My wife bought a rabbit but...

LegacyUser

...now refuses to even use it. I'm talking about a Rampent Rabbit (Jessica model).


Hi

Going unreg for this.

I suggested to my wife a while back that perhaps we spice up our love life a bit with a sex toy. She laughed it off, said no, we did not need it. I said fair enough, left it at that.

Found out this morning she had purchased a rabbit from an online sex shop. How did I find out? Internet history. I was looking for a website I thought I had bookmarked (turns out I did not) but it was in the internet history. Anyway, there were several links to this sex shop, including the type of rabbit. There was also links with "payment confirmed" so I kind of assumed she had purchased it. There were also a few links to a few porn sites which show basically some women using the rabbit.

So I left the browser open & the history visible. A while ago she came in and sat down and ask why I left the browser/history open. I said why not, I'm not embarrassed, etc and she should not be either. I told her I had no problem with it and neither should she.

I asked her if she had tried it and she said no. She turned it on but she says it's noisy etc.

However, she is now blaming me for whole thing. She said she was curious as I had brought it up. I told her that why I may have brought the subject up, she was the one who had purchased it, without telling me that is. I asked her was she going to tell me, she did not answer that.

In a nutshell, I have no problem with it. I'm actually turned on by it a bit and would like to use it, see how it works out etc. But my wife (who has only turned it on, not used it) is adament she will never use it (her words were I'm not putting that damn thing....)

People's opinions? Should I just let it go? I'm not embarassed by it and certainly not a prude. I'd like to think of myself as a try-sexual, I'll try anything once LOL

Thanks!

krudler

Rampant rabbits are pretty big so maybe she's intimidated by it, suggest getting a smaller one if she's never had a vibrator before, I have no problem with my gf using one, I bought her a rabbit myself once and she was delighted

Taltos

I am just wondering why you feel you have to keep pushing this with her or embarrass her by leaving her web history open to show you were snooping - even if accidentally.

This might actually be the basis of your cold patch.
As to the vib - her body - her choice - leave her alone but be supportive and if she wants to use it she will. Keep pushing it though and she will close down on you...

Mr. Incognito

Husband makes suggestion to wife to spice up sex life.

Wife goes and buys rabbit on the sly to keep husband happy.

Husband stalks wifes internet history and show's her his snooping.

Wife feels privacy is being invaded and damned if I didn't go out of my way for that snooping fecker- surprise is ruined.

Husband is pressurising wife to do something she was planning on surprising him with herself.

Wife tells husband, rightly, to get fecked/

You blew it nosey parker.

Try thinking with your other head for five minutes.

Drop it and rabbit will appear when it is surprise again.

Sheesh. Some people can't see the woods for the trees. Try replacing rabbit with rolex and reread your thread and you may get the idea.

Oryx

Foisting your own sexual preferences onto someone else can be one of the biggest turnoffs there is. Each person has to find their own way to what gets them going. Your wife is clearly unsure and embarrassed about her rabbit, the more you bring it up, the more entrenched in this attitude she is going to get. You need to try a different tack. Pull back and ease off. Just a simple 'congrats on buying it, if you ever want to let me know about it, Im listening'. And dont mention it again. That leaves the door open if she does get curious, to bring it up with you, but without any pressure.

The browser history thing was clumsy and stupid, btw.

ash23

Arghhhh....there is nothing more off putting than pressure. Why don't some people understand this?

She took your ideas and preferences on board and decided to try it out for herself to see if she was comfortable with it and you asically embarassed her. Just because you are up for sex toys and comfortable with it, doesn't mean she is.

She's dipping her toe in something that is outside her comfort zone and probably wanted to see if she enjoyed it before you got involved but you've blown it dude!

LegacyUser

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Husband makes suggestion to wife to spice up sex life.

Wife goes and buys rabbit on the sly to keep husband happy.

Husband stalks wifes internet history and show's her his snooping.

Wife feels privacy is being invaded and damned if I didn't go out of my way for that snooping fecker- surprise is ruined.

Husband is pressurising wife to do something she was planning on surprising him with herself.

Wife tells husband, rightly, to get fecked/

You blew it nosey parker.

Try thinking with your other head for five minutes.

Drop it and rabbit will appear when it is surprise again.

Sheesh. Some people can't see the woods for the trees. Try replacing rabbit with rolex and reread your thread and you may get the idea.

Thank you very much for your reply. Really, much appreciated.

FYI I was not stalking her internet history, I was looking for a link (which I thought I had bookmarked but turns out I had not). The PC is shared, it has no logins, no private accounts. I do not even delete my own history. It was purely accidental that I came across the links.


Thanks for all the other replies. Sure, looking back, leaving the browser/history open was stupid, very silly. I'm not going to bring it up with her again. If she wants to that's up to her, I'm not going to pressurize her any more so.

LegacyUser

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Husband makes suggestion to wife to spice up sex life.

Wife goes and buys rabbit on the sly to keep husband happy.

Husband stalks wifes internet history and show's her his snooping.

Wife feels privacy is being invaded and damned if I didn't go out of my way for that snooping fecker- surprise is ruined.

Husband is pressurising wife to do something she was planning on surprising him with herself.

Wife tells husband, rightly, to get fecked/

You blew it nosey parker.

Try thinking with your other head for five minutes.

Drop it and rabbit will appear when it is surprise again.

Sheesh. Some people can't see the woods for the trees. Try replacing rabbit with rolex and reread your thread and you may get the idea.

spot on and crystal clear that is the issue, OP you really don't understand your wife

Oh The Humanity

I'd heard women going on about these for years. A mate of mine was in love with it!

Am in a relationship but don't mind trying stuff so got one...

When I turned on that penisy bit I nealry died laughing! The noise! I have to say I never use the big penisy bit. Firstly it sounds like a cement mixer and secondly well I'd just prefer a penis.

The little buzzy ears bit is great and that would do on its own. I'd use that here and there with my fella but no interest in the other bit.

An actual man is way better.

ash23

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I'd heard women going on about these for years. A mate of mine was in love with it!

Am in a relationship but don't mind trying stuff so got one...

When I turned on that penisy bit I nealry died laughing! The noise! I have to say I never use the big penisy bit. Firstly it sounds like a cement mixer and secondly well I'd just prefer a penis.

The little buzzy ears bit is great and that would do on its own. I'd use that here and there with my fella but no interest in the other bit.

An actual man is way better.

Have to say I agree. I love experimenting and trying new stuff but imo a rabbit is for a solo artist. I would feel very uncomfortable at a guy using it on me as there is no real interaction there. It completely excludes the guy really.

I have one and was also very put off at first. I didn't like it at all and was raging at wasting the money. But it grew on me as my spinster days increased
I wouldn't use it every single time but it comes in handy. And I wouldn't use it with a partner. Lots of other, better designed toys for use in conjunction with the real thing.

eviltwin

I'm sorry OP but I can't really see what the problem is here?

Okay you bring something up in conversation, she gets the rabbit out of curiousity but maybe on reflection decided it wasn't for her so didnt say anything.

I'd be inclined to agree with the other posters who say she's probably pissed you were "snooping" on her by looking at her internet history.

You have it now so if in the future she gets a bit braver its always there but maybe its something she needs to use alone rather than with you there. Don't put too much pressure on her - if and when she's ready to use it with you I'm sure you'll be the first to know

LegacyUser

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm sorry OP but I can't really see what the problem is here?

Okay you bring something up in conversation, she gets the rabbit out of curiousity but maybe on reflection decided it wasn't for her so didnt say anything.

I'd be inclined to agree with the other posters who say she's probably pissed you were "snooping" on her by looking at her internet history.

You have it now so if in the future she gets a bit braver its always there but maybe its something she needs to use alone rather than with you there. Don't put too much pressure on her - if and when she's ready to use it with you I'm sure you'll be the first to know

Yeah, I think I will just leave it alone. If she brings it up then she brings it up, if not then no worries. Thanks for all the replies.

ash23

By the way, OP, try out some more tame treats for the bedroom before petrifying your wife with the big guns
I think ye started off too big (excuse the pun).

Durex do a fantastic range of stuff called Play- lubricants and small sex toys which you can chuck into the trolley at the supermarket or buy online if your wife would prefer something more discreet. They are very non scary, easy to use and "fun". (no connection to Durex, just a happy customer)

Might be worth looking at with her? if she enjoys trying those things then maybe work your way up to something else.

Darthhoob

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I'd heard women going on about these for years. A mate of mine was in love with it!

Am in a relationship but don't mind trying stuff so got one...

When I turned on that penisy bit I nealry died laughing! The noise! I have to say I never use the big penisy bit. Firstly it sounds like a cement mixer and secondly well I'd just prefer a penis.

The little buzzy ears bit is great and that would do on its own. I'd use that here and there with my fella but no interest in the other bit.

An actual man is way better.

i felt the same when i got one, the noise was offputting and laughable. but many of my friends really seem to love it...though i had one friend who managed to break hers LOL
i prefer a man to toys, but each to their own....and doesn't hurt trying.

BUT OP, you mentioned something to your wife, and she DID take it on board, and thought about trying it..maybe for herself, maybe to keep you happy...who knows. but now she is feeling very pressured and embarrassed. how you found out is one thing but showing her that you know the way she did? no wonder she is angry.

i think, if you're going to use sex aids, you should start off alot smaller lol. lube, rubs, body chocolate, mini vibrators, cuffs...have a look online for inspiration...but never pressure her into trying them, you went about it in the right way till you showed her you knew about it.