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Visiting people and arriving with a gift - opinions?

  • 03-10-2009 7:27pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,707 ✭✭✭


    Some people have this tradition of not going anywhere without bringing something e.g bottle of wine, box of chocolates, a dish etc etc. Its not that their kind or anything - they just feel that they cannot be seen to arrive without something.

    Now, I dont do that regularly (sometimes but not regularly), but in general i think its pretentious to do this so much. Its a tradition i note that has existed in the Mafia for generations. What makes me sick is that they will give the host a hot plate one minute and a bullet the next! And why do it anyway? Surely the host is happy enough with your presence without them receiving something they may not like from you as well as having to fake graciousness for this.

    So, Joe Public, Whats your policy on this :pac:


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,558 ✭✭✭✭dreamers75


    Giving them the bullet 1st saves time and effort in choosing the gift.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I like to bring tea things when I know I am visiting someone.
    Because when I was a young one this was polite.
    But these days people seem to find it insulting.


    ~shrug~


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    If I'm going for beers then I bring beer (for myself)

    If I'm going for dins I bring a bottle of wine.

    Easy peasy!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭Dankoozy


    You are supposed to always bring a pineapple to the person you visit.

    I keep about 4 or 5 pineapples in the back of the car at all times for this reason, when they are ripe i know its time to visit some people or eat them


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Well I agree mostly, but the thing that makes me bring "gifts" is usually the fact that Im going to a friends house where the onus will be on him to ply all of us with food or drink for the night. Id feel abit guilty about emptying his fridge of every can and bottle so I think I should bring a 6pk or a bottle of wine or something.

    If its any situation other than the above, Id have no problem goin with me hands hangin!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 246 ✭✭Medievalist


    I think if you've been invited to dinner, it's nice to bring something with you like wine or cake or something. If I'm going to a friend's house for tea or coffee, I'll bring biscuits or something. If it's for drinks I'll bring drink, and maybe something to eat ...like cake or biscuits or something (there is a pattern to my gift giving ;)). If I invite my friends to my house, I know they'll probably bring something with them. It's a 'thank you' for going out of your way to invite people over, and a sharing of the responsibility to provide drink etc. I think it's a nice, relaxed tradition. Although I would never be insulted if someone didn't bring something with them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Terodil


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I like to bring tea things when I know I am visiting someone.
    Because when I was a young one this was polite.
    But these days people seem to find it insulting.


    ~shrug~

    what kinda tea things?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    I only open the drinks cabinet for guests who bring me flowers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 246 ✭✭Medievalist


    Overheal wrote: »
    I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.

    That's the perfect situation. Means there's an entire bottle of wine for you to drink, guilt free ;)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 514 ✭✭✭lasair


    I always bring somethin if im going visiting form a cake to a btl of wine...if im going to the bf's i bring homemade maramalde (sad i know but his mam loves it) or a tart..
    i was always brought up that way and kinda think its curtosy in a way....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    That's the perfect situation. Means there's an entire bottle of wine for you to drink, guilt free ;)
    Hardly. My mouth was blood red by the end of the night and her mom thought it was gay for a young man to be drinking wine. It wasn't long before I was talking trash to her and she threw a couple glasses at me and I walked to the nearest village to get a cab back to carlow.

    Man Ill never have an easter like that again. They had a trampoline too :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,485 ✭✭✭Archeron


    I always bring a really REALLY big onion. While most people are somewhat surprised, they always find a use for it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,817 ✭✭✭✭Dord


    I think the current thing is to bring a can of condensed milk. :confused:


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Dord wrote: »
    I think the current thing is to bring a can of condensed milk. :confused:

    Only if you're showing up to a group of stranger ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 246 ✭✭Medievalist


    Overheal wrote: »
    . They had a trampoline too :(

    Trampolines and alcohol are not a good mix. It's hard enough to keep things steady after a few glasses without adding a trampoline into the mayhem


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭Ross_Mahon


    The only time its essential to bring a gift to someone is when they are sick


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Trampolines and alcohol are not a good mix. It's hard enough to keep things steady after a few glasses without adding a trampoline into the mayhem

    You have it all wrong. Alcohol and Trampolines are the best match EVER! Or bouncy castles, I'd be delighted with a bouncy castle!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 46 Ulsteryank


    I always give some kind of alcohol, or crafty thing significant to your home, self, or them if they don't drink.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    You have it all wrong. Alcohol and Trampolines are the best match EVER! Or bouncy castles, I'd be delighted with a bouncy castle!
    Don't forget swings. Drunkenly stumbling into a playground at about midnight playing on the swings FTW.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 515 ✭✭✭In All Fairness


    lasair wrote: »
    I always bring somethin if im going visiting form a cake to a btl of wine...if im going to the bf's i bring homemade maramalde (sad i know but his mam loves it) or a tart..
    i was always brought up that way and kinda think its curtosy in a way....

    Lasair's BF: "Oh boy, Oh boy. I hope it's not marmalade."


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 11,203 Mod ✭✭✭✭artanevilla


    I'm so great that my arrival itself is a gift.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,121 ✭✭✭amcalester


    The OP is annoyed because people bring him gifts?

    You must love xmas and birthdays.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    if going for dinner, i'd always bring something - bottle(s) of wine usually.

    if i was just calling for tea a nd a chat, i wouldnt bother.

    if i was staying overnight with a friend, i'd bring wine, and maybe some nice cakes/biscuits or flowers


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,707 ✭✭✭veryangryman


    At the risk of starting a he said she said war...

    Im guessing that its mainly a woman thing..?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭BroomBurner


    Are there people here that don't bring anything*?? If ya don't bring at least a bottle of wine, then don't expect an invitation to return!


    *to a dinner.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 924 ✭✭✭Elliemental


    Surely if you`re just dropping by, you`re not going to bring a gift. However, if it`s for a dinner party, then flowers for the hostess and a bottle of good wine for the host. I know, its` totally unimaginitive.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,011 ✭✭✭LimeFruitGum


    Maybe it is a country thing, my mother always said "Don't go in with one hand longer than the other!" :-)
    If I'm calling around to someone's house for tea or dinner, or passing by, I would feel like a scab if I didn't bring something; even if it is just a packet of biscuits or Mr Kiplings :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Overheal wrote: »
    I went to my friend's easter dinner with a bottle of red wine - i basically got laughed at. all the family were beer and scotch drinkers. particularly the women, which was kinda funny.

    That's not very nice of them to laugh at their gift. I hope you accidently spilled some on their carpet..


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