardstick... it's so hard to resist... :pac:

That's what she said!

(sorry)

arybvtcw0eolkf

At 43 years of age I'm proud to say I could literally pole vault out of bed, across the landing and down the stairs on my little friend most mornings

And when I'm training really hard - sweet jesus I'd have a horn that I could beat a horse out of a swamp with.

Beer = floppy joe!.

.

shellyboo

994 wrote: »

That's what she said!

(sorry)

Eh... Yeah that is what she (me) said...

obrien89

mostly piss boners

T Corolla

For me it is every morning and not a piss horn. The bigger problem that I have if I am around a female I attracted to I like a teenager.
I am 30

kumate_champ07

shellyboo wrote: »

But... your yardstick... it's so hard to resist... :pac:

wow, you're posting in a thread about hard cocks!
the irony!

was it because you thanked some of my pics and I never thanked any of yours?

shellyboo

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

wow, you're posting in a thread about hard cocks!
the irony!

was it because you thanked some of my pics and I never thanked any of yours?

Sorry, what?

kumate_champ07

shellyboo wrote: »

Sorry, what?

dont play coy

kumate_champ07

shellyboo wrote: »

Sorry, what?

if i posted a pic of my cock(pet rooster) when I was 12 that used to arise at the break of dawn every morning would u think thats sleazy too?

r3nu4l

kumate_champ07 keep it on topic and leave the personal stuff out of this thread. Thanks. Only warning.

kumate_champ07

r3nu4l wrote: »

kumate_champ07 keep it on topic and leave the personal stuff out of this thread. Thanks. Only warning.

no problem, I just wasnt expecting any sleazy comments from women in this thread/forum, Ill say no more.

admiralofthefleet

sometimes every morning, sometimes not so regular. its a pain in the arse though because i could poke a hole in cheap door when it happens

Fink Goddie

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

no problem, I just wasnt expecting any sleazy comments from women in this thread/forum, Ill say no more.

Neither was i, was reading the thread and was quite shocked and suprised by that comment.
It's creepy, it's sleazy, it's pathetic, but most of all, it's just really boring.

It's like someone **** in public - they're not actually touching anyone else, but they are making everyone else uncomfortable.

I'm sure the gentlemans club just don't want girls who think it's big or clever or funny to make jokes about their penises.

johnny_knoxvile

shellyboo wrote: »

But... your yardstick... it's so hard to resist... :pac:

now some people might see this as "FOUL", whereas Kumate's picture of his pet c0ck was just "FOWL"...Can you tell the difference?

OldGoat

Gentlemen, Guests, back on thread please...or has this thread run it's course?

morninwood

yous are all liars. none of you had or will have me ;-)

tbh

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Neither was i, was reading the thread and was quite shocked and suprised by that comment.
It's creepy, it's sleazy, it's pathetic, but most of all, it's just really boring.

It's like someone **** in public - they're not actually touching anyone else, but they are making everyone else uncomfortable.

I'm sure the gentlemans club just don't want girls who think it's big or clever or funny to make jokes about their penises.

if you want to contribute to the topics being discussed on this forum, you're very welcome to. If you want to use this forum to get digs in at other users for whatever reason, we're just not going to allow you. So, the next time you make a comment like this in this forum, you're getting a permanent ban. Now, we all know where we stand, you can start all the feedback or helpdesk threads you like, but I'm telling you, it stops here.

If you want to keep posting I suggest you take this on board. If you reply to this post on thread, you're getting banned.

Fink Goddie

tbh wrote: »

if you want to contribute to the topics being discussed on this forum, you're very welcome to. If you want to use this forum to get digs in at other users for whatever reason, we're just not going to allow you. So, the next time you make a comment like this in this forum, you're getting a permanent ban. Now, we all know where we stand, you can start all the feedback or helpdesk threads you like, but I'm telling you, it stops here.

If you want to keep posting I suggest you take this on board. If you reply to this post on thread, you're getting banned.

So ban me, i dont care!
Old Goat already sorted the thread out at 10.18am, i didnt reply after that and wasnt going to. Then 3 hours later you feel the need to derail the thread once more so you can get your little power trip, and why pick on just me, why not Kumate or Johnny??? Very sad!
So Bite me!

johnny_knoxvile

hahaha...go team Fink! now back on topic, i get 50,000 morning woods a week!

tbh

Fink Goddie wrote: »

So ban me, i dont care!
Old Goat already sorted the thread out at 10.18am, i didnt reply after that and wasnt going to. Then 3 hours later you feel the need to derail the thread once more so you can get your little power trip, and why pick on just me, why not Kumate or Johnny??? Very sad!
So Bite me!

done.

johnny_knoxvile wrote: »

hahaha...go team Fink! now back on topic, i get 50,000 morning woods a week!

same choice for you johnny, your first ban will be a permanent one too. So make the call.

johnny_knoxvile

tbh wrote: »

done.



same choice for you johnny, your first ban will be a permanent one too. So make the call.

ah well since you're taking it so much to heart and you want to feel like a big man flexing your forum muscles and threatening me...go ahead ban me. Love & Kisses, Johnny Knoxvile xxxx

tbh

done. I appreciate the kisses.

r3nu4l

....and with that the thread has run it's course. In summary, men get morning wood, some more than others but we all agree it's incredibly difficult to pee when morning wood arrives

/thread