slept with my sisters boyfriend, now pregnant.

quickylicky

Im 21years old and with my boyfriend 2 and a half years. Me and my sister have always been VERY close shes 23. shes been with her boyfriend for 4 years. hes 29 and we always had a good bond but recently he started to come on to me and of course i pushed him away... but we were at a family event one night and i was very drunk so he said he'd run me home(he wasnt drinking) ... anyway ended up sleeping with him. i felt really bad about it and he said sorry and we agreed to stay away from each and forget it. but iv just found out im pregnant and i dont know if its his or my boyfriends....HELP!

minidazzler

Well, you have lot's of options here.

1. Have the Baby, have a paternity Test, get the childs biological father to pay.

2. Have the Baby, Don't say a word to your BF.

3. Tell everyone now that you slept with him. Then have the Baby.

My advice is Paternity test, do it discreetly if possible. Because you are threading on broken glass here.

Nevyn

Well I would suggest you ring the national pregnancy helpline and speak to the people there and try work out when your last period so you have some idea about dates.

They will also refer you on to a crises pregncancy counselling appointment where you can
get help to figure out what you want to do and information on your choices.

www.positive.ie
National Pregnancy Helpline: 1850 495051.

Oryx

quickylicky wrote: »

Im 21years old and with my boyfriend 2 and a half years. Me and my sister have always been VERY close shes 23. shes been with her boyfriend for 4 years. hes 29 and we always had a good bond but recently he started to come on to me and of course i pushed him away... but we were at a family event one night and i was very drunk so he said he'd run me home(he wasnt drinking) ... anyway ended up sleeping with him. i felt really bad about it and he said sorry and we agreed to stay away from each and forget it. but iv just found out im pregnant and i dont know if its his or my boyfriends....HELP!

Youve got to ask the following questions:

What is your relationship with your bf like? Good? Bad? Boring?
How do you feel about having this baby, regardless of paternity?
In your gut, what do you want to do? (As in tell all, or keep the secret)


This fella you slept with is not coming across very nicely in all of this. He cheats on his gf with her sister. He sleeps with someone who is ratassed drunk, which is taking liberties and then some. He was obviously sober, and that makes him a complete tool. Bear that in mind in your future dealings with him.

If it was me, Id come clean. Because if you have this child and keep the possiblity it belongs to this man a secret, thats something you have to deal with (and worry about) for life. As will your unwitting bf. Yeah, there will be massive fallout from this, but I dont think your sister should be under any illusions about the prince shes going out with. And you need to fess up because drunk or not, you fcuked up, and you need to own up to it. Otherwise you and your future child will have a heavy burden to carry. Do it now and it will be tough, but it will be easier than the alternative.

Taltos

Definitely tell your sis.
Her "loving" bf - took advantage of you when you were drunk.
She might hate you for it. But secrets like this do leak out and can tear families apart.

Also tell your bf - he deserves to know.
Then once born you can get the paternity test.

At a min your sis needs to kick this user to the side. How could he treat her like that?
The only real question you might be asked is how drunk were you...

Not an easy choice - hope it works out for you.

Lollipops23

Taltos wrote: »

Definitely tell your sis.
Her "loving" bf - took advantage of you when you were drunk.
She might hate you for it. But secrets like this do leak out and can tear families apart.

ah now, he hardly took advantage. sorry but it takes 2 to tango and all that.

Taltos wrote: »

At a min your sis needs to kick this user to the side. How could he treat her like that?
The only real question you might be asked is how drunk were you...

I have a feeling she'll feel 100times more betrayed by the OP than the bf.


OP, you have some difficult decisions ahead of you, and as Thaed said, it may be wise to contact Positive Options or any crisis pregnancy organisation.

Now, what kind of liklihood is there that it is your sister's bf's baby?Is it possible that it is your own bfs? do you want to keep the baby either way?

You are the only one who can answer these questions. Best of luck.

dudara

Question 1: Do you want to keep the baby?

Question 2: If yes, do you want to know who the father is?

You need to figure out the answer to these questions - maybe seek some pregnancy advice service here.

Regardless of what you do about the baby, you also need to decide if you want to tell your sister and your boyfriend.

Wagon

minidazzler wrote: »

1. Have the Baby, have a paternity Test, get the childs biological father to pay.

Best option is this i think.

LegacyUser

i would have an abortion and tell no one..would you not consider this?

Taltos

All I am trying to say is that there is alot of fallout here.
If I was this girls BF - damn right I would want to know - otherwise when or if I found out I would already be on the offensive and would be more likely to bolt.

Added to this is her sister. Again - keeping this from her - no matter how shameful - I just don't know.

All around here this is really a mess - but this is one of those times I think you really need to take a strong stance and be honest - no matter the consequences.
Yes drink was involved - and yes this does not take the responsibility. BUT - alcohol does limit your decision making capabilities.

seahorse

Unless you only had sex with your BF once during your cycle it's more likely the baby is his rather than was fathered by a one off.

Either way, I don't see how you have any option but to tell your sister, and the sooner the better, because if you go through a pregnancy accepting congratulations from her and she finds out the truth she will likely never speak to you again. I know I wouldn't.

Toots

OP, your best bet is to go to your GP who will be able to help you with dates. Hopefully you'll be able to rule out the other guy as the father. Depending on whether or not it's really possible he's the father, you need to figure out what do you want to do.

If it's possible he's the father, and you decide to have the baby, you're pretty much gonna have to come clean about what happened. The baby will have a right to know who it's father is, and also, the father (although he sounds like a creep) has a right to know he has a child. If you don't tell all, you'll basically have a sword of damocles hanging over your head for the rest of your life. I don't know how comfortable you'd be with discussing the situation with your GP, but he/she might be able to advise you of the different options available to you. After all, you're not the first person to find themselves in a situation like this. I'd second (or third) the recommendation of contacting a crisis pregnancy agency too.

chucky82

paternity tests can be done b4 the child is born

Toots

chucky82 wrote: »

paternity tests can be done b4 the child is born

Then can, but they can be pretty invasive and also be risky to the foetus. Also, I'm fairly sure that by the time you'd be doing a paternity test, it would be too late for a termination, so if it turned out the other guy was the father, there'd be no going back. I'm open to correction on this though.

CDfm

None of this is good.

I think as Thaed says you need to contact the Pregnancy Helpline.

If I was in your boyfriends shoes I would want to know the truth that you are pregnant and it could be someone elses. It would be hugely unfair on him to bring up another guys child or to find out accidentally. I know one guy who found out at the hospital that he wasnt the father simply because of the kids blood type not adding up.You should not make the decision for your boyfriend as ethically its not yours to make.

What you would do afterwards will affect other people especially your boyfriend and your sister as they are the innocent parties here. Its up to you then as to whether you dislose who the father might be or not or seek a paternity test- but certainly your b/f deserves to know the truth.

Buffy the bitch

worri.ied wrote: »

i would have an abortion and tell no one..would you not consider this?

That's ****ing shocking advice IMO.

2. Have the Baby, Don't say a word to your BF.

You would have a child and let on the dad was someone else? I'd kill you for doing that if that was me, some poor bloody guy thinking he's a dad when he might not even be the dad.


Personally I can only really see two options

1. You tell everyone even though your not 100% sure who the dad is.

2. Wait until you have the baby then get a paternity test and see who the dad is.

Question is even if he's not the dad can you keep it from your sis, better yet can he keep his mouth shut. If he finished with your sister down the line there's a good chance he could say it to someone hate to say this but I doubt he hasn't told someone already.

If your sis is going to find out it would be far better coming from you....

Wibbs

quickylicky considering your posts on this forum before I'm smelling troll yet again. I'm also smelling multiple regs too. Certi Layla!! milf_25 and Penoillk (plus a couple of others) ring any bells? Too much of a coincidence for me. Permabanned. Please take it to helpdesk if you feel you have a case.

*Edit* banned Certi Layla!! account too until some clarity is given on this