opinions welcomed

Emerate

Just wondering where to go with this....boyfriend became very angry with me because I turned my back to him yesterday to work on our computer....we had been having a 'stop start' conversation about something sensitive and which had upset me, but as he was not fully engaged I carried on with what I had been doing previously. He shouted and told me I was treating him 'worse than a dog'. I tried to explain that I was just doing something and giving him space when he came in from work (which had been my intention), but he became angrier. In light of what I had been upset about I felt his reaction was insensitive, but he is now making me feel like I am completely in the wrong. Any opinions. I want to sort it out but I do not want to allow him think it is ok to shout so readily.

Nevyn

Maybe you should have left the room to give you both space you you were up set and told him that as you were doing it, seems you both have issues in communitcating with each other.

eviltwin

How angry is "very angry"...just wondering if he has issues that need to be resolved there as I have to say I found your post a bit worrying....

kittenkiller

To me, it sounds like he was trying to pick a fight over anything.

Most people would have just walked off had they thought you were intentionally trying to ignore them and tried to let the situation calm down a bit before going at it again.

Try talking to him about it when you're both nice and calm and see, that might just be a bug-bear of his or maybe he completely mis-read the situation.

Best of luck.

seahorse

Emerate wrote: »

I want to sort it out but I do not want to allow him think it is ok to shout so readily.

Good, cause it's not, and the best way to get this message across is to say so directly.

Terodil

Looks like a breakdown of communication and misunderstanding to me.

I don't think you should put too much stress on this. Sleep over it, then discuss it again calmly.

I personally hate start-stop convos, so I think you were right doing something else, but I also hate 'I do not care' demonstrations, and I think he's somewhat right being annoyed at it.

You both really need to sit down and sort it out, including and especially rules for such discussions in the future. Ignoring the other or only paying half-arsed attention is never a good choice, neither is raising your voice (beyond a certain threshold).

Emerate

thanks for all the responses....still in the midst of sorting it. cheers

dudara

Why did you turn away from him in the middle of a conversation that was about something 'sensitive'?

You thought that he wasn't fully engaged, but his reaction clearly shows that he was.

It might have been an OTT reaction, but you shouldn't have turned your back on the conversation without first bringing it to a conclusion.