Do you feel death close by?

SarahChambers

My grandmother used to be very close to me. I used to sit in her sitting room for hours listening to her stories, it was always so warm in that room, and the cold winter darkness outside seemed to retreat, both from my mind and from the thick wooden framed windows of the old house. I am older now, and my grandmother has since passed on, but her stories are still as vivid as they were when they were spoken into the dusty air all those years ago. I used to think it was my grandmother herself pricking my consciousness when the stories used to pop back into my mind for no apparent reason. I could almost swear I felt her presence, even though I know better than to believe that.

On the bus into college this week, I was reminded, as usual for no obvious reason, of one particular night in her house. I can remember the way the wind flicked the leafless branches of the trees against the windows that night, as they so often did when the cold winter wind was roused. It always frightened me, but never once did I tell her it did. She was sipping from her cup of tea. I can never remember her without that cup in her hand, and the kettle always seemed to be boiled, ready to make another. The words came from her mouth so suddenly without any warning that the silence which followed their utterance was so profound that the ticking of the old clock upstairs seemed to fill my entire mind, my entire being, as if it was the sound of my own heart beat.

"Some day you will die Sarah" She didn't look at me, "Some day your family will sit together for dinner, and it will be the very last time that ever happens"

I looked at her in horror. This was so far from what she usually said. Her hands were still. The flicker flames of the fire glinted in reflection on her thick glasses. Why did she say this? A million thoughts rushed past me, but I wasn't able to grasp a single one. I felt s surge within myself, and my eyes welled up.
But then she looked at me.
On her face was that same kind smile that had comforted me all my young life, and I understood. She didn't want to scare me. She wanted me to appreciate what I had while I still had it. She didn't need words, and we never spoke of it again. I found out a couple of weeks later that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer. Nothing has ever had such a deep effect on me.

I got off the bus at UCD in the chill of the autumn air in a slight daze. I was stuck somewhere else, a place that doesn't exist anymore, looking into the eyes of my dead grandmother.

I feel like death today after a vat of guinness last night.

My name is URL

Jaysus

Little Acorn

SarahChambers wrote: »

My grandmother used to be very close to me. I used to sit in her sitting room for hours listening to her stories, it was always so warm in that room, and the cold winter darkness outside seemed to retreat, both from my mind and from the thick wooden framed windows of the old house. I am older now, and my grandmother has since passed on, but her stories are still as vivid as they were when they were spoken into the dusty air all those years ago. I used to think it was my grandmother herself pricking my consciousness when the stories used to pop back into my mind for no apparent reason. I could almost swear I felt her presence, even though I know better than to believe that.

On the bus into college this week, I was reminded, as usual for no obvious reason, of one particular night in her house. I can remember the way the wind flicked the leafless branches of the trees against the windows that night, as they so often did when the cold winter wind was roused. It always frightened me, but never once did I tell her it did. She was sipping from her cup of tea. I can never remember her without that cup in her hand, and the kettle always seemed to be boiled, ready to make another. The words came from her mouth so suddenly without any warning that the silence which followed their utterance was so profound that the ticking of the old clock upstairs seemed to fill my entire mind, my entire being, as if it was the sound of my own heart beat.

"Some day you will die Sarah" She didn't look at me, "Some day your family will sit together for dinner, and it will be the very last time that ever happens"

I looked at her in horror. This was so far from what she usually said. Her hands were still. The flicker flames of the fire glinted in reflection on her thick glasses. Why did she say this? A million thoughts rushed past me, but I wasn't able to grasp a single one. I felt s surge within myself, and my eyes welled up.
But then she looked at me.
On her face was that same kind smile that had comforted me all my young life, and I understood. She didn't want to scare me. She wanted me to appreciate what I had while I still had it. She didn't need words, and we never spoke of it again. I found out a couple of weeks later that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer. Nothing has ever had such a deep effect on me.

I got off the bus at UCD in the chill of the autumn air in a slight daze. I was stuck somewhere else, a place that doesn't exist anymore, looking into the eyes of my dead grandmother.

You write beautifully. This seems like I'm reading a book.

Don't know about death sarah but you should be a writer! I felt as if I was reading a piece from a novel just then! Seriously!

Little Acorn

Little Acorn wrote: »

You write beautifully. This seems like I'm reading a book.

LOL! Glad it wasn't just me!

Little Acorn

Deleted User wrote: »

LOL! Glad it wasn't just me!

I had to double check that it wasn't an extract from a story.
She uses wonderful description.
Makes me want to go and have a read. :-)

I have 40 pages of new moon left and no idea why I'm on the interweb!

I'm off to find out what happens to Edward and Bella!

Little Acorn

Deleted User wrote: »

I have 40 pages of new moon left and no idea why I'm on the interweb!

I'm off to find out what happens to Edward and Bella!

Enjoy your read!

dentalnurse

yeah it was like an extract from a book. but no, they are just memories! dont worry your little head about it

Alessandra

I am sad now:(

dentalnurse

dentalnurse wrote: »

yeah it was like an extract from a book. but no, they are just memories! dont worry your little head about it

I wish I could remember things so vividly. It's a gift.

georgem25

That reads beautiful. Great story

donmeister

Its behind you! LOOK OUT!!

El Weirdo

I live next to a graveyard.

Futurism

Cool story, Hansel.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm off to find out what happens to Edward and Bella!

I'll save you some time, both of them realised being emo was so last year, they grew up and got a job.
They never married because Bell put on a massive amount of weight and Edward, well he is obviously gay.

The end.

Epic Tissue

This does not belong in After Hours

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote: »

I'll save you some time, both of them realised being emo was so last year, they grew up and got a job.
They never married because Bell put on a massive amount of weight and Edward, well he is obviously gay.

The end.

what does emo mean? and edward can't grow up - he's a vampire silly :rolleyes:

f3qh5g0z6vc7ob

Beautiful story you should look into creative writing.

Professey Chin

Emo alert!!!!

BaconZombie

Maybe....

netwhizkid

I see black funeral horses in my dreams as a forewarning to Death in my family and among friends. I had a dream this year and in it met a funeral cortège as I was driving as I turned my car and sped away from it, I then woke up badly shaken. I told my parents that morning at Breakfast and my father told me that this is something seen by members of our family and that there would soon be a death. The following afternoon my sisters BF's father was dead.....

VinnyTGM

That is some quality writing there Sarah.

SV

Sarah depresses me.

Wibbs

Naw, or at least if I consider it I think only about doing the most I can do beforehand. Thinking about death to any great degree is pointless IMHO. It's like sitting through a good movie all the time worrying the credits will roll and the lights will go up. Feck that, watch the movie. At this stage I've buried enough people some way before their time, to dwell too much on it. We're all 9 day wonders so enjoy the time.

Namlub

Too long; didn't read

MarkR

SarahChambers wrote: »

My grandmother used to be very close to me.....

I got off the bus at UCD in the chill of the autumn air in a slight daze. I was stuck somewhere else, a place that doesn't exist anymore, looking into the eyes of my dead grandmother.

I bet you're a riot at parties. Jeez, could at the very least have moved to your aunt and uncle's house in bel air at the end..

DigiGal

Although your writing is good....

That is really the last thing I need to read after I just lost my job

Elliemental

My god, that was wonderfully written OP. You`re now banned from After Hours for life. Far too literate.
Anway, I`ll answer the question. All my dead relatives are exactly that, and i`ve never `felt` them nearby, or had `dreams` about them that felt like more than just dreams. Not for want of trying (especially when my mother died), but no, they`re gone.

Neamhshuntasach

I always feel the presence of my sister and dad beside me and see little white and black lights or something as if they are floating by. Freaks me out. Especially when looking up porn.

TheZohanS

This thread needs cheering up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONXp-vpE9eU

Dudess

If you feel death close by and you're not old or seriously ill or in the middle of a near-death experience, ya need to lighten up. :pac:

brummytom

Yeah I feel like that quite often. My mom used to say when I was younger that whenever she felt in any trouble or danger, or just felt upset; she felt like her dad was there with her, like a guardian angel.

My nan died just over 2 years ago, I've felt a number of times since that's she's here. Me and her were absolutely inseperable, I loved the bones of her; I hope to God I continue to feel her presence throughout the rough times in my life.

And Sarah, beautifully written.

Nettie

Deleted User wrote: »

I have 40 pages of new moon left and no idea why I'm on the interweb!

I'm off to find out what happens to Edward and Bella!

Don't bother. It's awfully writen. Sarah here is a far far better writer.

Nettie

Nettie wrote: »

Don't bother. It's awfully writen. Sarah here is a far far better writer.

Too late - already finished!

Sarah's writing is beautiful but the more I read the twilight series the more I visualise Robert Pattison in my head so it's worth it!

On the subject of feeling death close by though, I've never felt my loved ones near me, I wish I had, it would be comforting.

I had the strangest thing on Monday though, my son, who passed away 6 years ago, had an irish christian name which, when spelled differently, is also an english surname. Every letter or form I picked up on monday had this name on it somewhere, it kind of freaked me out and I wondered was he trying to tell me something? depressing huh!

Dudess

Aw wow Whoopsa, that must have been tough...

brummytom wrote: »

Yeah I feel like that quite often. My mom used to say when I was younger that whenever she felt in any trouble or danger, or just felt upset; she felt like her dad was there with her, like a guardian angel.

My nan died just over 2 years ago, I've felt a number of times since that's she's here. Me and her were absolutely inseperable, I loved the bones of her; I hope to God I continue to feel her presence throughout the rough times in my life.

Is that the same as feeling death close by though? I thought "feeling death close by" meant a foreboding sense that death is impending.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

Aw wow Whoopsa, that must have been tough...

.

It was just kind of odd, I didn't know what to make of it. And my husband is so skeptical that he kind of brushed any "paranormal" thoughts aside.

Is that the same as feeling death close by though? I thought "feeling death close by" meant a foreboding sense that death is impending.

Well if that's what is meant then no, I've definitely never felt that. Hope I never do either!

brummytom

Dudess wrote: »

Is that the same as feeling death close by though? I thought "feeling death close by" meant a foreboding sense that death is impending.

That's what I thought the title of the thread meant as well, but the OP seemed to talk moreso about a sense of feeling lost loved ones nearby?

On the topic of 'feeling death impending' I can't imagine the feeling.
My granny, on the night she died (she wasn't seriously ill or anything, it was a heart attack); she laid out her important documents - will, deeds, etc; family photos. Sat down in her chair, fell unconcious. Went to hospital and died peacefully with her family beside her.

I hope I feel like that before I die - quite content with what's to come, and ready to go.

My uncle was suffering from cancer 2 years ago (Ironically, my nan was also, but that went undetected). I remember hearing him talk to my mom once. He said he was just waiting to die. He was absolutely terrified. He'd completely resigned himself to dying.
Luckily, he was given the all clear. But even so, I'd hate to have to feel as though I should be ready to die.

Erm.. no, I've never felt that

BraziliaNZ

f*ck's sake i'm going out tonight and all i can think about now is my inevitable death and eternal darkness. I'm even wondering what will happen to my paypal account when i die.

BraziliaNZ

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

f*ck's sake i'm going out tonight and all i can think about now is my inevitable death and eternal darkness. I'm even wondering what will happen to my paypal account when i die.

I'll mind it for you