Visiting people and arriving with a gift - opinions?

veryangryman

Some people have this tradition of not going anywhere without bringing something e.g bottle of wine, box of chocolates, a dish etc etc. Its not that their kind or anything - they just feel that they cannot be seen to arrive without something.

Now, I dont do that regularly (sometimes but not regularly), but in general i think its pretentious to do this so much. Its a tradition i note that has existed in the Mafia for generations. What makes me sick is that they will give the host a hot plate one minute and a bullet the next! And why do it anyway? Surely the host is happy enough with your presence without them receiving something they may not like from you as well as having to fake graciousness for this.

So, Joe Public, Whats your policy on this :pac:

dreamers75

Giving them the bullet 1st saves time and effort in choosing the gift.

I like to bring tea things when I know I am visiting someone.
Because when I was a young one this was polite.
But these days people seem to find it insulting.


~shrug~

If I'm going for beers then I bring beer (for myself)

If I'm going for dins I bring a bottle of wine.

Easy peasy!

Dankoozy

You are supposed to always bring a pineapple to the person you visit.

I keep about 4 or 5 pineapples in the back of the car at all times for this reason, when they are ripe i know its time to visit some people or eat them

Agricola

Well I agree mostly, but the thing that makes me bring "gifts" is usually the fact that Im going to a friends house where the onus will be on him to ply all of us with food or drink for the night. Id feel abit guilty about emptying his fridge of every can and bottle so I think I should bring a 6pk or a bottle of wine or something.

If its any situation other than the above, Id have no problem goin with me hands hangin!

Medievalist

I think if you've been invited to dinner, it's nice to bring something with you like wine or cake or something. If I'm going to a friend's house for tea or coffee, I'll bring biscuits or something. If it's for drinks I'll bring drink, and maybe something to eat ...like cake or biscuits or something (there is a pattern to my gift giving ). If I invite my friends to my house, I know they'll probably bring something with them. It's a 'thank you' for going out of your way to invite people over, and a sharing of the responsibility to provide drink etc. I think it's a nice, relaxed tradition. Although I would never be insulted if someone didn't bring something with them.

Terodil

Moonbaby wrote: »

I like to bring tea things when I know I am visiting someone.
Because when I was a young one this was polite.
But these days people seem to find it insulting.


~shrug~

what kinda tea things?

Darlughda

I only open the drinks cabinet for guests who bring me flowers.

Overheal

I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.

Medievalist

Overheal wrote: »

I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.

That's the perfect situation. Means there's an entire bottle of wine for you to drink, guilt free

lasair

I always bring somethin if im going visiting form a cake to a btl of wine...if im going to the bf's i bring homemade maramalde (sad i know but his mam loves it) or a tart..
i was always brought up that way and kinda think its curtosy in a way....

Overheal

Medievalist wrote: »

That's the perfect situation. Means there's an entire bottle of wine for you to drink, guilt free

Hardly. My mouth was blood red by the end of the night and her mom thought it was gay for a young man to be drinking wine. It wasn't long before I was talking trash to her and she threw a couple glasses at me and I walked to the nearest village to get a cab back to carlow.

Man Ill never have an easter like that again. They had a trampoline too

Archeron

I always bring a really REALLY big onion. While most people are somewhat surprised, they always find a use for it.

Dord

I think the current thing is to bring a can of condensed milk.

Dord

Dord wrote: »

I think the current thing is to bring a can of condensed milk.

Only if you're showing up to a group of stranger

Medievalist

Overheal wrote: »

. They had a trampoline too

Trampolines and alcohol are not a good mix. It's hard enough to keep things steady after a few glasses without adding a trampoline into the mayhem

Ross_Mahon

The only time its essential to bring a gift to someone is when they are sick

Medievalist

Medievalist wrote: »

Trampolines and alcohol are not a good mix. It's hard enough to keep things steady after a few glasses without adding a trampoline into the mayhem

You have it all wrong. Alcohol and Trampolines are the best match EVER! Or bouncy castles, I'd be delighted with a bouncy castle!

Ulsteryank

I always give some kind of alcohol, or crafty thing significant to your home, self, or them if they don't drink.

Pygmalion

Deleted User wrote: »

You have it all wrong. Alcohol and Trampolines are the best match EVER! Or bouncy castles, I'd be delighted with a bouncy castle!

Don't forget swings. Drunkenly stumbling into a playground at about midnight playing on the swings FTW.

In All Fairness

lasair wrote: »

I always bring somethin if im going visiting form a cake to a btl of wine...if im going to the bf's i bring homemade maramalde (sad i know but his mam loves it) or a tart..
i was always brought up that way and kinda think its curtosy in a way....

Lasair's BF: "Oh boy, Oh boy. I hope it's not marmalade."

artanevilla

I'm so great that my arrival itself is a gift.

amcalester

The OP is annoyed because people bring him gifts?

You must love xmas and birthdays.

sam34

if going for dinner, i'd always bring something - bottle(s) of wine usually.

if i was just calling for tea a nd a chat, i wouldnt bother.

if i was staying overnight with a friend, i'd bring wine, and maybe some nice cakes/biscuits or flowers

veryangryman

At the risk of starting a he said she said war...

Im guessing that its mainly a woman thing..?

BroomBurner

Are there people here that don't bring anything*?? If ya don't bring at least a bottle of wine, then don't expect an invitation to return!


*to a dinner.

Elliemental

Surely if you`re just dropping by, you`re not going to bring a gift. However, if it`s for a dinner party, then flowers for the hostess and a bottle of good wine for the host. I know, its` totally unimaginitive.

LimeFruitGum

Maybe it is a country thing, my mother always said "Don't go in with one hand longer than the other!" :-)
If I'm calling around to someone's house for tea or dinner, or passing by, I would feel like a scab if I didn't bring something; even if it is just a packet of biscuits or Mr Kiplings

WindSock

Overheal wrote: »

I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.

That's not very nice of them to laugh at their gift. I hope you accidently spilled some on their carpet..